Aftermath
by kriskringle
Summary: What if Rayna did some soul-searching and took responsibility for her actions? What if Juliette helped Maddie navigate the terrain of being an addict's daughter? What if Lamar was on Rayna's side? What if Liam and Juliette got together?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters in this story are owned by ABC. I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of _Nashville_. This story is my own invention, and is for entertainment purposes only. It is not purported or believed to be part of _Nashville_.

**THURSDAY, 11:00 PM**

At the hospital, those closest to Rayna waited anxiously. Teddy, the girls, Tandy, Lamar, Bucky and Marshall sat huddled in the waiting room. Juliette and Emily sat nearby.

They had so little information to go on. Whispering among themselves (trying not to disturb the girls), they tried to make sense of what had happened. All they knew for sure was that Rayna had been with Marshall at the Bluebird, followed Deacon outside and never came back. The driver of the other car told police Rayna had run the stop sign and almost plowed into him. She'd avoided a collision at the last second by swerving hard. Deacon's Chevy Suburban had flipped over and its two occupants had been badly injured.

Now, two hours later, beset with worry and fear, Juliette prayed for Deacon and Rayna. Yes, Rayna. As much as Rayna annoyed Juliette, with her perfect hair and that inexplicable allure that made men like Deacon and Liam lose their heads, the two women had developed a grudging respect for one another. The way Rayna had reached out to Juliette after her mother's death had meant a great deal.

If Juliette was conflicted at all about Rayna, her concern for Deacon was unadulterated. She had come to love and care for him, though she was not _in_ love with him (nobody but Liam McGuinniss would be so conceited – so deluded - as to think they actually stood a chance of getting in between Rayna and Deacon). Despite the fact that Deacon sometimes treated her like a child, Juliette considered him a friend, someone who looked out for her. And that kind of person was in short supply in her small circle. Coming so soon on the heels of her mother's death, news of the accident had shaken Juliette to her core. _Why in the world had Deacon been drinking? _She got the feeling nearly everyone else in the room had a theory, but they weren't sharing it with her. Somehow Maddie felt that it was all her fault, but Juliette couldn't understand why.

Looking at Maddie's tear-stained face, Juliette's heart ached for her. Impulsively she told the girls their mother was strong, and that she was sure Rayna would come through unscathed. Maddie looked unconvinced but it seemed to cheer Daphne, who eventually relaxed enough to fall asleep in Teddy's arms. When Maddie looked again at Juliette, the girl's eyes were big and questioning. 'What about Deacon?' she said anxiously. 'Do you think Deacon will be okay?' Slightly bemused (_I never knew Deacon was so close to the girls_), Juliette reassured Maddie as best she could. 'If possible, Deacon is even more stubborn than your mama. A little old fender bender isn't going to keep him down.' Maddie smiled uncertainly, hoping it was true.

Next to Maddie, Teddy glowered. The mention of Deacon's name had its usual effect on him and bile rose in his throat. _This is all his fault,_ Teddy thought darkly. _As usual, she risked everything for him. __Is there anything she won't do for that deadbeat? _Teddy hoped Deacon would succumb to his injuries. Maybe then the thorn that had been stuck in his side for the last 14 years would be excised. Perhaps Rayna would even give him another chance. Beyond the anger, most of what Teddy felt was fear. Looking at his daughters, he wondered what he would do if Rayna didn't make it. How would he raise the girls by himself? _With Peggy? _The news of Peggy's pregnancy hadn't quite sunk in, so preoccupied was he with Rayna. Lost in contemplation, Teddy settled Daphne more comfortably on his lap and waited. He prayed that the news, when it came, would be good. Beside him, Maddie fussed irritably with a drawstring on her grey sweatshirt. Teddy knew Rayna wasn't the only patient on Maddie's mind.

Across the room, Scarlett leaned uncomfortably against Gunnar, her head on his shoulder, their fingers intertwined. She slept fitfully, waking now and then until Gunnar spoke soothingly to her, lulling her back to sleep.

Coleman sat between the waiting families, silently imploring both patients to survive. He'd overheard the police say there had been an open container in the car, and he cursed himself for trusting Deacon so readily. According to Marshall, Rayna had ordered a Diet Coke at the Bluebird. This meant Deacon had probably been drinking, which would explain why Rayna had been behind the wheel of his Chevy Suburban. _Deacon, what have you done?_ Coleman thought as he redoubled his prayers.

**FRIDAY, 1:00 AM**

'Family of Rayna James?' The surgeon walked briskly into the waiting room, searching the assembled faces. Noticing their tired expressions, he gave them a small smile. He was tired too, as usual, but with this patient the news was good and he was happy to ease their minds.

He recognized the mayor of Nashville, one arm folded protectively around a young girl asleep against his shoulder. Next to him, an older girl sat stoically, apparently bracing for the worst. The younger girl stirred at the sound of the surgeon's voice, accidentally bumping Teddy's chin with the top of her head. Rubbing his jaw, Teddy tried to shift Daphne in order to stand, but stopped when he saw Lamar get to his feet. The surgeon recognized the old statesman, though he looked older than he remembered. Indeed, Lamar looked beaten - as if he'd aged 20 years. Tandy rose with him, a steadying hand on her father's shoulder.

'I'm Rayna's father,' Lamar said, his voice cracking. Then he stood up straighter, ready for the truth. 'How is she?'

'She's resting now, in recovery. The surgery went well, once we stopped the bleeding.' Lamar collapsed back into the chair, relief etched into his face.

'She's in an induced coma.' At the word 'coma,' the eldest girl flinched, so he said quickly, 'It's just to give her time to heal. We'll bring her out of it in a few days.'

The surgeon went on, smiling broadly. 'The other good news is that the baby is fine.'

He looked at Teddy, who went slack-jawed.

'Baby?' Teddy croaked.

As if on cue, Tandy, Juliette, Marshall and Bucky mouthed the same word, staring at each other.

The surgeon laughed. 'Oh, so this is a surprise. Mr. Mayor, your wife is eight weeks along.'

Taking in the stunned faces, he smiled again. 'She'll be in recovery for a few hours. You can sit with her then. In the meantime, I suggest you all go home and get some sleep.' He looked at his watch. 'You can come back around 9:00. Now, if you'll excuse me…'

Rayna's family whooped with relief as the surgeon headed for the door. Maddie trailed him, walking as quickly as she could. She had hoped to ask her question quietly, unnoticed by anyone else in the room, but the doctor was in a hurry and there was no time to be inconspicuous. He was almost out the door when he heard Maddie calling after him.

'Deacon?' The word burst out.

All eyes turned to Maddie, then the surgeon. 'Do you know how Deacon is?' Maddie said, in a small voice. Moments before there had been jubilation but a pall quickly settled over the room. The surgeon noticed that the only person who seemed unaffected was the mayor, who rolled his eyes.

'I've been with your mother,' the surgeon said gently, assuming this was Rayna's daughter. 'So I'm not sure how Mr. Claybourne is.' He patted Maddie's hand reassuringly.

'But I'll try to find someone who can let you know.'

Tandy walked over to Maddie and put her arms around her. The two nearly toppled over when Daphne jumped on Tandy's back. 'I knew mom would be okay! And we're going to have a baby!' Daphne chirped happily, grinning from ear to ear. Laughing at Daphne, Tandy sobered when she looked again at Maddie. She knew her niece was worried about her biological father, so Tandy did the best she could: she reassured Maddie that Deacon was strong, and that doctors in this hospital were among the best in the world.

At that moment, Daphne announced she needed to use the facilities, so Tandy shepherded both girls out the door. She promised Maddie they would come right back.

As soon as the girls had left the room, Lamar turned his attention to his son-in-law. Looking at him merrily, he uttered the question that was on everyone's mind.

'Well, Teddy,' he said loudly, 'from the look on your face, I assume congratulations are_ not_ in order?'

Chuckling, Lamar didn't look to see Teddy's reaction; instead he started thumbing through the magazine closest to his chair.

Teddy didn't respond. Eyes shooting daggers at his father-in-law, he gathered the girls' things and went to find his daughters.

Observing Lamar, Coleman thought that for all the anxiety of the previous hours, the older man looked strangely relaxed. Publicly humiliating his son-in-law had apparently given him a second wind.

A few minutes later, Tandy came back to the waiting room with Maddie, having handed Daphne off to her father. Unable to get Maddie to leave, Tandy had promised Teddy she would take Maddie back to her place just as soon as they knew more about Deacon's condition.

Surprised to find Lamar still there, Tandy led Maddie to where he was sitting. At the sound of their footsteps, he looked up to see Maddie's tired, strained face. He closed the magazine and reached for the girl, gathering his granddaughter into his arms. Rocking her gently, he rested his chin on her hair, whispering soothingly, 'Don't you worry, Maddie. Deacon is going to be fine. Just like your mama.'

Hearing Deacon's name, Coleman looked at Lamar in surprise. Acknowledging Coleman's stare, Lamar settled more comfortably in the chair and said simply, 'I'll wait with Maddie.'

And so they all waited, wishing for someone to come and relieve their anxiety.

No one did.


	2. Chapter 2

**FRIDAY, 3:30 AM**

Maddie opened her eyes and looked around the room. Only Juliette was awake_. _Tandy and Bucky dozed on the couch nearest the door, curled up against one another. Scarlett and Gunnar sat next to Coleman, Scarlett's head resting on Gunnar's shoulder. Next to them, Coleman snored softly.

Juliette had only her own thoughts to keep her company. She'd sent Emily home, and Marshall had followed Teddy out the door. _What the hell is taking those damned doctors so long?_ Juliette fretted. _Would it kill someone to come in and give us an update? _She'd already been out to the nurse's station twice, demanding news, but both times she'd been told that Deacon was still in surgery and that his doctors would speak to the family as soon as they could. Besides the immediate question of Deacon's survival, Juliette was trying to put the pieces of another puzzle together. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why part of Rayna's family was still there. She could understand Tandy being there, supporting Bucky, but Lamar and Maddie? She knew Maddie was scared, that Deacon was like an uncle to Rayna's children, but that didn't explain it.

Juliette watched as Maddie disentangled herself from her sleeping grandfather's arms. Moving quietly, careful not to wake the others, Maddie sat down in the empty chair next to Juliette. Shaking her head at Maddie's unasked question (_No news yet, Maddie_), Juliette put her arm around the girl's shoulder and pulled her close. She hadn't planned to do it but it happened instinctively when she saw what lay in the girl's eyes.

'It's all my fault,' Maddie whispered.

_What?_ There it was again, the nagging feeling that none of this made sense. She'd heard the girl say something similar earlier in the evening but there was no way that was true.

_Can someone please just explain to me what the hell is going on? _Juliette wanted to scream. Instead, she looked into Maddie's eyes, and with all the conviction she could muster, stated firmly. 'No it's not, Maddie. How could you possibly think any of this is your fault?'

The thoughts of the last several hours had weighed oppressively on Maddie. She desperately needed to unburden herself. For some reason, she felt Juliette would understand.

'I heard the doctor say Deacon was drinking. I think it's because of what I told him,' she said slowly, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears. 'It's all my fault.'

Despite being more confused than ever, Juliette spoke to Maddie firmly. 'Maddie, I don't know what you told Deacon, but I know for a fact that you aren't responsible for him drinking. That's all on him. When an alcoholic picks up a drink, that's his choice, no one else's.'

'But I'm the one who told him,' Maddie insisted. Seeing the look of confusion in Juliette's eyes, Maddie laid it out for her.

'He didn't know before – that…' she hesitated, looked down, and then continued.

'…that I'm his daughter. That's what made him drink.' She looked up at Juliette to see her reaction.

Stunned, Juliette stared at the girl. _Well, that explains a few things_, she thought stupidly. _Good Lord._

Maddie continued, voicing her deepest fear.

'And now … ' she said haltingly, 'Now, I might never get a chance to talk to him about it.' Maddie's tears were flowing freely now as she looked at Juliette, eyes begging for absolution.

Juliette knew that what she was about to say could make or break the girl's heart, so she spoke carefully.

'Maddie, I need you to listen to me. Will you do that? Will you really listen?'

Maddie nodded.

'No matter what happened, or what will happen, this is not your fault. Do you hear me?' Juliette brushed a strand of hair from the girl's forehead and stared deeply into her eyes, willing her to listen.

'I can't pretend to know exactly what was going through Deacon's mind when he picked up that drink, but I do know it was not because he found out you're his daughter.'

Looking at Juliette hopefully, Maddie whispered, 'Then _why_?'

'Honey, I know Deacon. He's a good man, and he loves you – you and your sister both. If I had to make a guess, I'd say he was hurt because he realized he'd missed out on the first thirteen years your life and that's something he can never get back. That's the only explanation.'

_That and the fact that your mama has been lying to him all these years_, Juliette thought to herself.

Maddie looked at Juliette doubtfully. She wanted to believe her, but wasn't sure she could. Seeing the skepticism in Maddie's eyes, Juliette continued.

'Honey, I know how you feel. My mama was an alcoholic, and I used to think it was my fault that she drank. That if I was a better daughter … ' Juliette trailed off momentarily, remembering. She jerked herself back to the present. 'That if I was good enough, she wouldn't need to drink.'

Juliette smiled down at Maddie as she gathered thoughts. 'But I was wrong. And you know who finally convinced me of that?' Maddie shook her head. 'Your mama. She told me that I had always been good enough. And she was right.'

'Maddie, believe me when I tell you that no one can make an alcoholic pick up a drink, just like no one can make him put it down. Don't torture yourself. Your mama wouldn't want that, and neither would Deacon.'

Maddie nodded, trying to take in all she had heard. Despite her guilt, she felt better. Juliette's mom had been an alcoholic, so she must know what she was talking about.

'Now, do you want something from the vending machine? I'm getting pretty hungry, myself,' Juliette said brightly.

Offering Maddie her hand, Juliette led the girl to the machine outside the room, both of them deep in thought.

**FRIDAY, 5:00 AM**

'Family of Deacon Claybourne'?

It was a different surgeon this time, and apparently he didn't feel like smiling.

'Here,' Scarlett held up her hand. 'I'm Deacon's niece.'

Scarlett had spent the last six hours leaning heavily against Gunnar, getting up long enough only to make tearful calls to her mother.

'How is he?' Scarlett asked tentatively.

Everyone one in the room was on high alert. Maddie stood between Juliette and Tandy, supported between them. Addressing Scarlett, the surgeon spoke. 'Your uncle is in intensive care. He arrested twice on the table. We were able to repair most of the damage to his liver, but we won't know the extent of his brain injury until he wakes up.' He paused, then added softly, 'If he wakes up.'

Scarlett, Maddie and Juliette gasped. Scarlett clapped both hands over her mouth and started weeping openly.

'He may recover fully, or there may be lasting damage. We simply don't know. We have to reduce the swelling in his brain. The next 24 hours are crucial. The best thing you can do for him is to talk to him, let him know you're there.'

Maddie spoke up. 'When can we see him?'

'I'm afraid only family members are permitted in intensive care.'

'I'm family,' she said simply. 'I'm his daughter.'

All eyes turned to Maddie. Lamar walked to his granddaughter's side and addressed the surgeon.

'That is correct. Deacon is the child's father and she should be allowed to see him.'

At this revelation, Scarlett looked to Tandy and Lamar in shock. _Did I just hear what I think I did? _

Tandy nodded sympathetically and reached out to touch Scarlett's shoulder. 'It's true, Scarlett. Maddie just found out.'

Bewildered, Scarlett asked, 'Does Deacon know?'

'Yes,' Tandy told her. 'He found out the other night.'

_So that was why he was drinking._

Scarlett excused herself and rushed to call her mother. She wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to her mother that Deacon may not survive. Or that she'd need to set one more place at the kiddie table at Thanksgiving.


	3. Chapter 3

**TUESDAY, 10:00 AM**

Rayna's eyes fluttered open.

She was so tired. It took every ounce of strength she had to keep her eyes open. After several attempts, she managed.

Glancing around the room, she saw that vases of flowers festooned every surface - dresser, tables, counters - even the windowsill.

_Did I fall asleep in my dressing room? _

She turned her head, trying to make sense of her surroundings. As she did, she felt a dull ache at the base of her skull.

_Why the hell does my head hurt so much? God, was I out with Liam again? _

Then she noticed her sister asleep in the chair beside her bed.

_Why is Tandy asleep in my dressing room? Did Buck forget to take her home?_

She noticed the bedrails and then it hit her.

_This isn't a dressing room. _

All at once, the events leading up to the accident flooded back to her.

_Maddie. _

_Deacon drinking. _

_The car. _

_The fight. _

_The accident. _

_Deacon. _

_Deacon! _

She cried his name, waking Tandy with a start.

Moving quickly to Rayna's bed, Tandy put her hand on Rayna's forehead, covered now with a thin sheen of perspiration.

'Shhhh, Rayna, he's okay. You're in the hospital. Everything is all right,' Tandy soothed.

Tandy didn't want Rayna to know how badly Deacon had been injured, lest it jeopardize her own recovery. She didn't need to know that Deacon was still unconscious, that the swelling in his brain was so severe Deacon's sister had come to say goodbye.

Rayna let herself be soothed. Her mouth was dry, her lips cracked. Tandy offered her an ice cube as Rayna asked about the girls.

'They're fine. Everyone is fine. Don't you worry about a thing. Just concentrate on getting well.'

Sensing Tandy wasn't being completely honest with her, Rayna asked about the people in the other car. Had they been hurt?

'No,' Tandy said firmly. 'They're fine. They weren't hurt at all.'

Tandy tried to speak firmly but Rayna knew her sister well enough to know she was holding something back.

'Then what's wrong? Is it me?'

'Sweetie, you have a concussion and six broken ribs. The doctors put you in a coma to give you time to heal and that's where you've been for the last four days. They decided to let you come out of it this afternoon. A few more days of rest and you can go home with me. I'll stay with you when it's your week with the girls.'

Rayna grabbed Tandy's forearm weakly. _Something doesn't add up._

'Where's Deacon?' she asked urgently. 'I want to see him. Has he been discharged?'

Tandy couldn't meet Rayna's eyes. Immediately, Rayna tensed with fear.

'Tandy, what is wrong with Deacon?' she said forcefully, squeezing Tandy's arm tightly. 'Where is he?'

Extricating herself from her sister's grip, Tandy sighed and pulled her chair closer to Rayna's bed. She spoke gently as she brushed Rayna's hair back from her forehead.

'Rayna, Deacon was hurt pretty badly in the accident. You both were…'

Tandy paused, trying to figure out a way to say it.

'…but Deacon most of all. He had lacerations to his liver, a concussion and swelling in his brain. He's still unconscious. The doctors keep trying to wake him up, but they haven't been able to.'

Tandy paused, seeing Rayna's agitated expression. Her eyes were filling with tears. Quickly taking both her sister's hands in her own, Tandy spoke gently.

'He's not..…brain dead…he's just ... unresponsive. And the doctors don't know why.'

Tandy finished speaking and Rayna dissolved in tears.

_He has to wake up_, she thought in despair_._

'I want to see him,' she said urgently. 'Will you take me to him?'

Tandy looked at her sister and sighed. Like Liam, Tandy had once been delusional enough to think she could drive a wedge (this one named Teddy) between Rayna and Deacon. It hadn't been possible then and she knew now it probably never would be.

_Unless Deacon can't forgive Rayna for keeping Maddie's paternity a secret_, Tandy thought uneasily. _Well, with any luck, he'll wake up with amnesia. Problem solved._

It occurred to Tandy that she'd finally given up the fight. After all these years, Tandy had come to accept what Deacon meant to her sister, and what her sister meant to him (even if Tandy couldn't fully understand it, having never experienced an all-consuming passion herself). Still, who was she to stand in their way?

'OK, after the doctor checks you out and gives you the all clear, I'll take you to him.'

'Have you seen him?' Rayna asked tearfully.

'Yes. Coleman, Scarlett and Juliette have been taking turns sitting with him, talking to him. I brought Maddie in a couple of times. Deacon's sister is here, too.'

_Good. He hasn't been alone._

'I need to talk to Maddie – how is she? How is she handling it?' Rayna asked.

'She's worried about you both, but she's okay. She's been playing the guitar for him.' Tandy stood up. 'Listen, I need to call Daddy and Teddy – let them know you're awake.'

Rayna nodded weakly. _Deacon_, she thought. _Please be alright. _

After her calls, Tandy sat back down next to Rayna's bed.

'The girls are so excited. They'll be by tonight during visiting hours. They want me to find out if you're allowed to have cupcakes.'

Rayna liked the sound of that. It seemed so long since she had seen her daughters.

'Rayna…' Tandy began, not sure how to broach the subject.

'There's something else you need to know. When you were in surgery, the doctors discovered you're pregnant.'

'What?!' Rayna gasped. _Good Lord. __'_Is the baby okay?' she asked with trepidation.

'The baby is fine,' Tandy said soothingly. 'Don't worry – you're both fine.'

Rayna's head throbbed. Grimacing, she pressed her fingers to her temple. Tandy gave Rayna a moment for the news to sink in. She watched as her sister tried to assimilate all that had happened. Then she asked the question that was uppermost in her mind.


	4. Chapter 4

'Rayna - the doctor said you're eight weeks along. Given the way Teddy reacted - I assume the baby is Deacon's?'

'Of course it's Deacon's, Tandy. Teddy and I haven't slept together in over a year.'

Tandy laughed. 'Well, that explains the look on Teddy's face.'

Rayna smiled, too, but only for a moment. News of the baby and worry about Deacon chased all other thoughts from her mind.

_A baby._ _We're going to have another baby. _

She vowed that this time it would be different. This time, there would be no secrets between them.

She prayed it wasn't too late.

**TUESDAY, 11:00 AM**

Rayna's doctors advised her to take it easy. They told her that in order to get her ribs on the road to recovery, she needed to breathe deeply at least once an hour.

Having gotten the all clear from Rayna's doctors, Tandy prepared to make good on her end of the bargain. A nurse helped Rayna into a wheelchair while Tandy steadied it. Rayna climbed in, impatient to be on her way. She moved too fast and a wave of nausea overcame her.

'Take it easy!' the nurse scolded. Stopping mid-descent, Rayna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Gripping the armrests tightly, she exhaled and lowered herself gingerly into the chair. She opened her eyes.

'I'm okay, y'all,' she said impatiently. 'Can we please just go?'

Rayna's ribs ached. Clutching a pillow against her chest she sent another silent plea to the heavens (at least her 40th in as many minutes). _Please let him recover,_ she importuned to whomever, whatever might be in charge of the universe.

They set off. As they exited the room, Tandy narrowly avoided running Rayna's knee into the doorjamb. _That was close, _Tandy thought. Gaining control, she navigated the chair out the door and down the hallway towards Deacon's room. He'd been moved out of intensive care two days earlier.

As they traveled, the clicking of the wheelchair's wheels kept time with Rayna's thoughts.

_He'll regain consciousness_.

Click.

_He'll be okay. _

Click.

_He __**will **__recover_ - _sensibilities and biting sarcasm intact. _

Click.

_He will forgive me. _

Click.

_OK, maybe he won't forgive me, but it doesn't matter – please just let him be alright. _

Click.

This beautiful man, with the surprisingly sly sense of humor and a singular musical talent, with fingers so skilled he could captivate an audience or elicit cries of pleasure with a single touch – had to be okay.

Any other outcome was inconceivable.

Down the hall, Juliette had spent the last hour at Deacon's bedside. She was doing her best to irritate him into wakefulness.

She'd started by describing the kind of shampoo she'd used that morning to wash her hair. Then she moved on to the color of nail polish she was wearing, and how Emily had spilled the bottle and she'd yelled at her to clean it up. (She hadn't really yelled at Emily – she'd just said that because she knew Deacon wouldn't approve.) Then she described the five different types of glitter her backup dancers were going to use for the last two shows in the 'Red Lips, White Lies' tour.

No response.

She sighed in exasperation.

'Deacon, I am getting real tired of sittin' here. I've tried asking you nicely to open your eyes, but I'm done. Now I'm gonna give it to you straight: stop being such a candy ass and wake _up_!'

Still nothing.

Juliette sighed again and turned at the sound of someone entering the room. Her mouth gaped open in surprise when she saw Rayna.

'You're awake!' Juliette yelped, moving to Rayna's chair. 'How are you?'

Rayna didn't answer. She was staring at Deacon. He lay there quietly, head bandaged and eyes closed, standard-issue hospital sheet tucked up to his chin. If Rayna didn't know Deacon couldn't sleep on his back, she might have thought he was taking a nap.

'She's okay,' Tandy answered for Rayna. 'She wanted to get here as quick as she could.'

Glancing at Deacon, who was attached to all manner of machines, Tandy spoke to Juliette. 'Any change?' she asked warily, glancing meaningfully at her sister.

'No…not yet.' Juliette smiled at Rayna, trying to lighten the mood. 'I've been hoping to aggravate him into waking up, but I think he's playing possum to spite me.'

Rayna continued to stare. If she'd heard Juliette, she didn't acknowledge it.

'Tandy, can you push me over to the bed?' Rayna said suddenly.

'Sure, honey.' As Tandy pushed the chair, Rayna spoke to Juliette, not looking at her.

'Thank you for keeping Deacon company, Juliette, but if y'all don't mind, I'd like to have some time alone with him.'

'Sure,' Juliette said, grimacing. _Does she do that on purpose?_ _Is she trying to make me feel invisible?_

Sensing Juliette's dismay, Rayna turned her head and looked at the other woman.

'I mean it, Juliette. Thank you,' she said again. 'I know Deacon would be happy to know you're here.'

Rayna thought back to Deacon's birthday party. She knew how much effort Juliette had put into it.

'You're a good friend to him, Juliette – to both of us.'

Pleased, Juliette smiled at Rayna and squeezed her hand. Then she followed Tandy out the door.

_Well, maybe leopards can change their spots,_ Juliette thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Out at the nurse's station, Juliette saw a volunteer she thought she recognized.

_Didn't I ask her to change the water in those vases yesterday?_

The volunteer was deep in conversation with a nurse, so when Juliette tapped her on the shoulder, she startled.

Juliette smiled sweetly.

'Excuse me; I'm visiting Deacon Claybourne in Room 402?'

The volunteer nodded, as if to say, 'So'?'

'He's a real famous guitar player - you may have heard of him?'

Again, the volunteer nodded.

'You have? That's nice - well, people are sending lots of flowers and yesterday I told you…'

At this, the volunteer shook her head.

'It wasn't you? Juliette shrugged her shoulders. 'Well, whoever – it was one of you candy stripers.' It really didn't matter.

_Those God-awful pink stripes make everyone look the same. _Juliette made a mental note for her accountant: _part of this year's charitable contributions will be spent updating those outfits._

Undeterred, Juliette continued. 'Anyway, I told _someone_ that the water in those vases needs changin' on a regular basis.' Juliette had adopted the tone she usually reserved for underlings. _Sometimes you have to let people know who's in charge – even if it does get their panties in a twist. '_The thing is, it's 24 hours later and I'm _still_ seein' bits of plants clinging to the water line.' She raised her eyebrows and smiled conspiratorially. Then she laid down the law.

'Listen, I know Deacon's in a coma but if I didn't know better I'd think you people were bankin' on the smell of cat pee to wake him up.'

At the volunteer's startled look, Juliette said, 'Do you think you can change that water today?

The volunteer nodded uneasily.

'You do? Well, thank you. Have a nice day.'

With that, Juliette turned on her heel and headed for the vending machine. Maybe some Skittles would get the bad taste out of her mouth.

Back in his room, Deacon could hear voices. He'd heard them all along, but he couldn't make out who was speaking or what they were saying. Sometimes he thought he heard singing, but he couldn't be sure.

He just wanted to sleep. Why wouldn't they let him sleep?

Suddenly he heard another voice, one he recognized.

'Hey babe, it's me,' Rayna said gently, stroking his dark hair. 'I hope you can hear me. You should be awake by now.'

_Ray._

He heard a catch in her voice. 'Deacon, I'm so sorry about everything that's happened. I love you so much.'

He heard the words, tried feebly to respond, but he was so tired.

_What is she sorry about?_

He didn't have the energy to find out. Still, even if he couldn't talk, he could listen, enjoy her voice.

'Tandy says Maddie's been coming by to see you, playing her guitar,' Rayna babbled, trying to find something meaningful to say.

_That's nice_, Deacon thought, _a bit surprising, though - why would Maddie pay me any attention?_

'I haven't seen the girls yet, but Teddy's bringing them by tonight.'

_Teddy's bringing the girls? Where are we? Some hotel? Aren't we back in Nashville?_

Rayna went on. 'Maybe the girls and I can sing to you. Would you like that?'

Yes, he would like that. He tried to tell her but he couldn't get it out.

_Hell, I can't even open my eyes. Why am I so tired?_

He felt her fingers, cool to the touch, stroking his hair. She twirled the ends around her fingertips like she used to do way back when. He'd almost forgotten.

_Maybe a kiss will wake him up_, Rayna suddenly thought.

She brushed her lips lightly against his cheek. She thought she saw his eyelids flutter.

Rayna was never one to believe in fairy tales, but at this point she had nothing to lose. She kissed him again, this time pressing her lips firmly against his. He tasted sweet.

Deacon felt the kiss and tried to rouse himself to consciousness. He almost got his eyes open, but he was just too tired. Then he felt something wet land on his cheek. Was she crying?

'Deacon, please,' she said, stroking his cheek gently with her fingertips. 'You're scaring the life out of me. Please wake up! I need you so much – we need you so much –Maddie, me and the baby!'

The urgency in her voice, the pain, got to him. _What baby?_ Suddenly sleep didn't hold that much appeal for him anymore. He struggled for a bit, then opened his eyes.

'Ray,' he said simply, looking at her.

At the sound of his voice, at the sound of her name, Rayna began to cry.

'Hey, what's wrong? Don't cry.' He was so tired. It hurt to talk.

'Nothing, babe – I'm just so happy.'

Rayna yelled for Tandy, hoping she was nearby. Hearing her name, Tandy ran into the room. Juliette followed, trailed by a volunteer with a watering can.

'He's awake,' Rayna beamed, joyfully looking back at Juliette and Tandy. 'Let the nurses know he's awake!'

Turning her attention back to Deacon, Rayna held his hand, stroked his forehead softly and murmured to him gently.

Juliette could see Deacon's eyes were open, but she hadn't heard him say anything. 'Did he talk to you?' Juliette asked uneasily. _Maybe it was just a reflex._

'Hey Juliette.' Deacon whispered.

He is awake! Juliette clapped her hands happily and then thought drily, _Figures he'd wake up for Rayna_. _All that woman has to do is snap her fingers and he'll come a running – all the way back from death's door._

She walked over to the bed and looked down at him. 'Well, Deacon,' she said playfully. 'It's about time you woke up. Thought I was going to have to poke you with a cattle prod.'

Two doctors and a nurse entered the room, Tandy tried to move Rayna's wheelchair out of the way to make room at Deacon's bedside, but Deacon held fast to Rayna's hand.

'Stay,' he croaked.


	6. Chapter 6

The doctor nodded his head in approval, so Tandy let go of the wheelchair and stood with Juliette at the back of the room.

Working around Rayna, the doctor shone a light in Deacon's eyes and began to ask questions.

'What is your name?'

'Deacon Claybourne,' Deacon whispered.

'What year is it?'

'2013' Deacon replied, wearily.

'Do you remember anything about the accident?'

'What accident?' He glanced at Rayna in confusion.

'We were in a car accident,' Rayna said gently. Deacon suddenly noticed Rayna's hospital gown.

'You too?' Deacon asked. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine, babe. Let the doctor ask you some questions.'

'What was the last thing you remember?' The doctor continued.

Deacon rubbed his forehead, trying to remember. 'I - I was getting ready to pick up Rayna for the CMA Awards. Can't remember anything after that. Did we crash on the way to the show?' Deacon's eyes once again moved to Rayna.

'No. I'll tell you all about it when you're feeling better.'

Satisfied, the doctors explained Deacon's injuries, and what he could expect during recovery. Noting the fatigue on Deacon's face, the doctors decided to cut the visit short and advised Rayna and Juliette to do the same.

'I'm leaving,' Juliette assured them. Smiling at Deacon, she said cheerily, 'But I'll be back.'

Deacon returned her smile and whispered, 'Bye, darlin'. Thanks for coming.'

Tandy turned to Rayna. 'Now you say goodbye and I'll take you back to your room.'

She started to wheel her away, but Rayna stuck her foot out, digging her heel hard into the linoleum so the chair couldn't move.

'I want to stay,' Rayna said stubbornly.

One of the doctors who had stayed behind shook his head.

'Ms. Jaymes, you both need to rest.'

The doctor knew all about Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne. He listened to their music and, thanks to his tabloid-obsessed sister, he'd heard more than his fair share of stories about the long-ago romance between the Queen of Country and her brooding guitar player. He knew Teddy was Rayna's husband but the longing he saw in Rayna's eyes that was mirrored back in Deacon's only confirmed the rumors: their romance was far from over.

Deacon smiled saucily at Rayna. 'How 'bout if we rest together?' he whispered, and the doctor suddenly felt as if he were intruding on a private moment.

'OK, for a few minutes,' the doctor told Rayna firmly. 'Then you need to go back to your room.'

'Okay,' she agreed, not really listening.

Tandy went outside to call Scarlett and Deacon's sister.

Deacon closed his eyes, his hand still in Rayna's. She stroked his fingers lightly.

They sat there, fingers intertwined. Deacon drifted off for a moment then opened his eyes. He looked at Rayna, sitting beside him. She was physically close to him, but not close enough. Forgetting that she'd been nearly as injured as he was, he made a simple request.

'Ray,' he whispered. 'Climb up here with me?' the words came out slowly, sleepily.

He didn't need to ask twice. There was nowhere she'd rather be. Raising herself from the chair, she was just about to clamber over the bed rail when Tandy came in.

'Rayna, what are you doing?!' she screeched. 'You just woke up! Get back in that chair!'

'No, Tandy, I'm okay. Help me up. Please.' Rayna began to resume her climb. Shaking her head, but knowing resistance was futile, Tandy helped Rayna into Deacon's bed.

Careful of the tubes and wires, Rayna laid her head against Deacon's shoulder and snuggled into him as close as she could get. Breathing deeply (those were, after all, doctor's orders), she inhaled Deacon's warm, intoxicating scent.

As Tandy observed the two lovers, she was more than a little envious. The passion between them was palpable - the air fairly crackled with desire. Tandy had never seen Rayna look at Teddy the way she saw her looking now at Deacon - not even close. Even after all these years, Rayna and Deacon still couldn't get enough of one another - couldn't get close enough to one another. Ah, to love like that, she thought. Her envy wasn't an indictment of Bucky - not at all. But her relationship with Rayna's manager wasn't built on a foundation of red hot passion.

In the bed, Deacon rested his head against Rayna's, breathing in the scent of her hair. Now he could rest. He closed his eyes. Beside him, Rayna felt her eyelids beginning to droop. She was exhausted. She glanced up at her sister, who stood by the door awaiting further instructions.

'Tandy, I'm too tired to get up. I'm going to stay with Deacon 'til they kick me out of here. Thanks for everything. I'll call you tonight after the girls come by.'

Tandy raised her eyebrows, but knew better than to argue. Once her sister made up her mind the only thing you could do was shut up and get out of the way. She closed the door behind her, shaking her head, hoping for Rayna's sake that Deacon didn't get his memory back just yet. As much as Rayna loved him, Tandy knew Deacon was a powder keg. And when he blew, she wanted her sister as far away as possible – preferably in the next state.

Back in the room, Deacon wanted to ask about the baby he thought he heard her mention, but he could hardly keep his eyes open. He'd sleep for a bit and then they could talk. Beside him, behind closed eyes, Rayna fretted. The only reason Deacon was curled up next to her right now was because he didn't remember the events leading up to the accident. And as much as she hated to do it, she knew he needed to be told. If she was going to do right by him he needed to make an informed decision moving forward. But when was the right time to tell him? She couldn't jeopardize his physical recovery - even if she destroyed his emotional one.

She decided she would ask his doctor. In the meantime, Rayna let the sound of Deacon's breathing lull her to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**TUESDAY, 4:00 PM**

When he awakened, Deacon's face was buried in Rayna's hair. He'd always loved the smell of her hair – a heady combination of spring rain and lavender. No shampoo could mask its natural fragrance. He breathed deeply and she stirred.

'How you feelin', darling?' he asked when he saw her blue eyes open.

'Better – much better,' Rayna said. 'You?'

'Wishin' I could keep you here all night but I think this nurse has other ideas.' He nodded his head at the man, who had just parked Rayna's wheelchair next to the bed.

'Ms. Jaymes, I'll take you back to your room now. It's almost time for dinner.' It was a statement, not a question, but both patients balked.

'Can't she eat here?' Deacon asked.

'Her doctor will want to check her vital signs. As will yours,' the man said firmly.

'How 'bout if we meet up here after we get checked out?' Deacon said. 'We can have dinner together.'

'Sounds good, babe,' she said, and snuggled into him more deeply, apparently oblivious to the waiting nurse.

But before he let her get away, Deacon needed an answer to the question he'd been holding back for the last few hours.

_No time like the present_, he told himself.

'Can we have a minute?' he asked the nurse.

'OK,' the man said, checking his watch. 'The doctor won't be here for another half hour. I'll be back in 15 minutes.' He exited the room, closing the door behind him.

They lay together in bed. Deacon didn't know quite where to begin. There was so much to say. Turning to Rayna, he stroked her cheek lightly with his fingers.

'Ray, before I woke up this morning I thought I heard you talkin' to me.'

Frankly, he was a little embarrassed - what if he hadn't heard right? But he had to know.

'Did you say something about a baby?' He looked at her hopefully.

Rayna nodded, smiling. 'Yes, babe, I'm pregnant. Eight weeks along.'

Inhaling sharply, he broke out laughing. He peppered her face with kisses. He kissed both eyes, both cheeks, nibbled at her ear and finally stopped at her mouth. Parting her lips with his tongue, they kissed deeply, exploring each other's mouths with growing passion.

Remembering the accident, he stopped abruptly. 'Is the baby okay? I mean – it wasn't hurt in the crash?'

Smiling up at him, she said, 'The baby's fine. We're both fine.' Then she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. It was harder than he remembered. He stroked it gently and chuckled happily. He was overjoyed.

'Never thought I'd be a father, Ray – and havin' a baby with you, the only woman I have ever loved…'

He paused to kiss her, gently nibbling her lips.

'Well, I guess you could say this is about the happiest damned day of my life.'

Rayna was gutted.

'Deacon, I'…she began, and then stopped. She couldn't - not now. She had to speak to his doctor first.

'At that moment the door opened and the nurse came back in, ready to take her back to her room.

Deacon saw something he didn't recognize in Rayna's eyes. He looked at her searchingly, but she didn't acknowledge his look of concern. Instead, she smiled at him faintly and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

'Ray – what…' Deacon said, confused.

Rayna didn't let him finish. 'We'll talk later, babe. See you soon.' She allowed the nurse to help her into the wheelchair and waved goodbye.

The nurse expertly steered her down the hall (no near run-ins with the doorjamb this time). When they entered her room, Rayna allowed the man to help her into bed and smooth the coverlet over her legs. When he turned to leave she stopped him with a word.

'Excuse me, but I'd like to speak to Deacon's doctor after he examines him.'

'I'll ask him to come to your room.'

Her own doctor soon came to examine her. He proclaimed her to be well, so she prepared for the girls' visit.

Fifteen minutes before visiting hours were to begin, Teddy called. After making cupcakes, the girls had both started feeling ill. Daphne had a sore throat and Maddie had a slight fever. They would come by tomorrow evening if they felt better.

Rayna talked to each of the girls for 15 minutes, and then Teddy got back on the line.

'I'm glad you're feeling better, Rayna. We were all worried sick…Did Tandy tell you what the doctors found when you were in surgery – you know, about being…'

'Pregnant? Yes, she told me.'

'Well, congratulations I guess.' He hesitated.

'Is it Deacon's?'

'Yes, it's Deacon's – who the hell else's would it be?'

'Well, you and Liam were getting awfully close there for a while.'

'Not that close.'

'Listen, Tandy told Maddie that Deacon woke up today,' he said nervously. 'I'm…happy for you.'

'Thanks, Teddy.'

Sighing, he said, 'Maddie wants to see him.'

'I'll ask the doctors when he can have visitors.'

'OK. Tandy also told Maddie that Deacon doesn't remember anything about the accident. Or…the paternity issue. Are you going to tell him everything? 'Cause maybe it's better not to...'

'Teddy, now that Maddie knows, we can't exactly un-ring that bell. And yes, I'm going to tell him.'

'OK. Well, I have some news of my own.'

He hesitated, and then took the plunge.

'I may as well tell you now that Peggy is pregnant.'

Shocked, Rayna practically dropped the phone.

'What?!' Rayna said, laughing. 'Well, I'll be damned. Congratulations to you both, Teddy. Guess we could both use a contraception refresher course, huh? Have you told the girls?'

'Not yet. I thought I'd wait until you were home.'

'OK, whatever you think's best.' Despite the pain in her ribs, Rayna couldn't help giggling.

'What's so funny? You're in no position to talk.' Teddy said, grumpily.

'I know, Teddy, I'm sorry. It's just so … so … perfect!' Rayna laughed out loud.

'Yes, very funny.' Teddy sighed.

'Goodnight, Rayna. Sleep well.'

'You too, Teddy. Talk to you tomorrow,' Rayna tittered. 'Toodleoo!' she added, and hung up the phone.

Just then there was a knock on the door. Deacon's doctor opened it and looked at Rayna questioningly.

Immediately the laughter died on her lips as she remembered her own situation.

'I was told you wanted to speak to me?' the doctor said, looking at the woman sitting on the bed.

'Yes, thank you. Please come in.' When he stepped closer, she noticed the doctor held a file folder with Deacon's name on it.

'How is he?' she asked.

'I'm afraid you'll need to ask him, Ms. Jaymes, unless he signs a confidentiality release form that allows me to disclose information to you about his condition.'

Frightened, she said, 'Please – is something wrong? Can you at least tell me that?'

'You should speak to him about it but I can tell you that we have no major concerns at the moment. He's making a remarkable recovery considering what he went through.'

Grateful, Rayna got to the point.

'I wanted to ask…' she paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. 'Doctor, do you think Deacon will remember the days leading up to the accident?'

The doctor was silent for a moment, considering. 'As I said, I can't speak to Mr. Claybourne's case specifically. However I can tell you that in general, no one can say with any certainty whether forgotten memories will return. If they do come back, it may take weeks or months. They may never return.'

'I see,' Rayna said, picking at the blanket on her bed. Then she began again.

'I don't want to jeopardize his recovery, but - there are some things he needs to know about the events leading up to the accident – upsetting things. I'm trying to figure out if I should tell him now, or wait until he's fully recovered.'

The physician looked at her. 'I don't mean to pry, but I would be better able to guide you if I had some idea what you're talking about.'

'Does the whole 'doctor-patient privilege' thing apply in this case - even though you're not my doctor?'

'Of course,' he said neutrally.

'Can you please shut the door, then?' Rayna asked, relieved at the prospect of finally getting some answers. Looking the doctor squarely in the eye, she told her story.

'Deacon is a recovering alcoholic. He's been sober for years, but the night before the accident he found out something devastating…something I'd never told him before.

'For the first time in 13 years, he took a drink. The next night he was about to drive drunk so I took his keys and drove him home. We were arguing and that's when the accident happened.'

'Deacon doesn't remember any of that. He doesn't remember the thing he found out, but … other people do. He doesn't remember that I… that I … betrayed him…as he sees it.'

She ran her fingers through her hair, trying to get a handle on her emotions.

'He doesn't remember losing his sobriety.' She looked up at the doctor then and her eyes were filled with anguish.

'The point is that he was happy to spend the afternoon with me just now only because he doesn't remember. If he did…' her eyes ached from trying to hold back the tears, '…he would never want to see me again.'

The doctor looked at Rayna. Thanks to his tabloid-hungry sister, he had a feeling he understood the situation to which she was alluding: the paternity of her eldest child. He took a moment to collect his thoughts.

But before he could respond, Rayna said simply. 'You know what, I think maybe I just answered my own question. Thank you, Doctor.'


	8. Chapter 8

Later, back in Deacon's room, he and Rayna shared a dinner of blueberry yogurt and crackers. Over the course of the meal, they touched lightly on various topics – the baby mostly, but a little about the tour. They also compared aches and pains. When Deacon voiced frustration over his inability to remember the night of the accident, Rayna quickly changed the subject. Since he'd been feeling increasingly fatigued, he hadn't pressed her for details. Instead, he focused on simply enjoying her company.

As they talked, Deacon grew more relaxed, thinking he wouldn't mind dropping the chit-chat and just hitting the sack. But he didn't want to go to bed alone. Despite the fact that he'd been unable to shake the nagging feeling that something between them wasn't quite right, he wanted her with him.

'Hey Ray,' he said suggestively. 'The nurse told me they have a room down the hall with a double bed.'

'Is that right?' she laughed, knowing where this was going.

'Yep – I guess it's so old married types don't feel quite so alone while they're convalescing.' Winking, he said, 'Well, darlin', I know we're not married – _yet _- but they're checkin' to see whether it's available. And if it is, I thought we could make a reservation.'

With all this talk of getting into bed together, Deacon could feel himself perking up. Maybe he wasn't as tired as he'd thought he was.

For Rayna's part, even with the bruises on his face and torso, she thought Deacon was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. And sexy. And _arousing_. Despite the pain in her ribs, Rayna wanted him - badly.

Reading her mind, he said slyly, 'How'd you like to share a bed with me tonight?'

She was sorely tempted but she knew it was impossible: it would only lead to more recriminations when Deacon learned what happened that night.

She sighed and looked at her hands. When she looked up at him, he saw that her eyes were swimming with tears. She just couldn't let this go on… him thinking that everything was normal between them, her knowing it was only because he didn't remember.

'Deacon, that sounds perfect but … I think I should stay in my own room tonight,' she said, voice quavering.

'What? Why?' Deacon was bewildered.

_What the hell just happened?_

Rayna got up from her wheelchair and hobbled over to his bed.

_'_Did the doctor tell you something's wrong – is that why you need to stay by yourself?'

'No - it's just…there's something I need to tell you.'

She looked at him anxiously, trying to remain calm.

'The truth is, babe, if you remembered what happened before the accident, you wouldn't be asking me to share your bed. You'd be kicking my ass across the street.'

'What are you talking about, Ray?' he said, perplexed. He'd been trying all day to remember the night of the accident but there was nothing – it was all a blank.

_What is she talking about?_ _What could she possibly mean?_

He racked his brain. Then it hit him.

_Liam. She'd been with Liam._

Furious, he spat, 'Did you sleep with Liam? Is that it?'

'No! It's nothing like that! Deacon, please – I would never do that. I love you too much. Listen, there's something I need to tell you, but I… need to wait until you've recovered.'

Observing the pain in his eyes, she could see how much she was hurting him, but there was nothing she could do. The longer she pretended everything was normal, the more duped he would feel when he found out what had actually happened.

She sighed and said, softly, as gently as she could, 'I think we should keep our distance until then.'

Deacon was stunned.

'Ray, I don't like this one bit. You're scaring the hell out of me,' he said, anger flaring, his voice breaking.

'Trust me, Deacon. Please. I just want you to get better. Then we can talk. You need to concentrate on getting well.'

Reaching into the bed, she clasped both his hands in hers. 'We both do. And when I explain you'll understand.'

She looked at him pleadingly, trying desperately to get him to understand that she was trying to do what was best for him but she could see by the expression on his face that all he could feel was rejection.

'Ray, I don't understand. What are you trying to tell me? I want you to stay with me. I need you,' he said helplessly.

Leaning over the bedrail, she gathered him into her arms as best she could, wincing at the pain in her chest. Kissing his tears, she said, 'Oh God, I need you too…but I know what will happen if we share the same bed,' she said sadly. 'And as much as I want that to happen, as much as I want you, Deacon, I can't accept the invitation until you know what happened the night of the accident. And then … if … if you still want me … I will happily sleep with you every night for the rest of my life.'

Now he was livid. **_If _**_I still want her?_ _What in the hell does that mean?!_

'So that's it? I'm just supposed to sit here for days wondering what the hell happened? That's great, Ray. Just great. Thanks a bunch. When are you gonna tell me? Should we synchronize our watches?'

Seeing his reaction, she knew she'd made the right decision. His fury would make it easier to put some distance between them. Besides, she would rather deal with his rage than his heartbreak.

'When you're discharged,' she answered firmly. 'Call me the day you get out and I'll meet you in the park. And Deacon, I hope you know that you are the love of my life. No matter what happens, _you are_.'

With that she turned her back on him and hobbled out of the room. It was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

Deacon lay there, stunned.

_What just happened? What is she talking about? _

He knew one thing – he sure as hell wasn't gonna wait another minute to find out. He was too weak to follow Rayna down the hall so he would have to get the truth some other way.

Coleman.


	9. Chapter 9

When Coleman's cell phone rang, Audrey suggested he let it go to voice mail. Actually, it wasn't so much a suggestion as a command; she'd spent the last two hours preparing a late dinner and she wanted to enjoy it with her husband. Coleman was just about to switch the phone to vibrate when he saw Deacon's name flashing on the caller ID display.

'It's Deacon,' Coleman said to his wife. 'I gotta get this – it'll just take a minute.'

Audrey sighed. She supposed she'd let her husband off the hook this time; after all, the man had just awakened from a coma.

'Deacon!' Coleman boomed when he answered the call. 'I knew you'd have a bunch of visitors tonight so I was planning to come by tomorrow. How are you, man?'

'Not good, Cole. Not good.'

Deacon's voice was weak but agitated.

'What's wrong?'

'I can't get any answers. I can't remember what happened the night of the accident and Rayna won't tell me.'

'Deacon, you should be resting. You need to take care of yourself and not worry -' he started, but Deacon cut him off.

'The last thing I remember is getting ready to go get Rayna for the CMA Awards. The next thing I know I'm waking up in this hospital. I need to know what happened in between.'

Coleman hesitated. 'You and Rayna were in a car accident, Deacon. That's what happened.'

'I get that, Cole. I figured as much when I woke up picking pieces of taillight out of my head,' he said caustically. 'Rayna won't tell me anything – she's trying to protect me from something but dammit Cole, I don't need babysitting. I need to know what happened. Will you tell me?'

'Deacon, I know you're upset. You shouldn't be alone - is Rayna there with you?'

'No, Cole, that's the problem: Rayna _isn't_ here with me. She left me high and dry right before I called you. She's down the hall but she won't to talk to me. She said she wants to tell me something about the accident but she won't do it until we're both discharged - something about not wanting to jeopardize my - quote - unquote – _recovery.'_ The word dripped venomously from Deacon's lips. 'Oh – and did you know we're having a baby? She tells me that and now she won't even talk to me. What kind of bullshit is that, Cole? Huh?'

Cole knew he should probably head straight for the hospital, but two things held him back: one, he felt guilty over the role he'd played in separating Rayna and Deacon in the first place, and two, he knew Deacon would go berserk when he learned about the events that had preceded the accident. What would he do if Deacon started pulling out his wires - call for sedation? He needed a plan to defuse the situation and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to come up with one during the 15 minute car ride to the hospital. He also needed to talk to Rayna - figure out what was going through her mind so that they would both be on the same page when Deacon learned the truth. Avoidance wasn't usually Coleman's style, but in this situation he felt it was his only option.

'Deacon, you shouldn't be alone. I'm calling your sister. Listen, I'll come see you tomorrow and I will tell you everything. Visiting hours start at 9:00. I will see you then. Now get some sleep.'

'Cole, there is no way I'll be able to get any sleep until I find out what's going on,' Deacon raged. 'If you don't want to tell me tonight, fine - I'm gonna call everyone in this damned town until I find someone who will. Goodnight.' Deacon ended the call and slammed the phone down, swearing.

Rubbing his head in frustration, Deacon scoured the list of contacts in his cell phone, trying to figure out which number to dial next.

_Who else would know what happened? _

_Who will tell me the truth and not some G-rated version of it? _

Scarlett and his sister were out.

_Bucky? No, too much of a soft touch. _

_Lamar? He'd know the story but there's no way he'd betray Rayna. _

_Who else? _

_Think, Deacon, think. _

And then it came to him.

_Juliette._

**9:45 PM TUESDAY**

When the phone rang, Juliette had just put her feet up and was about to rip the tab off a can of bean dip.

Answering it, she said, 'Hey Deacon – how you doing?'

'I've been better, Juliette. I'm wondering if you might be able to do me a favor.'

Hearing the agitation in his voice, she sat up straight and said quickly, 'Deacon, what's wrong? What happened?'

'That's just it, Juliette. I don't know what happened - before the accident. Rayna doesn't think I can handle the truth, so I'm asking you.'

Juliette was confused - when she'd left the hospital that afternoon, the two lovebirds were cooing at one another. _Guess that didn't last long._

She took a moment to consider her options. More than Rayna and Deacon were at stake here. Maddie had a huge part to play in this, and Juliette didn't want her getting hurt. She also knew that Deacon wouldn't rest until he'd gotten the story out of someone - for all she knew he'd be breaking down the doors of the hospital gift shop trying to get his hands on the tabloids. She decided she would tell Deacon what she could, and try to convince him that learning the other part of the story could wait. Maybe then he'd be able to get some rest.

'Deacon, I can tell you what happened the night of the crash, but there is one part of the story that is simply not mine to tell. Rayna's gonna have to fill you in on that one. That's my final offer. Take it or leave it.'

'I'll take it.'

'OK, be there in 20.'

Emily drove Juliette to the hospital. The cataclysmic events of the last few weeks had shown Juliette that she could count on her personal assistant in both good times and bad. Sometimes it even felt as if they were becoming friends; well, that Emily was becoming _her_ friend; truthfully, Juliette knew very little about how Emily spent her off hours, so at this point the friendship was decidedly one-sided.

When they arrived at the hospital, Juliette spoke to the clerk at the information desk. Getting into the hospital after visiting hours were over wasn't as difficult as she'd anticipated - especially for someone offering the right incentive. In this case, all Juliette had to do was promise the clerk two front-row tickets to the last Red Lips, White Lies show in Nashville.

Juliette told Emily she'd meet her back in the waiting room. She walked down the hall and took the elevator to the 4th floor. Then she made her way to Deacon's room. No one challenged her for being there after hours. _Great security,_ she thought. _Hope Rayna's got her door locked. _As she passed Rayna's room, she saw the lights were off. She was glad because it meant she could resist the urge to go in and ask permission for what she was about to do.

She knocked softly on Deacon's door, swung it open and stepped in. Deacon was sitting up in bed with the TV on and the sound off.

He greeted his visitor with a smile of gratitude. 'Hi Juliette. Really appreciate you comin' by.'

'How are you feeling? You in a lot of pain?'

'Nah, they got me fixed up pretty good.'

'Did you tell 'em you're a recovering alcoholic? 'Cause you gotta be careful with the pain meds – you don't want to end up back where you started.'

He'd had a long chat with one of the doctors about the risks associated with using opioids for pain management. He didn't want to relapse. The doctor had assured him that acute pain decreases the pleasurable qualities of opioids, but if Deacon was worried, there were medications that could minimize the risk. He added that stress associated with unrelieved pain was more likely to be a trigger for relapse anyway, so he recommended controlled doses of opioids at regular intervals with a gradual tapering off before discharge. That way, there would be no withdrawal.

Deacon gave an abridged version of the conversation to Juliette, who nodded.

'So…' she said slowly. 'You want to know what happened.'

'I do, I do,' he said, suddenly remembering what she herself had been through these last few weeks.

'Listen, Juliette, with everything else that's been going on, I haven't had a chance to ask how you're doing since your mama…' he felt a little self-conscious about the fact that he hadn't been there for her right after Jolene passed.

'I'm doing okay,' she allowed. 'Ups and downs – mostly downs.' She smiled. 'You been keeping me busy the last few days, so that's helped.'

'Yeah. Thanks for that – for being here. My sister tells me you took charge of my flowers. I appreciate it. Really.' He paused. 'Look - I can't remember past the afternoon of the CMA Awards; did you have the funeral yet?'

'Yeah, it was a nice service.' She looked down. 'Small, but nice...' Juliette trailed off. 'She would have liked it. I had a memorial for her that night at the Bluebird too.'

Deacon sat for a moment, considering everything that had happened. Poor Jolene; that scumbag Dante had ruined her; the same way he'd almost ruined Juliette.

'You did? That must have been tough. I'm real sorry, Juliette. If there's anything I can do…'

'Thanks, Deacon. Appreciate it.'

Switching gears, he spoke hesitantly. 'Was I at the funeral?'

'No, but Rayna was, so…'

'So.'

Juliette leaned forward and clapped her hands on her knees. 'OK, Deacon, are you ready? Are you really ready? 'Cause, you know, you can't go claiming afterwards that you weren't really ready,' she said trying to lighten the mood. 'That's just not the way these things work.'

'I get it, Juliette,' he said, smiling nervously. 'I'm ready. Hit me with it.'

'OK. The short story is, the night of the accident you came to the Bluebird for my mama's memorial. You left in the middle of my song (thank you very much, by the way). Rayna followed you outside.' Juliette hesitated, then plowed on. 'She - she saw you were drunk so she grabbed your car keys and shoved your butt over to the passenger side. She was driving you home when the accident happened. That's it.'

Deacon was stunned. 'I – what? I was _drunk_? What – why?'

'That's the part you'll need to ask Rayna about.'

'Fine – take me down the hall.'

'Deacon, it's late. Can't you just resume this dust-up tomorrow? She's probably asleep, and that's what you should be doing too.'

'I won't be able to sleep until I find out what happened.'

'Then you may as well forget about it until the morning because you sure as hell won't be falling asleep then.'

Deacon was suddenly exhausted. The knowledge that he'd been drinking, that 13 years of sobriety was out the window, left him desolate. All the fight went out of him and he found himself agreeing with Juliette. What did one more night matter?

After Juliette left, Deacon lay there, trying to put thoughts of the last few hours out of his mind. The pain from his injuries was back. He needed to sleep so he pressed the call button.

After the nurse had gone, he lay there for an hour, waiting and thinking. He finally fell asleep at around 12:30.

His dreams were dark and angry, convulsing with images of breaking glass and sounds of sirens wailing. As the night wore on, he dreamt of Maddie. That she'd shown up on his doorstep alone on the night of the CMA Awards. That she asked if he was her father. That Rayna told him he was.

He woke with a jolt, his heart hammering in his chest. _That was some dream_, he thought, opening his eyes briefly before letting fatigue drag him back down into slumber. He slept fitfully. This time his dreams were of Rayna – of arguing and hollering while she drove. He saw an open bottle of Jim Beam.

At 7:30, he woke for good, the dreams he'd had licking at the edges of his consciousness. It occurred to him that maybe those weren't just dreams; maybe they were memories flooding back to him. Then he knew it was true because in an instant he remembered everything. He felt like he'd been sucker punched. He blinked hard, looked up at the ceiling and felt the floor beneath him give way. Then the darkness swallowed him up and he burst into tears.

_How could she do it? How could she keep it from me?_

He remembered what she'd said after he confronted her backstage at the CMA Awards. The reasons she'd given him for lying. Despite what she'd said, it just didn't make any sense. Yes, he'd been unstable when she was pregnant – he remembered that much from those lonely months - but since then, he'd been sober for more than a decade. She had no right to keep it from him!

He felt a toxic cocktail of grief and rage. He wanted a drink.

When the nurse came in she found him crying, hunched over in bed. She asked him what was wrong, but all he could manage was that he was okay – he'd just remembered something was all.

Then he asked if any AA meetings were held at the hospital. He needed one quick.


	10. Chapter 10

**9:00 AM WEDNESDAY**

Deacon's first visitor that day was his sister. He hadn't seen her in almost a year. Between her job and his schedule, there just hadn't been time. She'd wanted to come by last night, but he'd told her that he wasn't up for visitors yet. Truthfully, he'd had only a finite amount of energy and he had wanted to spend it on Rayna. Of course, that was _before_ she had walked out on him.

He thought his sister looked tired. Truth be told, Beth looked better than she had in days. For the first night in nearly a week, she'd gotten some sleep. Though her eyes were still a bit bloodshot she was walking on air, suffused with gratitude. Somehow, against all odds, the universe had seen fit to deliver her baby brother from harm. True, there would be the fallout from the accident and the news about her newly discovered niece to contend with, but that was nothing Deacon couldn't handle - she hoped.

The spring in her step faltered when she looked at his face. He'd been crying.

'Deacon, what's wrong? Are you in pain? Let me call the nurse.'

'No Beth, that's not it.' He stilled the hand that was reaching for the call button and looked at her miserably. 'You don't need to get the nurse.'

'What is it?' she asked, though she already knew the answer.

'She lied to me, Beth,' he whispered.

Stalling for time, she said, 'Who? Rayna?' She was hoping to drag the reveal out as long as possible.

He looked at her. 'Did you know?'

'Know what?' she asked guardedly.

'That I have a daughter,' he said simply.

_Well, there's no turning back now,_ she thought. Before she answered his question however, she needed to know how he'd discovered the truth.

'Did you get your memory back?'

'Yeah - this morning.'

Beth sighed. 'No, I didn't know. Not 'til Scarlett told me the night of the accident.'

Deacon looked at her questioningly.

'The night of the accident, Maddie wanted to see you. But the doctor told her that only family was allowed in intensive care. She said she should be allowed to visit because …well, she's your daughter. That's how Scarlett found out.'

Beth put her hand on one of her brother's. 'I met Maddie a couple of times. I saw her when she came to see you … and Rayna.' At the mention of Rayna's name, Deacon scowled. Ignoring the look on his face, Beth added, 'She's lovely, Deacon. She's got your eyes and your smile.'

'Yeah, she's just about perfect. I just wish I'd known she was mine,' he said disconsolately.

'I know, honey. I can't imagine how hard this must have been on you – finding out after all these years...' With that some of the rage Deacon felt came back.

But Beth wasn't done talking. 'Deacon…listen to me. Don't dig up snakes just to have to kill them. What's past is past. You have to figure out how you're going to move forward.'

He cut their visit short after that.

Luckily for him, the AA meeting started in 15 minutes.

The meeting helped him focus, but its usefulness was limited since he was, as usual, unable to spill his guts. Despite assurances of confidentiality, he knew most of the folks at these meetings were living paycheck-to-paycheck, and the reward for selling him out may well be too much to resist. Still, it was good to be in the company of other people who were struggling, whose grip on sobriety was every bit as tenuous as his.

After the meeting, Juliette came by. She took one look at the expression on his face and said, 'Oh, no. You talked to Rayna, didn't you? What'd you do - break into her room?'

'No, I remembered what happened. This morning.'

'Good – well I guess that saved you from a knock-down drag out fight with her then.'

He didn't smile.

'Look, Deacon, I know you're pissed, but you got to consider it from Rayna's point of view.'

'Why? She didn't consider it from mine.'

'Because it wasn't about either of you. It was about Maddie. I'm sorry to say this but it seems like Rayna's the only one who was thinking of her.'

'What are you talking about? I love Maddie. I've always loved her. I just wish I'd known she was mine. I can't believe Rayna didn't tell me,' he muttered to himself.

'Deacon, have you ever been around an addict? I mean, I know you've _been_ one, but have you ever been _around_ one?'

'No, but I know – '

'No, you don't know, Deacon.' She cut him off, shaking her head and sighing audibly. 'You _don't_ know. You know what it's like from the inside but you don't know the first thing about what it's like on the outside, trying be the one to hold it all together while everything falls apart.'

She got up and began pacing around the room. She felt like shaking her fists at him to get him to wake up. How could he be so dense?

'Deacon, I'm gonna tell you what it's like.'

He shook his head. He didn't want to hear it but she ignored him.

'It's comin' home from school to find your mama passed out on the couch.' She stood in front of him, hands on her hips. 'It's crawlin' over to smell her breath before she wakes up so you can figure out what to make for dinner: if she's sober you can go ahead and make that tuna casserole you were plannin', but if she's drunk you may as well have cold cereal because it's gonna end up on the floor anyway and cereal's easier to clean up.'

She stopped and looked at him. Seeing the discomfort on his face, she knew she had to go on; she had to make him understand what things could have been like for Maddie if Rayna hadn't made that choice.

'It's thinkin' it must be your fault the person you love can't stop drinking.' She looked at him sorrowfully, her eyes moist. 'It's thinking that if you were good enough, they wouldn't need to drink to forget.'

Deacon stared at her, transfixed. When he and Rayna were still together, before he'd lost her the first time, Rayna had told him some of what Juliette was describing, but somehow, hearing it from Juliette's perspective was different. Juliette was the child of an addict and it had nearly destroyed her life. She knew what she was talking about. He looked down at his hands as she continued.

'It's crawlin' around the house on your hands and knees looking for hidden bottles of vodka because you overheard your aunt say that if your mama had one more drop to drink it would kill her.'

She pulled her chair over to him, sat down and spoke gently. 'Deacon, I don't know why Rayna did what she did, but I can guess. If what happened to you the other night is any indication, alcohol turns you mean and ugly and she did not want your daughter growing up around that, blaming herself. It's as simple as that.'

Chastened by her speech, Deacon looked at Juliette soberly. 'I can see that Juliette,' he said hoarsely. 'I don't blame her for not telling me when I just got out of rehab – I don't. But I've been sober for over a decade. What more could I have done to prove that she could trust me?' he said bitterly. 'She just didn't think I could handle it.'

'Well, I guess maybe you proved her right, huh?'


	11. Chapter 11

_Note about the song in this chapter: It's a poem by the French poet, Arthur Rimbaud. The English translation is by Paul Schmidt. I thought the lyrics dovetail nicely with the way I imagine Deacon feels about Rayna. To hear it set to music (though it has more piano than guitar), you can listen to Rene Caron's beautiful rendition here: _

_httpCOLONBACKSLASHBACKSLASHrecoveringmysticDOTband campDOTcom/track/what-nina-said_

_Thanks for reading, everyone!_

**One month later**

It was the third Thursday night of the month and Deacon was playing at the Bluebird. It felt good to be back. His injuries had mainly healed though he felt sore when he twisted in the wrong direction.

He'd talked to Rayna twice since they'd been discharged from the hospital. The first time, he'd told her he'd remembered everything, so they could cancel their date at the park. When she'd tried to take the conversation further, he cut her off. He told her he needed time and that he'd call her. That was a bit too open-ended for her, but she had no choice but to let him set the pace. The second time was when she called to invite him to an ultrasound appointment in a several weeks' time. He said he'd go, that he'd be there to support her and their baby, but that was it. When they hung up, Rayna had cried. Deacon hadn't felt much better.

Now, two weeks later, he was strumming his guitar and playing the intro to 'What Nina Said.' It was an old song, one he'd written for Rayna. He hadn't intended to play it, but someone from the audience requested it and he was too startled not to agree.

As his fingers lovingly glided across the guitar, he looked up and saw Rayna at the back of the bar. Their eyes met. Too late to conceal his pleasure at seeing her, all the joy in his heart was revealed in his smile. God, he had missed her. The first verse caught in his throat, so he had to begin again.

_Just the two of us will go_

_Through fresh and pleasant weather_

_In the cool glow_

_I'll take a bath _

_In your crazy laugh_

He could tell from the look in her eyes that she was remembering the Monday morning that he'd written it - over 15 years ago. They'd spent the whole weekend in bed, exploring every inch of each other's bodies again and again. As he'd watched her sleep, marveling at the softness of her skin, he'd picked up a pen and started to write.

_Beneath softness _

_Skin like snow_

_I'll whisper shameless things _

_That only you would know_

_We'll tumble down_

_Let grass stain your gown_

When she'd awakened 15 minutes later, he'd already finished the first and second verses. He extended his hand and suggested they watch the sun rise over Nashville together. Then they could make some breakfast.

_What Nina said_

_As I took her hand [and]_

_Said 'Walk with me -_

_The things we'll see_

_The morning birds are whistling'_

Rayna had mumbled something about needing kisses and coffee (in that order), before she could even consider getting out of bed. He'd obliged, cajoling her with kisses first. Then he went to make coffee. When he returned, she'd fallen asleep.

_It'd be like a fairy tale_

_You would faint _

_And I'd wake you from your spell_

_By bending trees_

_And silent breeze_

_What Nina said,_

_As I took her hand [and]_

_Said, 'Walk with me -_

_The things we'll see_

_The love struck woods are quivering'_

Looking at Rayna's sleeping form, Deacon had been overwhelmed with love for her - the tiny freckles on her back, the golden hair framing her face, and the delicate eyelashes fringing her closed eyes. She was as radiant as the sun.

_Dewdrops tremble_

_Bright buds blow_

_Everything opens_

_And all things glow_

_In spring and sun_

_Powdered gold and vermillion_

_What Nina said _

_As I took her hand [and]_

_Said, 'Walk with me -_

_The things we'll see_

_The wind will kiss us like a thief'_

He'd fallen asleep beside her. When they woke up it was 9:00; Deacon thought that gave them just enough time for another lovemaking session before her 9:30 meeting with a record exec, but Rayna had laughed and said what he'd used as the last lines.

_She said:_

_'What? _

_And be late for work?'_

Now, 15 years later, jolted back to reality at the laughter that greeted the end of the song, he scanned the audience looking for Rayna. She wasn't there. He was both sorry and relieved. He didn't know what their future held; he would be there for Maddie and the baby, but he hadn't quite figured out how that would work, practically speaking. Every time he thought of Rayna he felt a combination of longing and anger. He couldn't reconcile the two emotions.

Rayna knew where she stood on the subject, but she knew he needed more time. She had no choice but to give it to him.


	12. Chapter 12

**One month later.**

It was almost time for sound check. They were back out on the road, a couple of quick dates to finish up the 'Red Lips, White Lies' tour. Tonight they were in Los Angeles and three days later they would be back in Nashville for the final show.

Overcome by another wave of nausea, Rayna grabbed hold of Bucky, steadying herself until it passed. She would take the anti-nausea medication after sound check. If she took it any earlier it would knock her out.

This was her first show after the accident, and she was feeling a little unsteady on her feet. Morning sickness was hitting her hard with this pregnancy, only this time it seemed to last all day. She wasn't showing much – even though she was a little more than four months along, she could still fit into her rhinestone jeans. A slight bump was the only indication she was pregnant.

On the sidelines, Liam observed Rayna with concern. The first time he'd visited her, she'd been out of the hospital a week. Her peaked complexion aside, he thought she looked good. She wasn't showing yet, but he knew about the pregnancy. The news had gotten out after a hospital staffer accessed Rayna's medical records and sold her story to the highest bidder. Being a closet tabloid reader, Liam had devoured the details. He knew he wasn't going to get the full story any time soon from Rayna Jaymes; she was holding her cards pretty close to the vest these days.

For the last month, Liam and Rayna had been working together to finish her album. He was still smarting from the St. Lucia fiasco but they'd managed to put their differences aside – mainly because he was still under contract with Edgehill Records. In between writing, recording and cups of ginger tea, Rayna offered Liam the barest details about her life: she was pregnant, the baby was Deacon's and she and Deacon weren't talking.

Why they weren't talking, Rayna wouldn't say, but the tabloids had provided plenty of fodder on that subject. Liam guessed much of it was probably true. The rumor was that Maddie was Deacon's daughter and that Rayna had never told him.

Liam knew full well the depth of Rayna's attachment to Deacon, and his to her. He figured only a betrayal of the highest magnitude could be responsible for such a rift, and an issue like Maddie's paternity fit the bill.

The kids at school had been mainly sympathetic to Maddie, who seemed to be coping well. She had been having regular visits with Deacon, who was enjoying getting to know his daughter.

Some of the trips had been just the two of them - like when they'd spent a couple of hours at Cotton Music looking a acoustic guitars. Other visits had involved Daphne - trips to Sweet CeCe's in particular where the youngest Conrad daughter indulged her passion for Blueberry Muffin flavored frozen yogurt. That first visit, Daphne had grinned as she offered Deacon a spoonful of her favorite treat. He'd thanked her politely but declined, proclaiming that ice cream should not be blue. He'd stick with Rootbeer Freeze, thank you very much, a flavor Maddie had talked him into trying.

In L.A., Liam and Juliette watched Rayna as she talked to Bucky.

'Are you sure she's ready for this?' Liam asked his companion.

'Honey, Rayna Jaymes is a pro. She knows what she can handle. She says she's ready to come back out, so she'll pull it together in time.' Noticing just then that Rayna was looking a little green around the gills, Juliette lassoed a passing assistant, saying, 'Oops – better get that bucket. She looks like she's gonna barf.'

Laughing, Liam observed Juliette. Her hair looked golden under the stage lights. Ordinarily he wasn't attracted to sparkly beauty queens, but the way Juliette took charge of things was interesting. All he knew was that he no longer held to his initial impression of Juliette: back then, he'd dismissed her as a country nobody, but that song she'd written with Deacon had revealed surprising depths. In spite of himself, Liam was intrigued.

Much like Rayna, Liam was trying to conceal the fact that he wasn't feeling well. He'd had a fever all day, and it was climbing. He was sweating profusely. His throat hurt and he just wanted to go to bed. He couldn't wait until this show was over.

He headed for the craft table; maybe some Sprite would help settle his stomach. As he popped open the can, he caught sight of Deacon on the other side of the stage. Deacon was watching Rayna, and Liam noticed Deacon's eyes were filled with a mixture of sadness and longing. When he realized he'd been spotted, Deacon adopted a neutral expression. The two men nodded curtly at each other and Liam wondered why Deacon was there; he didn't know Bucky had called Deacon the night before.

'Look, Deacon,' Bucky had said, 'I know you and Rayna aren't on friendly terms these days, but I'm worried about her. She's got morning sickness all the time and her energy's not good. She says she can make it through these last two shows but I'm not so sure. She hasn't said anything, but whenever your name comes up she looks sad and scared. She needs you. Will you come out here? Not to do the show – Liam's here – but to talk to her, support her?' He let the part about Liam drop casually but he guessed the effect it would have on Deacon. Actually, Bucky was counting on it.

'Buck, I know you care about Rayna, but the situation between her and me is complicated. I don't see how I could be of any help to her before the show. I'd just be a distraction.'

Ordinarily, Bucky wasn't one to mess around in Rayna's personal affairs, but he was worried about her. She seemed depressed and listless, and Bucky thought he knew why. Rayna wouldn't open up to Bucky – she was just too private. She wouldn't open up to Tandy these days either. Whatever was bothering her, Rayna seemed to think she had to handle it on her own.

It had now been two months since the accident. Bucky had hoped Rayna and Deacon would be back together by now, but then again, he knew how stubborn they could both be. Trying to engineer a connection between them right before a big show was a gamble, but he was hoping it would all work out. Maybe then Rayna would be able to put down the burden she'd been carrying.

'Deacon,' Bucky said impatiently. 'How long are you gonna wait? She needs you – she needs someone she can count on. And I'm sorry, buddy - but if you don't give her what she needs, she's gonna find someone who will. Are you prepared for that? Cause if you aren't you better do something about it. Quick.'

'Who are we talking about, Buck?'

'No one,' he said, though they both knew he was talking about Liam. Bucky knew there had been something between Liam and Rayna at one point, and now that they were back in each other's orbit, he thought something might happen again. Truthfully, he hadn't seen any evidence of it this time, but Deacon didn't need to know that.

'She's scared and alone, Deacon. She needs you. If you won't fly out, please call her - talk to her.'

'OK, I'll give it some thought. I'll let you know in an hour.'

Deacon thought about Bucky's proposal. He hated hearing Rayna was upset and unwell, so he figured maybe he could lay down his arms long enough to make sure she was okay. He wasn't at a point where he could forgive her; he'd spent all of the last two months trying to do that, but it hadn't worked. He sure missed her, though.

When Rayna saw Deacon across the stage, she grabbed on to Bucky again. Tandy had been the go-between for his visits with the girls, so Rayna hadn't seen him since that night in the hospital.

She saw his eyes sweep over her body and rest on her stomach. Then his eyes met hers and both their hearts started hammering wildy. In his she saw the love that had warmed her heart for more than two decades; in hers he saw relief and tenderness. She stood there, exultant, waiting for him to cross the stage and claim her. He walked toward her and their gaze held.

'How you doing, Ray?' he said softly, taking both her hands in his. She looked pale and exhausted. Deacon was glad Bucky had called him.

Rayna wasn't quite ready to show her exaltation; what if she was wrong about why he was there?

'Deacon, what are you doing here?' she said guardedly.

He didn't answer her. Though his eyes never left Rayna's face, he greeted his old friend.

'Buck, thanks for inviting me down.'

'Hey Deacon, how you been?' Bucky said sheepishly. Rayna looked at Bucky questioningly. 'We're just about to do sound check – I - uh … gotta go talk to the band but - you know, we can talk about that… other project later on.' With that, Bucky made himself scarce.

Deacon finally answered Rayna's question, 'I came to see you.'

Rayna almost cried with relief. She wanted to melt into his arms right then and there, until she saw something else had crept into his eyes, along with the tenderness he'd displayed when he first looked at her. Despite his concern, he hadn't forgiven her, and he hadn't come to make up.

'Ray, I know we haven't resolved anything but I care about you and I care about our baby, and I wanted to make sure you're both alright.' He looked at her searchingly. 'Are you? Are you sure it's a good idea to be doing this show tonight?'

'Deacon, I'm fine, just a little nauseous. Nothin' a little Gravol won't cure.'

She stepped away, trying to put some distance between them. Now that she knew he hadn't come to fix things, she wanted him gone. She didn't have the energy to deal with this crap tonight. Damn him for showing up and letting her think, just for a second, that he wanted her back. Now that she knew her mistake, all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry. But she couldn't do that. She had work to do.

She ignored Deacon for the rest of the afternoon. Bucky told her he'd invited Deacon to L.A. to get his professional opinion on a local guitar player. Rayna didn't buy it but she was feeling too lousy to challenge him on it.

After sound check, Rayna took some Gravol. Within half an hour she started to feel better. When they broke for dinner, she drank a protein smoothie and ate a banana. The show started soon after.

Rayna was back to her old self. The Gravol had worked its magic, and she was ready to give her Los Angeles fans the best Rayna Jaymes show they'd ever seen. Liam wasn't doing as well. As time went on, his fatigue grew. Every stomp of Rayna's high heels or beat of the drums made his stomach lurch in protest._ This flu is really kicking my ass_, he thought wearily. When 'Postcards from Mexico' started, he seriously thought he was going to black out. Rayna played to him, high kicks and all, but he barely responded. It took every ounce of strength he had not to throw up all over the stage. Rayna was worried; she could see the perspiration on his forehead and he looked awful, but somehow Liam made it through the first set. As they walked off stage to make way for Juliette's band, Rayna yelled, 'Thank you, L.A.!'. Deacon was there too, having watched the show from stage left. Rayna ignored him, focusing her attention on Liam.

'Liam, you okay?' she said with concern, feeling his forehead. He was burning up.

'I think I have the flu. I'll be fine; don't worry – just gonna get some Sprite.' He stumbled off to get it when Rayna stopped him.

'You're not going anywhere.' She patted one of the stools nearby. 'Sit. I'll get it. Rest here until it's time to go back up.'

'And take some of this,' she added, handing him the Gravol. 'It'll help your stomach.'

Deacon watched her go but Rayna couldn't risk returning his gaze. She had to focus on getting through this show, and that meant focusing on Liam. When she returned with the soda, Rayna popped open the can and handed it to Liam.

'Thanks,' he said, and started to get up. 'I gotta go talk to the band.'

Rayna pushed him back down on to the chair. He looked so haggard she was afraid he'd fall over before he made it back to where the band was.

'Stop trying to be a hero,' she laughed. 'They know what they're doing.' Without thinking, she brushed the hair back from Liam's forehead. She smiled at him and he smiled back, grateful. He sipped his drink.

Rayna wasn't deliberately trying to make Deacon jealous but she figured if he was, so be it. She was past caring. She was tired of waiting around, waiting for him to make up his mind. Besides, Liam had been a very good friend to Rayna these last few weeks. _Let someone take care of Liam for a change_, she thought.

Deacon's blood boiled. Even if he wasn't sure they could salvage their relationship, one thing he knew for sure was that he hated seeing Rayna's fingers in Liam's hair.

Without thinking, Deacon commanded, 'Liam, you go rest. I'll finish the show.'

Surprised, Rayna and Liam both turned to look at him. Then Rayna spoke, anger distorting her voice.

'Deacon, that's not your call to make.'

'I think it's a good idea,' Bucky put in.

'What? Are you y'all in cahoots?' Rayna looked between them, trying to figure out what was going on.

All Liam felt was gratitude. Finally, he could get some rest. And if the two lovebirds made up, so much the better because frankly, he was sick of it. He knew they would eventually find their way back to one another. Why couldn't they see it?

Getting up, swaying a little, Liam said, 'Rayna, if it's all the same to you, I'm gonna take Deacon up on his offer.' Turning to Deacon, he said, 'Thanks, man.'

'No problem,' Deacon said. He knew Rayna wasn't thrilled, but he also knew she didn't have much choice. He was operating instinctively. His feelings were in charge - not his intellect. For the first time in a few months, he and Rayna would be sharing the stage. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he also knew that's exactly where he wanted to be.


	13. Chapter 13

_Note: the song referenced in this chapter is by Nanci Griffith._

Before Liam's illness had upended all her plans, Rayna was going to use a song she and Liam had written together for her final solo of the night. It was upbeat and catchy, the perfect segue into her duet with Juliette. With Deacon onboard, the set list would have to be changed. After taking a moment to consider her options, she told the bandleader she wanted to do 'Still Water.' It was a song she and Deacon had written together. There was nothing too personal in it, nothing that could be misconstrued: it was just something to get them through the show.

She had ten minutes before she was due back onstage, so she decided to go to her dressing room for a touch-up. She took the long way around so she wouldn't have to pass Deacon in the hallway. As she walked she could hear the crowd roaring in approval as Juliette sang 'Telescope.' When Rayna got to her dressing room, she sat down in the chair so her make-up artist could re-apply her lipstick. She'd just gotten the lip-liner on when Rayna had an epiphany: _maybe the next song is a gift_ – _an opportunity not to be wasted_. She would soon have four or five minutes in which Deacon was a captive audience. Maybe she should sing something that would communicate what she needed to say - and what Deacon needed to hear. _Awesome._

Hastily excusing herself, Rayna leapt from the chair and exited the room at a run, hair flying. 'Still Water' would have to be scrapped; she needed to tell her bandleader she had a different song in mind. With so little time before they were due onstage, she didn't have the luxury of taking the long way around, so she was forced to squeeze past Deacon - literally. Electricity surged through her body as she felt his thigh brush against hers. He looked after her in wonder. _What's she up to?_

Luckily for her, the bandleader was unperturbed. Last minute changes weren't unprecedented in Rayna's shows; in fact, they were the norm. The changes often reflected her inner turmoil: depending on what was going on in her private life, Rayna would choose a song that allowed her to speak all the things circumstance (her marriage, usually) had forbidden her to say. For Rayna, performances were a catharsis, and this time was no exception. Rayna's bandleader knew her song changes were usually an attempt to work out her feelings for Deacon. The net effect was that sometimes Rayna wanted to sing Deacon's songs – ones he had written without her. Over the years, the bandleader had instituted a contingency plan to accommodate such changes: members of Rayna's band were required to learn not only all the songs in Rayna's catalogue, but in Deacon's as well. That way, they wouldn't be left scrambling at the last minute.

Five minutes later, the bandleader approached Deacon with the news. "Rayna doesn't want to do 'Still Water;' she wants to do 'Talk to Me While I'm Listening' instead." Without waiting for a reply, the bandleader left, leaving Deacon standing there, astonished. He couldn't believe his ears.

_Is she trying to kill me? _

He'd recorded the song for an album but could never bring himself to sing it in public. Doing so brought up emotions he'd fought too hard to suppress. Yet here she was, expecting him to accompany her while she sang it to 20,000 people. He'd never heard her sing it before – hell, he didn't even know she knew the words. He couldn't believe she'd chosen _that_ song. She knew what it meant to him. More than that, she knew what it would do to him. Even so, he didn't have time to talk her out of it. Instead he simply resigned himself to his fate: he knew he'd just have to sit there and take it while Rayna ripped his heart out again, this time in front of an audience.

He'd written the song about her. He'd written it because he'd had no choice. He was dying inside, and he had no place to put those emotions. He couldn't escape his feelings; he could only try to get them out. So he wrote, tears falling steadily on the scraps of paper on which he recorded his sorrow. At the time the song was written he was fresh out of rehab. He'd just discovered the woman he loved was about to marry another man. The force of his grief flowed through his pen, leaving indentations on the coffee table. Now, 14 years later, she was going to make him re-live that unbearable period in his life before a crowd of strangers.

For Rayna, the song was personal, too. The lyrics spoke of love and loss, regret and sorrow. They captured everything she was feeling tonight, and what she wanted to say.

It was time to mount the stairs to the stage. Though they climbed them together, she couldn't look at him. He couldn't look at her either. They took their seats opposite one another, stools a couple of feet apart. He knew they would have to look at one another during the song, but he wanted to avoid it as long as possible. If he didn't look, maybe he wouldn't feel. The spotlight fell on the two of them and the darkness receded. _Why do they have to shine the spotlight on me? _he thought uncomfortably. Now he wouldn't be able to hide his emotions - from her or the audience. He knew his face would reveal everything he was feeling. He felt trapped, unable to move. He wanted to bolt so badly it took every ounce of willpower he had to be still.

Looking out over the audience, she prepared to introduce the song. She wasn't brave enough yet to look at Deacon.

'This song was written by my partner and friend of more than 20 years, Deacon Claybourne. We're going through a hard time right now and sometimes it's just easier to say how you're feeling through a song. Thanks for letting me share it with y'all.' Quickly looking at Deacon she said, 'Deacon, this one's for you.' _Did she really just say that to 20,000 people?_

Then she looked down at her lap, trying to get her emotions under control. The band started playing the intro and Rayna began to sing the first verse. As she sang, she forced herself to look at him, willing him to listen - willing him to hear her. He couldn't meet her eyes but soon they both felt the audience fade away. Then it was just the two of them, alone onstage.

_I should have known that you were gone back in Germany  
You told me in the dark while I was sleeping  
Then you slept through the sunrise  
As it washed upon your face  
And all that I had heard were our hearts beating_

Her gaze burned into him and he forced himself to look at her. His breath caught and he was astounded to see the pain in her eyes. As Deacon watched, mesmerized, everything he felt for her - love, anger, tenderness, regret (mostly love) - surged to the surface. Muscle memory let his fingers skate over the guitar; he was so lost in the emotions evoked by the lyrics and her voice that he could hardly remember the chords.

_Talk to me while I'm listening now  
While this love has a voice that we both  
Can hear  
Before you let it go  
The greatest love I've ever known  
Won't you please  
Talk to me  
While I'm listening_

The tone in her voice was so desolate he nearly lost it. As she sang, the emotions of the past couple of months, of having him physically close to her yet emotionally so far away, welled up inside her and threatened to spill over. Finally, as she began the third verse, they did. Her voice became huskier, darker. Every person in the stadium could hear the anguish in her voice as she poured out all the feelings that were in her heart.

_I cannot find a place to put this love away  
Or lose the thought of sunlight on your face  
I thought I heard your voice  
Say I love you today  
But it was only the sound of my heart breaking_

As she sang that last line, he stumbled on the chords but only Rayna and the members of the band were aware of it. She had succeeded in melting all his defenses. He could feel just how much she was hurting; she was as lost and in pain as he was all those years ago. So was he.

_How I wish that I could take us back to Germany  
I would stay awake and you would talk to me  
Yet for every drop of rain I hear  
There's bound to fall another tear  
Upon this page of song of my heart aching_

_Before you let it go_  
_The greatest love I've ever known_  
_Won't you please_  
_Talk to me_  
_While I'm listening_  
_Talk to me_  
_Talk to me_

As Deacon and Rayna performed, Liam and Juliette watched spellbound from the edge of the stage. Liam may not have been well enough to play that night, but he sure as hell didn't want to miss the fireworks between those two. It was legendary and tonight, for the first time, he understood why. Juliette didn't know how they did it, but she literally felt like she was watching two people baring their souls to one another privately. _How do they do that? How do they make everyone around them disappear? _She felt for them – she really did. It was so obvious that they were two halves of the same whole, each of them desperate to heal and come together. Why couldn't they just forgive each other and move on?

As the song ended, Liam and Juliette looked at each other.

'Christ,' Liam said. 'That was intense. Now I feel kinda stupid,' he said, looking embarrassed.

'What - because you thought you had a chance with Rayna Jaymes?' Smiling self-consciously, Liam nodded.

'Don't feel bad, Liam. No man does - not unless his name is Deacon Claybourne.'

Back onstage, Deacon played the last chords. His face was wet with tears. As the music died out they continued to stare at one another. Out of the corner of her eye, Rayna noticed Bucky motioning for her to get off the stage but it was Deacon who finally broke their reverie. Getting up from the stool, he reached for her hand and they descended the stairs together. They didn't speak; they didn't have to. Rayna had ripped Deacon's heart out again, but he had received her message loud and clear. At that moment he came to a decision. He would talk to her. And he would listen to her. Even if it were only long enough to say goodbye.


	14. Chapter 14

The crowd went wild over 'Wrong Song'. It was brash and exuberant - a refreshing counterpoint to the melancholy of the previous song. The audience loved watching it and Rayna enjoyed performing it. It gave her a chance to shake off the sadness that had engulfed her. During the song, Rayna and Juliette played up to their lead guitarists, Avery doing his best to keep up with Juliette, and Deacon doing his best to avoid thinking about what lay ahead of him after the show. At the end of the song, the crowd roared and Rayna and Juliette headed off stage, blowing kisses. Avery and Deacon trailed behind.

Deacon stowed his guitar in its case, then walked over to where Rayna and Bucky were standing. Tapping Rayna on the shoulder, he said simply, 'Hey, Ray. You wanna go somewhere to talk?'

'How about the hotel?' she suggested. She didn't dare ask where he was staying that night. If it wasn't with her, she didn't want to know.

'Sounds good,' he said, taking her by the elbow. They said their goodbyes to Bucky and the band, and Rayna followed Deacon out the door to the limo. Bucky looked after them with concern. If Deacon's expression was any indication, the talk was not going to go the way Rayna wanted. Bucky hoped he was wrong.

Deacon and Rayna spoke little on the ride over. When they arrived at the hotel, they took the elevator to her penthouse suite.

Rayna kicked off her shoes when they got inside, and they stood facing each other. There was so much to say, but neither of them knew how or when to begin. Finally, Deacon broke the ice. 'That song surprised the hell out of me. I didn't even know you knew it.'

'I know all your songs, Deacon. I sing 'em sometimes when I want to feel close to you.' She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. 'Don't tell your lawyer because I don't want him hounding me for royalties.'

He smiled, and then sighed deeply._ I guess it's time._

'Ray,' he said gently. 'You know I love you but...I just don't think this is going to work.'

That was not what she'd been hoping to hear. She nodded, biting her lip, trying to hold back the tears. Devastated, she was about to plead with him to change his mind when all of a sudden her hurt gave way to anger. She found herself saying forcefully, gutturally, 'Why do you want to give up on us, Deacon? Why won't you even try?'

Deacon was surprised by the harshness of her voice. He hated having to tell her what he was about to say, but he knew he had no choice. 'I'm stuck, Rayna – I love you, but … I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you.'

Fed up, Rayna exclaimed, 'Deacon, the only way to get _unstuck_ is to _reach_. Reach out to _me_,' she said, grabbing his hand. 'Please - can't we just work through this together?'

He looked at her sorrowfully. 'I've been tryin', Ray, but I just can't get past it and I don't think I'll ever be able to.' He passed his hands over his eyes. Rayna didn't respond; she was too heartsick. Deacon, who could always read her like a book, knew exactly how she was feeling because he was feeling exactly the same way.

'Ray,' he breathed. 'Don't you know how much I hate this? After everything we've been through, for as long and as hard as I've loved you, do you really think I want to lose you?' he whispered, his voice breaking. He moved his hand slowly back and forth between their bodies. 'This?'

Eyes filled with pain and regret, he stared at her then shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He needed to choose his words carefully. What was it he wanted to say? Needed her to hear?

'Ever since I remembered what happened that night, all I've been trying to do is forgive you,' he said, eyes brimming with tears. He stared at her fiercely, blue eyes full of pain as he continued.

'But no matter how hard I try, or how many ways I try to spin it, it all comes down to one thing: I missed my daughter's childhood because you wanted to protect your marriage.'

He held her gaze, shaking his head slightly when it looked as if she might interrupt.

'I get why you didn't tell me when Maddie was a baby,' he said slowly, letting the admission hang in the air as he struggled to choose his words.

'As much as I hate to admit it, maybe I was too unstable.'

It hurt like hell to say that, but he wanted to be honest.

'I'd like to think I would have handled it, and that we could have been a family, but the truth is, I just don't know.'

He paused and she waited, knowing he had more to say. He looked at her fiercely.

'But you had no right to lie to me after I'd been sober for years, Rayna - _for over a decade_!' he said hoarsely, his emotions threatening to spill over. He fought to maintain his composure.

'Did it ever occur to you _once_, in all those years, to tell me that we had a child together?' he asked incredulously.

'Of course it did! Every day!' she cried raggedly.

'Well then, why the hell didn't you?' he spat.

She started to speak and he stopped her with a look, shaking his head sadly. 'Never mind. It doesn't matter. As much as I love you, as much as I want to forgive you,' he said slowly, 'I just can't.'

He struggled, the tears blurring his vision as he looked at her.

'I thought you loved me, Ray,' he said sadly, 'I thought we loved each other, but if you truly loved me, you wouldn't have been capable of keeping that secret.'

Rayna stood there, absorbing the weight of his words. As much as she needed him to listen to her, she knew she needed to listen to him. So she did. And within a few moments she was shocked to realize that he was right. Not about the loving him part, though she could see how he would think that. About keeping the secret to protect her marriage. She had begun the lie to protect Maddie, but she had kept it going to protect Teddy, who had always felt second best. Reflexively, she wanted to tell Deacon that he was wrong, that she did it to protect both he and Maddie, but she forced herself to be still, to let his words wash over her.

She stood there silently, struck dumb at the truth of his words. For the first time in thirteen years she allowed herself to view the secret through Deacon's eyes – something she had steadfastly refused to do lest it weaken her resolve. In the beginning she had done it because she felt she had no choice, but later, after he had been sober for years? Then she had kept the secret because it was easier. By the time she knew for sure that Maddie wasn't Teddy's child, there had been Daphne to consider, and it was easier to just let sleeping dogs lie.

What did it mean to love someone? She had always thought she'd known. First there had been the love for her parents and Tandy, but truthfully, loving them had never required her to put their interests ahead of her own. She had done that for her children, or at least she thought she had, but once Deacon had gotten – and remained – sober, could she honestly say that it would have harmed Maddie to know that Deacon was her father? No, she admitted to herself. Maddie could only have benefitted from Deacon's love and guidance in the intervening years.

Had she done it to protect Deacon? Perhaps at first…but later on? Deep down, she had always known that if Deacon ever discovered the truth, her marriage would be over. Yes, she had been afraid the effect the secret - once revealed - might have on his sobriety, but she had also known that without it there would be no barrier left to keep them apart.

For at least the last decade, Rayna had known with certainty that Deacon would have made a wonderful father. She'd also known that being a father to Maddie would have given him great joy, even if he had had to share her with Teddy. Knowing that, could Rayna honestly say she had lied to protect Deacon?

_Lied._ There was that word again. Deacon had used it more than once to describe what she'd done, but had it really been a lie? She'd never thought of it that way – at least, not until now. All along, she'd told herself she hadn't lied to him per se; she just hadn't told him everything. Over the years, she'd eased her conscience by telling herself that she would tell him the truth if he ever asked, but he never did.

As Deacon stared, waiting for her to respond, another thought bubbled to the surface. It was a thought she'd had intermittently over the last several years. When it would come up she would do her best to keep it down, but she hadn't always been successful. It usually crept up during those lonely hours back at the hotel, or after seeing Deacon with a new lover.

_It's all your fault_.

Truthfully, a part of her hated him for it. Why had he forced her to make this choice? She had done what was necessary to protect their child, but if it hadn't been for his drinking, they would have almost certainly have been together. Of course Daphne was worth everything she had gone through to get her, but she couldn't help wishing she'd been able to share her life with the only man she had ever loved completely - mind, body and soul.

The fact of the matter was, she blamed _him_.

Not just for making her do it, but for ignoring the truth that was right before his eyes.

In between the well-choreographed moments of her life, when her heart ached with loneliness and she desperately wanted Deacon beside her, she thought bitterly that if he refused to see (yes, she sometimes thought his blindness could only be deliberate), didn't recognize his own smile and his own eyes staring back at him in the face of their daughter, if he couldn't see that Maddie was him all over again, then _he didn't deserve to know_.

_I've always blamed him. _

She forced herself to acknowledge it, though she didn't say it out loud. With dawning clarity, Rayna realized that she had not been honest with herself at all, that in fact she had been willfully dishonest. As she looked at the devastated face of the man in front of her, this man who had loved her frankly beyond reason for most of her adult life, she wondered what she could possibly say to make it right.

_If the roles had been reversed, would I have been able to forgive him? _

_Probably not_, she thought.

She could only hope that Deacon Claybourne had more forgiveness in his heart.


	15. Chapter 15

Deacon watched the emotions play over Rayna's face – surprise, guilt, pain, understanding and finally, acceptance. Her eyes, which had never left his face, met his as she tentatively reached for his hand. He let her take it, but his hand hung limply as she held it. Softly, she clutched his fingers anyway, feeling the rough callouses against her palm. He didn't respond.

Rayna spoke softly, haltingly. 'Deacon… I'm so sorry.'

She looked at him, eyes filled with tears. That got to him, but not in the way it usually did. Ordinarily, he couldn't stand to see her cry, but at this moment, all he saw was an attempt to manipulate him.

_What does she have to cry about anyway? The fact that she's no longer in control? The fact that I'm not wrapped around her finger anymore? I'm the one who's been made a fool of,_ _the one who's missed 13 years of my daughter's life. What does she have to cry about? _

With renewed fury he started to pull his hand away, but she held on tightly. Impulsively, she grabbed his other hand.

'Deacon, please,' she pleaded. 'Will you hear me out?'

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He would listen because he had promised himself that he would. He said quietly, 'I'm not sure there's anything you can say that will make a difference, Ray, but alright.'

Gratefully, she took his hand and led him to the couch. He sat next to her, the warmth of her body against his making his resolve weaken. He sighed, shifting uncomfortably. Looking up, he forced himself to look into her eyes. In spite of his anger, he stared at her with equal parts trepidation and hope. Indeed, he couldn't ignore the small flame that burned brightly within him, the one that hoped she would say something, anything that would let him forgive her. More than anything else he wanted to lay down his arms and love her completely again. But the anger was always so close to the surface, and right now it threatened to overwhelm him.

'Deacon, you're right – what I did was wrong. I wasn't trying to hurt you, but I did. And I'm so sorry.' The tears came freely now, coursing down her cheeks.

His face was expressionless, his eyes cold as he looked at her.

'You already said that, Ray,' he said cruelly. 'You got anything else?'

She forced herself to continue. She knew she needed to acknowledge his pain, to prove to him that she knew what it meant to love honestly, no matter what it cost her. She owed him that. This man, who had been there for her more times than she could count, whom she loved with all her heart, deserved the truth.

'I told myself that I did it to protect you and Maddie, and that was true at first but it doesn't explain why I never told you after you got sober.' She didn't dare look at him, lest she see hatred burning in his eyes. His hand still rested in hers but she was prepared to grab it if he decided to bolt.

Uncertainly, she continued.

'I didn't know for sure that Maddie was yours until she was five. I suspected it of course, because so many things about her reminded me of you. But since I didn't know for sure, I told myself that was just wishful thinking. The truth is, I didn't want to know. That way I could assume she was Teddy's instead of torturing myself with what might have been.'

'When Daphne was born, you were on tour with that other band – what was their name?' He didn't answer. 'Anyway, I hired a nanny to look after Maddie, and one day she fell off a swing set at the park and cut her leg. It was bad, and it wouldn't stop bleeding, and she needed a blood transfusion. Teddy's blood type is A and mine is O, but when they tested Maddie, hers was B. Just like yours.'

She waited for that to sink in. When he made no reply, she continued. 'That's when I knew. So we did the paternity test after that, and it was confirmed. By then you were back from the tour and I wanted to tell you, even though you and I weren't really on speaking terms. I told Teddy I thought we should tell you and he went crazy, reminding me that on the day Maddie was born I'd promised him that we would raise Maddie as his child no matter what. Then he told me that if I told you the truth, he would divorce me, and sue for sole custody of both girls and get it because his name was on their birth certificates and Daddy was on his side. I think what scared him the most was that he knew that if you ever found out, I wouldn't have been able to stay away from you.

'Deacon, I knew you had the right to know, but I was scared. Scared of what it might do to you, scared of what it might mean for Maddie and Daphne. I was afraid of losing custody of the girls.' She exhaled slowly, choosing her words carefully.

'But if I'm honest, you're right. I put my needs and the fate of my marriage above your right to know you had a daughter. I didn't feel like I had a choice at the time, but looking back…I could have fought Teddy on it. I could have asked Daddy to side with me. I could have gotten a lawyer of my own. But I didn't. I didn't because I guess it was just easier to let it go.'

'Deacon, you know how I am - I've always been pretty good at compartmentalizing my feelings,' she continued, haltingly. 'I pretended my love for you and this huge secret existed on parallel planes. I pretended they weren't connected – that one had nothing to do with the other. But I see now that I was wrong.' She looked into his eyes, to see if he understood what she was saying but they were inscrutable.

'Honestly, Deacon, until just now, I never let myself see it through your eyes, to see that those two things were connected. If I had, I never would have been able to keep it from you!' She looked at him pleadingly, willing him to see that no matter what, she had always loved him, always needed him. She was desperate to see love reflected back at her from his blue eyes, but what she saw instead made her feel sick to her stomach.

He sat stunned, eyes narrowed, overwhelmed with fury. _She expects me to believe she never once thought of it from my point of view? She really does think I'm some kind of fool. God, I've spent the last 25 years loving a sociopath. _

He wanted to escape, to get out of there before he said all the things that were on the tip of his tongue. Things that would destroy her. But he had promised himself he would listen, so he forced himself to be still. He took a deep breath and looked at her in cold fury, daring her to continue. When she saw the look in his eyes, she was terrified that she had lost him forever. She willed herself to continue, knowing that if she had truly meant what she said, that if she wanted to do right by him, it meant confronting the past and owning her part in it. It was time she admitted her wrongs.

'I told myself it was better for you not to know, and that keeping it from you had nothing to do with my love for you. No, that's not it…'

She shook her head, trying to figure out what she was trying to express.

'I told myself I was keeping it from you _because _I loved you. Keeping you in the dark would keep you safe, keep Maddie and Daphne safe. I told myself that since you were part of Maddie's life, it wasn't so bad that you didn't know she was yours. But the truth is, I…' she paused, hating to say this most devastating truth out loud. 'I blamed you,' she whispered. She spoke so softly he could barely make it out. But he had heard her. 'For making me make that decision in the first place,' she continued. 'And maybe…if I'm honest, maybe not telling you was a little bit of payback.'

He inhaled sharply. That was not what he had expected her to say. He looked at her, stricken. She had no idea what he was thinking but she knew she had to keep going, to prove to him that she could be honest.

'You think me keeping that secret after you got sober means I didn't love you,' she said slowly. 'That I could never have kept that secret if I truly loved you. Well, maybe it means that I didn't really know what mature love is. That I'm selfish.' Again, she looked at him, her eyes imploring him to understand. 'Does that cancel out what I've felt for you all these years?' she mused out loud, not expecting an answer. 'Not to me – but only you can decide.'

She was ashamed, yes, but she was also relieved. She had finally admitted the truth to both of them. With everything out in the open, she allowed herself to feel the tiniest bit of hope that maybe they could begin to heal. No matter what their relationship may be going forward.

She looked at him fearfully, heart pounding in her chest as she waited for him to decide her fate.

Deacon was speechless. His emotions were all over the place as he tried to absorb what she had said. He didn't know what to say because he didn't know how he felt.

He had loved her with everything he had for most of the last 25 years. Did what she had just revealed to him change that? He didn't know. He knew he had spent the majority of the last 13 of those years trying to get her out of his system, but no matter how hard he tried, it had been impossible. Was it possible now, given all she had said? A part of him wanted to believe that it was, that he could finally break free, pick up the pieces of his broken heart and move on with his life without her. It occurred to him that he was unlikely ever to be truly happy without Rayna by his side, but he had half a mind to reject her out of spite.

The truth was, he wanted to hurt her. To devastate her as much as she had devastated him. He was still angry enough to want to do that. Then he remembered something Coleman had said in one of his voice mail messages in the weeks after the accident. Coleman had been instrumental in keeping Deacon in the dark about Maddie's paternity and once Deacon's memory had returned he'd refused to take Coleman's calls, but he did listen to his voice mail messages.

In one of them, Coleman had said, 'Picture yourself as an old man. When you look back on your life, how have you spent the last three decades? What have you done? Who have you spent it with? Figure out how you want it to look and work backwards.'

Deacon had been annoyed at the suggestion at the time, but frankly that was because Cole had suggested it. But he'd given it some thought that night as he lay in bed, strumming his guitar.

He'd spent the last 13 years dreaming of a life with the woman he loved, and even now, when he projected himself into the future, he was startled to see that dream hadn't changed. He imagined a life filled with music, Rayna, Maddie and Daphne, and the new baby. But did that mean he could forgive her for what she'd done? He didn't know. He needed to think. He didn't know what he could live with.

Rayna held her breath, waiting for him to speak. As the moments ticked by, her panic grew. _Was it really too late? Had they made it this far for nothing? _

He turned to face her, his eyes burning with love and anger, longing and regret. 'Ray,' he breathed. 'I just don't know.' He shook his head, looked at her grimly. 'What in the hell do you want from me?' he whispered hoarsely.

She guessed that he felt he had been made a fool of, that no matter how much he may want her, want their life together back, he was scared she would hurt him again. His fingers lay tense in her hand, but she stroked them gently, knowing what she had to say. With her other hand, she reached up to stroke his face. Electricity ran through him at her touch, and instinctively, he leaned into it, despite his reservations. When she brushed her lips against his cheek, the fire spread down his face. Whispering into his ear, breathing in his familiar scent, she poured all her love into her words.

'I want to start over. I want to be a family with you, the girls and the baby. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, showing you how much I love you. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up in your arms every morning. I love you, Deacon. I want to prove to you that you can trust me again. I want us to forgive each other. Please tell me we still have a chance, that we can work through this together.'

She was nuzzling his ear now, trying not to nibble it yet overwhelmed with desire at his closeness. Her breath soft and hot in his ear, he came to a decision. It didn't matter, any of it. He needed her. He pulled her onto his lap, pressing his mouth against her lips, hard. Their tongues met, starting a conflagration that consumed any vestiges of restraint.

Rocking against him, she felt him hard against her. Impatiently he set her to one side, stood up, and pulled off his jeans. He sat back down and gathered her roughly to him. The hem of her dress was around her waist, and he tugged impatiently at her panties, hooking two fingers inside the elastic and pulling them savagely down. She straddled him, but he had something else in mind.

Flipping her onto her back, he nudged her legs apart roughly and entered her. They moved together fiercely, angrily, coming explosively at the same time, half-finished words and phrases ricocheting off their lips. As he emptied himself within her, he felt some of his anger drain away. In its wake was everything else he had ever felt for her.


	16. Chapter 16

_Warning: this chapter contains explicit material. __I imagine R&D to have a particular approach to conflict resolution, one that is sexual in nature. A__nyone who finds this type of writing offensive should avert his or her eyes now. Thanks for reading, and please keep your comments coming! –KK_

**FRIDAY, 1:00 AM**

Afterwards, neither trusted themselves to speak; their feelings were too raw. They would let their bodies do the talking.

Deacon got up from the couch and carried Rayna to the bedroom, her legs wrapped around his waist. He tried disentangling them to lay her down on the bed but she clung to him stubbornly. Then, changing her mind, she shoved him away hard, pushing him on his back so she could straddle him. Then they made love again.

If the first time had been angry, this second time was explosive. Rayna felt like a firecracker on the 4th of July; Deacon lit the match with his tongue and then sat back to watch her burn. Every muscle, every cell in her body craved the release only he could give her. She rocked, grinding her pelvis against him again and again. His thrusts were short and brutal, bringing her to a crescendo of pleasure and pain. When she peaked, roman candles lit the sky and a sonic boom shook the ground. What she felt could only be described as rapture. She came down hard, collapsing on top of him, her head on his shoulder.

As she breathed heavily against his chest, he held her tightly, one hand on her hip, the other in her hair. His thirst for her was unquenchable; he needed more: now. So he grabbed the back of her head, lifted her face to his and kissed her savagely. The stubble of his beard left burn marks on her skin but she barely noticed the pain. All that mattered to her was getting as close to him as possible. It wasn't enough to feel him inside her; she wanted to be inside _him_. So she thrust her tongue down his throat, slaking her own thirst with the sweetness of his lips, teeth, tongue, and all the surfaces in between. He broke their kiss. His lips left her mouth and began their slow descent down her neck. He sucked hard, leaving marks they would discover in the morning. She pushed his head away. Then she sat up to finish what she'd started.

Slowly, languorously, she brought him closer to the edge as he watched her breasts - nipples darker and noticeably swollen from the baby - swing enticingly above him. When he got too close, she dialed it back, teasing him, moving her hips in ways she could only have learned from the devil. When she finally let him ride the wave into oblivion he pulled her down hard against him, trying to fuse with her as deeply as possible. She rolled off and lay beside him, panting.

He grabbed her hand and held it.

**FRIDAY, 2:30 AM**

He was almost unconscious when an accidental kick from a sleeping Rayna jerked him awake. She had one leg over his flank, an arm clutching him to her chest and her face buried in his back. He wanted to look at her, so he shifted his body as gently as he could until he was facing her, their foreheads touching. Undisturbed, she continued to sleep, breathing softly. Moonlight shone through the bedroom's floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminating her features.

_God, she's beautiful_, he thought.

Then, unbidden, _I can't believe she never told me._

Anger rising, he grabbed the back of her head and forced her mouth against his. Her eyes opened in surprise but she welcomed the kiss, parting her lips to let him explore her mouth with his tongue. Now more fully awake, she looked into his eyes and saw the anger. Suddenly, she was angry, too - not for waking her up but for being angry with her again. Pressing her lips against his so hard it hurt, she ran her nails lightly down his flank and outer thigh. He grabbed her hips and pulled her against him. Then they squared off again, eyes burning holes in each other.

_Who's going to win this round? _he thought.

Afterwards, Deacon's neck bore angry red scratches from her nails, carved into him as she urged him on. When it was over he lay on his side and pulled her close. For now, at least – most of his anger had dissipated, but what would he do when it came roaring back? He didn't know. He lay there quietly, stroking her swollen belly and kissing her softly as he gently nibbled her earlobe. As their breathing relaxed, Deacon heard Rayna's stomach rumbling. For the first time since they'd begun making love that evening, he spoke to her.

'You hungry, Ray? Or did you swallow a cat?"

She laughed and slapped the naked thigh he'd slung over her leg.

'I'm starvin' – I need to eat.'

She started to get up but he pulled her back down. 'Nope – tell me what you want and I'll get it. You stay here,' he said, 'and take care of our baby.' He started to get up and then she pulled _him_ back down. She pressed her mouth against his, kissing him deeply.

Forcing himself to break their kiss, he said, 'Ray, that's not gonna get you fed.'

'No, but I know something that will,' she said, and began kissing her way down his neck, his chest and his stomach. He groaned and let her continue. She was nearly past his belly button when she felt his hand on the back of her head. 'Ray,' he said, groaning in frustration. 'You got to stop. Let's get you something to eat first – something substantial.'

'Babe, I was just about to get something substantial when you told me to stop.'

He laughed. He was starving too. Between bouts of lovemaking they'd fed pieces of fruit to each other, hands shaking, but they'd expended too much energy for that to suffice. It was 3:30 AM. The hotel kitchen wouldn't be open for two hours.

He walked over to the basket of snacks provided by the hotel. 'Anything besides Snickers and potato chips in here?' he said. 'My girl needs real food.' Rayna smiled at the endearment.

'I think I saw a couple of granola bars in there,' she said.

'Well, then, I guess that'll have to do,' he said, plucking two bars from the basket.

He padded back over to her, as naked as the day he was born. She thought she had never seen a more beautiful man. They were both hot and sweaty, and would definitely need a shower when they got up for the day, but neither of them cared. Today was a travel day. They were heading back to Nashville on Juliette's plane and as long as they took a shower before they got on that plane, nobody would care.

Deacon tore the wrappers off both bars. She went to take one from him, but he stopped her with a look; he would feed her. He pulled a chunk off and put it gently in her mouth, his other hand stroking her hair. While she ate he stroked her cheek slowly, sensuously, making every nerve ending in her face come alive. As he gazed down at her naked body, her legs crossed, breasts and belly swollen, he could feel himself becoming excited again. As spent as he was, the idea that he had done that to her, that he'd made her belly swell with his child, was intensely erotic.

Mesmerized, and momentarily forgetting his own hunger, he handed her the rest of the bar and she popped it into her mouth. He fed too, suckling at her nipples, eliciting moans of pleasure from deep in her throat. Quickly finishing the rest of her bar, she lay back and he climbed on top of her, making love to her once more, this time slowly, reverently. They finally fell asleep, limbs tangled in one another's.

**FRIDAY, 9:00 AM**

The sunlight woke Rayna first, so she propped herself on one elbow, admiring Deacon's features as he slept. She loved him so much her heart literally ached.

Soon, his eyes fluttered open and he looked up into hers sleepily. Then he pulled her down for a long, sweet kiss. Morning breath had never bothered either one of them; they had always been too hungry for each other to notice. They kissed for a while, hands gently stroking one another's bodies. They were reluctant to leave the bed, afraid reality might sever the connection they'd forged in the night. But they had to be at the airport at noon, so they forced themselves to get up.

She walked around to his side of the bed, took his hand and led him to the double shower. They soaped each other down, washed each other's hair and, at Rayna's initiation, made love a 5th time. By now, she was so sore she walked like a jockey who had just finished the Kentucky Derby, but that didn't stop her from wanting him; part of her still didn't trust the fact that they were going to work through this together, and she craved the reassurance of having him inside her.

Their shower revealed the battle scars from the previous night: angry red welts, scratches, and bruising on her breasts. As they dried each other off, she inspected herself in the mirror. She was mortified to discover she had three huge hickeys – one on either side of her neck and another in front. 'Deacon, were you trying to mark me as your property?'

'Sorry, Ray,' he said sheepishly. 'Guess I got carried away. I'm feeling better about things now - won't happen again.'

'Well, I didn't pack a turtleneck,' she said, 'How am I gonna cover 'em up?'

'Just wear your hair down.' he said, laughing.

'That won't cover up the one in the front.'

'Don't you have make-up?'

'Yes, but that won't hide it completely.' She sighed, then glanced at Deacon, noticing the scratch marks on the back of his neck that would clearly be visible above his collar line. 'Oh well, I guess I left my mark on you, too.'

'_Marks_ – plural,' he said, smiling, pulling her in for a kiss. 'And I loved gettin' every one of them. Do you want to go downstairs or do you want me to bring the food back up?'

'I'll come with you. I wanna see what they have. Nothing sounds good right now but I'm starving.'

Still standing close, he whispered, 'How do you want to play this? I mean with Bucky, Juliette – they're gonna see the scratch marks and figure out what we were up to all night.'

'Well, I don't think we have much choice. Audience or not, I'm not gonna be able to keep my hands off you so I guess we'll just have to tell them we made up.'

'Does that mean I get to sit with you on the plane?' She nodded, then pulled him in for a hug. 'Alright then,' he said, caressing her face and kissing her deeply. 'Let's go face the music.'


	17. Chapter 17

Deacon led Rayna to the elevator. When they got inside, he pushed 'L.' She reached around him and pressed '7'.

'Why are we stopping on seven?' Deacon asked.

'I want to check on Liam – see if he needs anything,' Rayna said matter-of-factly.

Stepping behind Deacon, Rayna slid her arms around his waist and buried her face in his flannel shirt. She loved being so close to him. She loved the fact that as of 10:00 PM last night she no longer had to hide her affection. Unexpectedly her natural tendency to keep her private life private had vanished. In its place was the urge to shout from the rooftops that they were together, they loved each other and they were going to make this work.

Deacon leaned back into Rayna, happy to feel her arms around him. He was less happy about taking a detour to the 7th floor but as terrible as Liam had looked last night he figured it wouldn't hurt to make sure the guy hadn't expired overnight. Glancing down, he noticed that one of his shoelaces was coming untied.

That's when he noticed the carpet – silver snakes slithering in curlicues on a solid tan background. The snakes were subtle, so subtle you could hardly see them, but there was no mistaking their forked tongues and beady eyes. He thought now, as he had the first time he had seen that carpet (at another time and in another place), _Who puts snakes on a carpet?_The first time he'd seen that pattern had been on the floor of the green room in Nashville. He'd been waiting for Stacey and trying to get his emotions under control after witnessing Rayna and Liam practically copulating onstage during their rendition of 'Postcards from Mexico.' He'd stared at the floor so long the pattern had become imprinted on his memory.

Now here that carpet was again, reminding him of the way Liam had looked as if he wanted to devour Rayna, strip her naked and touch all her sensitive parts right there onstage. The way he'd pulled Rayna close and touched their foreheads together during _their_ song.

Suddenly, all the hard-won equanimity forged in the night evaporated and he was pissed. He couldn't say why. Maybe it was the concern Rayna showed Liam last night, getting his soda can for him and popping the lid. Maybe it was the look he had seen Liam give Rayna when she'd run her fingers through his hair.

All Deacon knew was that just the thought of Liam enraged him. Intellectually he knew he was being unreasonable, that he and Rayna had just spent the last 12 hours making love and renewing their commitment to one another. But Deacon was sure Liam was still interested in Rayna. He could see it in the way Liam always got just a little too close when he was talking to her, the way he tried to disguise his flirtation in playful banter. Hadn't Bucky practically told him on the phone the other day that Liam still wanted her? Did that mean Rayna was still interested in Liam? Deacon took a deep breath and tried to calm down. The events of last night would indicate she wasn't. Then why was he so pissed off? He didn't know but he couldn't contain it.

'You sure you want me along? Wouldn't want to get in your way.'

Rayna sighed, exasperated. 'Deacon, you know I love it when you're jealous,' she said, trying to cajole him into a smile as she leaned around him to stare up into his face. 'But you do know you have nothing to worry about, right?'

'I guess…' The car stopped and they got off and started walking towards Liam's room. 'I can't help it – it kills me to see you two together. Especially when you're singing our songs.'

'Babe, if you're too uncomfortable, go have breakfast. I'll see how he's doing and meet you downstairs.'

'Oh, no. I'm not leaving you alone together,' he said stubbornly. 'I'll wait in the hall.'

'Suit yourself,' Rayna said, taking his hand and caressing his palm with her fingers. They reached Liam's room and Deacon put his back to the wall while Rayna knocked.

They heard a hoarse 'Coming,' followed by stumbling, something crashing to the floor, cursing, a fit of coughing and then Liam opened the door. Clutching a blanket around his shoulders, his hair stuck out in tufts. His eyes were bright with fever and the skin beneath his scruffy beard was pallid. He was shivering.

'Rayna,' he croaked weakly.

'Liam!' She said, alarmed at how ghastly he looked. She reached out to feel his forehead. 'Have you taken anything for that fever?'

'Not lately - I ran out of Tylenol last night.' He coughed. 'I keep meaning to go get some but – well, I never can seem to make it out of here.' He propped himself against the wall for support.

'Liam, you've got to ask for help! You could have called any one of us.' Rayna scolded him.

'I know – I just didn't want to bother anyone…wait – ' he said, suddenly staring at her neck. 'What's that?' he asked, reaching out to touch it gingerly. 'Is that a _hickey_?' he said gleefully. Rayna slapped his hand away and automatically put her own hand to her throat. She and Deacon hadn't made it to the gift shop yet, where she had been hoping to find a scarf.

Before Rayna could respond, Deacon popped his head in the doorway.

'Yes,' he said firmly, then disappeared.

'Hey Deacon,' Liam called out. 'Nice to see you too.' Smirking, he put one hand on the doorjamb, placed another on her hip and pulled her close. Then he leaned in and whispered conspiratorially in her ear, 'Guess that song did the trick, eh?' he said, laughing, which brought on another coughing fit.

Deacon hated the way Liam was looking at her, as if Deacon wasn't there. As if they were at a party Deacon wasn't invited to. When Liam put his hand on Rayna's hip and whispered something into her ear, Deacon was suddenly furious with Rayna. The way she let Liam touch her, the way she let him get too close. The way she'd lied to him for 13 years.

Unaware of Deacon's musings, Rayna just rolled her eyes at Liam then pushed him back in the room and onto the bed. 'Shut up, Liam. I'll be back in 20 minutes with medicine, food and water. Bucky will send someone up to help you pack and take you to the airport. You just rest. And stop _laughing!'_

Overcome by a coughing fit, he raised his hands in mock surrender. 'Okay, okay. Don't blame me if the truth hurts. I'll see you guys at the airport.'

Deacon had had about all he could take. Poking his head inside the room again, he spied two granola bars and plucked them out of the basket.

Glaring at Liam, he said, 'You gonna eat these?

'No – you go ahead.'

'Thanks.'

Grabbing Rayna by the hand, he stalked to the elevator and handed her one of the granola bars.

'You better eat this – breakfast has been postponed.'

'Deacon, what's – '

He shook his head, silencing her. When they got in the elevator, he pressed 'PH.'

'Did you forget something? Is that why we're going back upstairs?'

'No, Rayna. _You _forgot something. And I'm gonna help you remember.'

'What are you talking about? I – '

When they got to her floor, she used her keycard to open the door. Following her inside, he kicked the door shut with his heel, and pushed her against the wall, running his fingers up and down her sides. Then he leaned in to kiss her. She tried to push him away, but he gripped her shoulders tightly.

'Deacon, is this about Liam? What the hell is going on?'

'I can't stand the way he flirts with you, Rayna. It eats me up inside.'

'Deacon. Stop!' she said, finally pushing him away. 'I love you, but you are acting all kinds of crazy right now. What has gotten into you?'

How could he explain it to Rayna when he didn't understand it himself? All he knew was that one minute he was looking forward to breakfast and the next he was ready to put his fist through the wall because he remembered Rayna had lied to him about Maddie.

He didn't know how long this was going to go on, pockets of happiness interspersed with rage - he just knew that last night had taught him he could leave the anger behind, if only temporarily, by losing himself in Rayna.

'I don't know – all I know is I need you. _Now_. You wanted me to reach for you? Well this is me, reaching for you.'

Caressing his cheeks with both hands she said quietly, 'OK, babe.' Then she led him to the bedroom. She drew him down onto the bed and they made love again. It was quick but therapeutic and when it was over, Deacon's head was clear. He looked at Rayna and apologized.

'I'm sorry, Ray – I don't know what to do with this anger.'

'Well, we gotta figure something out; otherwise I'm gonna be so sore I'll have to do the last show from a wheelchair,' she giggled.

They pulled on their clothes, left the room and took the elevator all the way down to the lobby. Then they visited the gift shop. Rayna hid in the shadows until Deacon came out with his purchases: Tylenol Flu, two bottles of water and a red, woolen scarf with the USC Trojans logo on it. Unfortunately it was 75 degrees outside. She wrapped it around her neck anyway and they headed for the restaurant.

Inside, Bucky, Juliette, Avery and Glenn were sharing a table and had just sat down with their plates. Juliette spotted Rayna and Deacon first.

'Well, would you look at what the cat dragged in?' Juliette said to no one in particular. Realizing they'd been spotted, Rayna and Deacon gave a quick wave and headed for the buffet. Bucky and Glenn looked at each other.

Suddenly Juliette didn't have quite enough fruit and cottage cheese on her plate so she stood up and walked over to where Rayna was studying the contents of the buffet.

'Mornin', Rayna. Nice scarf.'

'Thanks – got it for Maddie,' she said quickly.

Juliette peered at Rayna closely. 'Looks to me like you got it to cover up those love bites on your neck,' she said, smirking. Then she walked over to where Deacon was putting bacon and eggs on his plate.

'Mornin' Deacon. Didn't know you were booked into this hotel.'

'Mornin', Juliette,' he said, grabbing two pancakes and placing them on his plate. 'I'm not.'

'I see,' she said pointedly. 'Guess you're someone's very special guest then?'

'You could say that, Darlin'.

'Is that why you look like you just tangled with a polecat?' she asked, eyeballing the marks on his neck. 'Looks like you shoulda bought two of those scarves,' she said loudly enough for Rayna to hear. Rayna rolled her eyes at Deacon.

'Juliette, did you come over here to give me a hard time or fill your plate?' Deacon asked, smiling.

'Both,' she said, laughing, then walked back to her seat.

Rayna and Deacon joined the group at the table. Aside from looking like she'd been up all night, Bucky saw a kind of peace in Rayna's eyes he hadn't seen in a while. Studying Deacon, who also looked exhausted, he saw contentment tinged with something else he couldn't identify. Regardless, Bucky was relieved to see things had gone Rayna's way at last.

'Morning, y'all,' Rayna said brightly. 'Everyone ready to go back home?'

'Yep,' Glenn said; 'Remember everybody - we head to the airport in an hour.'

Juliette said, 'Deacon, you coming with us or taking a commercial flight?'

'You got enough room on that jet for one more?' Deacon asked.

'We'll make room – if we don't have enough seats you can sit on somebody's lap,' Juliette said pointedly, looking at Rayna. Rayna rolled her eyes.

'The jet seats eight, so with you, me, Rayna,' Glenn started counting on his fingers, '…Juliette, Bucky, Avery and Liam that makes 7. I think we're covered.'

'Great – thanks, Juliette. Appreciate it.' Deacon said.

'No problem,' Juliette smiled. As much as she enjoyed teasing Rayna and Deacon, Deacon could tell Juliette was happy for them. He squeezed Rayna's hand under the table.

Rayna and Deacon tucked into their food. Rayna was ravenous and suddenly everything on her plate looked delicious. She was eating so fast Deacon half expected sparks to start flying off her knife and fork.

The table was silent as everyone ate. Juliette broke the silence. 'Anyone checked on Liam?' she asked unexpectedly, looking down at her plate.

Rayna put down her fork and covered Deacon's hand with her own under the table.

'Yes – he's still sick; Buck, can you send someone up to help him pack and drive him to the airport? He also needs this medicine,' Rayna said, motioning to the bag on the chair next to her.

'I'll take it up,' Juliette said.

Looking at Juliette in surprise, Rayna said, 'Since when did you and Liam become friends?'

'Well, we've spent a lot of time commiseratin' these last couple weeks,' Juliette said, as if that explained everything. She felt her face grow hot.

_Did she just blush?_ Rayna thought.

Juliette shrugged defiantly. 'Becoming friends was bound to happen,' she said. Then she picked up her fork.


	18. Chapter 18

Juliette took possession of the bag for Liam along with crackers, Sprite and some chicken noodle soup she badgered the restaurant into making available early. A PA would help Liam pack and get him to the airport on time.

As they all filed out of the restaurant, Rayna told Deacon she wanted a word with Bucky. They were in a hurry so Deacon offered to go back to her room to start packing her things. She kissed him on the cheek in thanks, and then went to find Bucky.

Spotting him near the elevator she called, 'Hey Buck, wait up.' He turned and watched as she ran towards him, surprised when she pulled him into a bear hug and kissed his cheek.

'Thank you,' she said, staring at him with gratitude, her eyes getting moist.

'For what?' he said, though he already knew.

'Deacon,' she smiled, wiping her eyes. 'I know what you did, and I can't tell you how much it means to me having him here. You did that and I'm so grateful. Thank you.'

'I couldn't stand to see you hurting, Rayna,' Bucky said truthfully. 'I wanted to do something to help you - help you both get out of this tailspin. I'm just glad it worked out.' Then he remembered seeing something in Deacon's eyes. 'It did work out, didn't it?'

'I think so, Buck. We're gonna try to put the wheels back on this thing and we're going to do it together. We've still got a lot to work through but I'm optimistic.'

'I'm glad, Rayna. Now maybe you can settle down and relax after we finish the tour.' He looked at her warmly. 'How's the nausea this morning?'

'Not too bad, Buck – better than it's been in weeks. I just feel so much better about everything this morning. The sun is brighter, the colors crisper – it's just a beautiful day,' she laughed shyly, suddenly self-conscious.

'I'm glad.' He squeezed her hand. 'See you on the plane, Rayna.'

Rayna was overcome with happiness. Breakfast had done her good and she felt more energetic than she had in weeks. She was looking forward to getting back home to her daughters, this tour being over and getting ready for the baby. She practically skipped back to her room. An enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders and the future was so much brighter than it had been just the day before. It really was a perfect day. Which brought to mind one of her favorite Gershwin songs, 'Things are Looking Up.' She started humming it as she made her way back to her room.

When she got there, Deacon was packing her clothes into her case. Seeing he hadn't yet packed her iPod, she picked it up, scrolled to the Ella Fitzgerald version of the song she'd been humming and turned on the speaker. Pulling Deacon into her arms, she kissed him softly then jumped on the bed and began to sing along, using a hairbrush as a microphone.

_If I should suddenly start to sing__  
Or stand on my head or anything  
Don't think that I've lost my senses  
It's just that my happiness finally commences_

Deacon stopped packing to watch, smiling, happy to see her so happy.

_The long, long ages of dull despair__  
Are turning into thin air  
And it seems that suddenly I've  
…Become the happiest girl alive_

She hopped off the bed, grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around all the while, singing.

_Things are looking up__  
I've been looking the landscape over  
And it's covered with four-leaf clover  
Oh things are looking up  
Since love looked up at me_

They danced together, laughing and stumbling over each other's feet.

_Bitter was my cup  
But no more will I be the mourner  
For I've certainly turned the corner  
Oh things are looking up  
Since love looked up at me_

Then Deacon grabbed the hairbrush to sing the next verse, looking straight into her eyes.

_See the sunbeams__  
Every one beams  
Just because of you  
Love's in session  
And my depression  
Is unmistakably through  
Things are looking up  
It's a great little world we live in  
Oh I'm happy as a pup  
Since love looked up at me_

Deacon laughed and kissed her softly, saying 'You're sure in good mood. What brought this on?'

'You,' she said softly and snuggled into his flannel shirt once again.

##################

When Liam opened the door, he was both surprised and pleased to see Juliette. Suddenly he wished he'd been able to accomplish the goal he'd set an hour ago of getting into the shower.

'Hey Juliette,' he said self-consciously. 'How are you?'

'A whole lot better than you, it seems. You look like someone shot at and missed, shit at and hit,' she said drily.

Laughing, he said, 'Thanks.' Opening the door wider, he said, 'What can I do for you?'

'Eat this chicken noodle soup for one,' she said, handing him the container and a spoon. 'And here's some medicine.'

Touched, he said, 'Thank you. You didn't have to – '

'It wasn't all me – Rayna got you the medicine; I'm just responsible for the soup and the crackers.'

'Well thank you just the same,' he said, then backed up and sat down on the bed weakly. 'Do you want to come in?'

'I've got to finish packing but I'll stay for a minute.' She came in, closed the door and went round to sit on the other side of the bed. While he opened the box of Tylenol Flu, she cracked open a bottle of water and handed it to him. 'Someone will be up in a few minutes to help you pack and take you to the airport,' she said.

'Wow, thanks for the help. Sorry I'm such a mess. I haven't felt this shitty in a long time. I just hope it passes in time for the next show.'

'Yeah, well, if it doesn't, I'm sure Rayna can find someone to fill in.'

'I'm sure,' he chuckled. 'So you saw Rayna and Deacon? Looks like the two lovebirds finally patched things up - though I gotta say he looked like he wanted to kill me this morning.'

'He's just jealous of you is all. He can't stand the thought of Rayna liking another man.' She fiddled with the comforter on the bed. 'So…how you feelin' about Rayna these days? I mean, I know they're back together but you still have a crush on her, right?'

'You know, I did. But after seeing them play that song last night, it all kind of faded away. No one can compete with that kind of history and the truth is, I don't want to – anymore.'

'Oh, so you looking for a replacement crush?'

'I kinda already have one.'

Her heart fell. 'Really? Does she like you?'

'I'm not sure, but once I get this flu out of my system I'm definitely gonna find out.'

'Who is she?

'Well, I don't really want to say – not until I know for sure.'

'Do I know her?'

'Yeah, you do,' he said meaningfully, looking at her.

'Oh, okay then.' Juliette quickly ran through her internal address book. _Emily?_ 'Well, I hope it works out.' This was definitely her cue to leave. She got up and went to the door.

Sensing her dismay, he got up and stopped her, putting his hand on her shoulder. All sorts of sensations went through her at his touch, every one of them positive.

'Juliette,' he started, then paused._ Why am I so nervous?_ Forcing himself to go on, he continued tentatively. 'When we get back to Nashville, well, would you have dinner with me?' he said quickly. He searched her face, trying to gauge her reaction. Unfortunately, her expression was inscrutable.

'Shouldn't you be asking your crush out on a date?'

Liam laughed. 'That's what I'm doing.'

'Oh,' she said, suddenly at a loss for what to say. Did he mean what she thought he meant?

'Me?'

'Yeah,' he said, feeling suddenly embarrassed. 'Look I don't want to put you on the spot - I totally understand if you don't want to go out with me.' He couldn't tell if she was interested or not. Figuring that was a bad sign, he said quickly, 'Look, I shouldn't have asked. I'm sorry -' he said, trying to backpedal. _God, I've just humiliated myself again. What is the matter with me?_

Amused at his discomfort, Juliette watched him squirm. When she thought he'd had enough she decided to put him out of his misery.

'Sounds good, Liam. I'd like that.'

Surprised, he said incredulously, 'You would?'

'I would. See you on the plane.'


	19. Chapter 19

Deacon would not be separated from his guitar. If three people needed to travel by taxi he'd insist on calling two so his Gibson wouldn't have to ride in the trunk. It didn't matter whether they were in a hurry or whether the second cab got there 20 minutes later than the first - he wanted to be ready if inspiration struck. It had in the past; three of his most popular songs had been born in the back of a cab.

The Town car that took Rayna, Deacon and Bucky to the Santa Monica Airport only seated four. This meant Liam was relegated to a taxi but he was more grateful than anything else; going solo would spare him the tragicomedy of going head-to-head with Deacon over seat belts.

By the time everyone got packed and sorted, it was already 11:15 AM. It was only a 15-minute drive from the hotel to the airport but heavy traffic meant Juliette, Avery, and Glenn boarded the plane with only 7 minutes to spare. 'I hope the others took a different route,' Glenn fretted aloud. 'We can't push boarding time beyond 12:20.'

Avery and Glenn claimed two of the seats around the table in the back; Juliette stowed her paraphernalia in the luggage rack, and took a window seat up front.

At 12:10, Deacon, Rayna and Bucky arrived. Juliette motioned for Rayna and Deacon to take the two seats opposite her. They didn't have much choice since the others had already claimed the table in the back. Sliding into her leather seat, Rayna told Glenn that Liam was right behind them in a cab.

Liam appeared at 12:18, struggling up the steps of the plane with dark circles under his eyes. He had a bag in one hand and his guitar in the other. Juliette and Rayna quickly unbuckled their seatbelts, practically tripping over one another in their eagerness to help. Though inwardly thrilled that the two queens of country were fussing over him, Liam made a point of proclaiming loudly, 'Ladies, ladies – please – stop worrying, I'm fine.' He shook off their ministrations but allowed Juliette to take his bag from him.

Juliette tossed it to Rayna, inadvertently knocking her off balance in the process. Rayna fell backwards into Deacon who had come up from behind to give Rayna a hand. 'Watch it, Juliette!' Deacon roared as he and Rayna lost their footing and slid to the floor, Deacon holding Rayna protectively in his arms. 'Sorry,' Juliette apologized weakly, looking back over her shoulder.

When Liam saw Rayna and Deacon sprawled out on the floor he quickly put down his guitar and focused on Rayna. 'Are you alright?! Let me help you up!' Juliette, who was closer, rolled her eyes and extended her hand to Rayna who grudgingly took it. Once Rayna was upright Juliette picked up Liam's bag and threw it over Deacon's head into the luggage rack. 'Hey, watch the electronics!' Liam cried. Juliette ignored him but held out a hand to Deacon who shook his head and glared at her as he scrambled to his feet unaided.

Wholly focused on Rayna, Deacon blocked the aisle. 'Ray, you okay?' he said, concern in his voice. 'I'm fine,' she said shakily. In a low voice she whispered, 'Just remind me never to get between Juliette and the object of her desire.' Noticing he was rubbing his shoulder, she asked, 'Did you hurt your shoulder?' 'A bit,' he said, grimacing. 'Nothing to worry about.'

'Deacon, can you back it on up?' Juliette asked from behind. 'We gotta get to our seats.' He turned round to look at her incredulously. 'Juliette, you got some nerve – you could have hurt her! You do know she's having a baby, don't you?'

Juliette shrugged. 'Of course I know - is there anyone on Planet Earth who doesn't? Listen, there's no harm done – you caught her, didn't you?' she said, hands on her hips. Rattled by the concern Liam had shown for Rayna, she took the opportunity to add, 'Don't tell me you're worried about broken bones? I know this is a 'late in life' pregnancy but I'm pretty sure osteoporosis hasn't set in yet.' Laughing at her own joke, she looked up at Deacon defiantly.

Deacon started to unload on Juliette but Rayna put her hand on his arm to stop him, saying, 'Babe, don't bother - let's just get to our seats.' Grumbling, Deacon helped Rayna into hers and slid in next to her. Juliette directed Liam to the seat next to hers, which put Liam and Juliette directly across from Rayna and Deacon.

_This is gonna be a long ride if the only thing we have to do is glare at each another_, Rayna thought. She decided to overlook what had just happened and break the ice. 'How are you feeling, Liam? You look better.' Although he still looked like death warmed over, she was relieved to see a bit of his color had returned.

Liam looked at her gratefully, understanding what she was trying to do. 'Yeah, the food and Tylenol did the trick. Thanks for getting that for me,' he said sincerely, looking from Rayna to Juliette.

'You're welcome,' Rayna and Juliette said at the same time.

_This is awkward_, Rayna thought. She looked over at Deacon, whose expression was inscrutable. Still, she could see from the set of his jaw that he was pissed. _Should we try to switch places with Glenn or Avery?_ Rayna thought. _Maybe I can say Deacon and I have something to discuss with Bucky…_She was jolted out of her reverie by the sound of Deacon's voice.

'You ever think about playing triads when Avery's playing the big power chords during 'Wrong Song?' Deacon said to Liam. 'Might help differentiate the sound between the two guitars.'

_Is he actually trying to have a conversation with Liam?_ Rayna thought incredulously. _He's gonna get a reward for that tonight_. Then she realized they were on their way home, and they probably wouldn't be spending the night together. Or would they? Teddy was staying with Peggy tonight so she could have a night with the girls. _Would it be too awkward if he slept over? _She didn't want to take the chance of losing any of the momentum they'd built up overnight. _Does that make me a terrible mother?_

'You think we sound too much alike?' Liam was saying, looking at Deacon thoughtfully.

'Well, I didn't get a chance to hear you play last night, but I couldn't tell you guys apart during that concert you played in Wilmington,' Deacon said through gritted teeth. He was annoyed as hell at having to sit across from Liam (which didn't even begin to describe what he felt having to sit across from Juliette after the stunt she'd pulled) but dammit, he was trying. Using his teeth, he savagely tore open a packet of peanuts he found in the cup holder.

Liam took a moment to consider what Deacon was saying. The direction was hard to swallow but Liam respected Deacon's opinion as a musician - even if he was an ass.

'I'll give it some thought,' Liam said. He was about to say more when Juliette put a halt to their conversation. 'Boys, enough shop talk. We got a three and a half-hour plane ride ahead of us. What are we gonna do to pass the time?' she said brightly.

Liam and Rayna looked at each other, eyebrows raised. The exchange caught Deacon's attention but he tried not to let it get under his skin.

Juliette answered her own question. 'I say we play, 'Who do you love?'

Deacon practically choked on a peanut but Rayna saved the day. 'Nah, that's too much like musical chairs,' she said casually, as if she didn't mind the Pandora's Box they would open playing that game. 'Liam's too weak to fight people for their seats. How about if we let Liam rest for a while?' she suggested firmly.

Liam turned to face Juliette, his eyes twinkling. 'That does sound interesting, Juliette. I might be up for playing it after I rest for a bit.' He was tired but he had to admit he liked the sound of _that_ game. Rayna glared at him but that only increased his determination to play the game: he would enjoy seeing her – hell, all of them – squirm. Seeing the mirth in his eyes, Juliette acquiesced. 'OK, Liam, you're off the hook,' she smiled. 'Get some shut-eye and we'll play that game later.'

As the plane taxied down the runway, Liam closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. Juliette picked up a magazine and started leafing through it.

Across from her, Rayna was deep in thought. She wanted to ask Deacon about staying overnight but she didn't want Juliette to overhear. She pulled out her phone and punched in a text message. A few seconds later, Deacon, who had closed his eyes, was startled by the buzz of his phone. Fishing it out of his pocket, he read the text:

_Where you sleeping tonight?_

Smiling, he quickly typed his reply.

_In a bed?_

_Mine or yours? _Rayna wrote, trying not to look at him. She felt stupid having to resort to texting but she didn't want to arouse Juliette's suspicions.

Deacon chuckled and typed,_ Yours?_

Juliette watched them, annoyed. It was obvious they were texting each other. 'If you all want some privacy, why don't you just go on to the back of the plane?' she suggested, smiling sweetly.

'That's not a bad idea, Juliette,' he said, unbuckling his seat belt. He got up and held out his hand to Rayna. 'Want to come get some coffee with me?'

'Sure, babe,' Rayna answered, relieved at the prospect of having some privacy. She quickly undid her seatbelt and got up. 'Juliette, can I get you anything?' she said.

'No, thank you,' Juliette replied politely.

They passed Bucky, Glenn and Avery, who were deep in conversation. 'You guys want anything from the bar?' Rayna asked them. They all shook their heads.

Deacon and Rayna rounded the corner into the kitchenette. The hallway was open but the coffee station was hidden from view behind a post. Deacon took advantage of the obstructed view to hold his arms open wide, inviting Rayna to step into them. She did, burying her face in his shirt. When she looked up at him her eyes were filled with desire.


	20. Chapter 20

'You wantin' to get me in your bed, Rayna?' Deacon said in a low voice, equally captivated by the woman looking up at him, her eyes limpid pools through which he felt he could see her soul.

'I am,' she said truthfully. 'Do you think you could come over after the girls are asleep?'

Looking down at her, he was enchanted by the freckle on her cheek he had always found irresistible. Leaning in to kiss it he whispered, 'It'll be just like old times, then – only this time I'll be tryin' not to wake the girls instead of your daddy. Do I still have to sneak out before dawn?' He moved down to her neck, kissing it, before she could reply. Moaning, she said, 'Would you mind? Just until I can tell them we're together?' She ran her fingers through his hair, and then pressed her lips against his.

'Course not, darlin',' he said, breaking their kiss. 'I'd love to spend the night with you.' He resumed kissing her neck but she pushed him gently away, saying 'You're gettin' me all hot and bothered, Deacon Claybourne – you'd better stop or we're gonna be puttin' on a different kind of performance for all these people.'

'Have it your way, Ray,' he teased. Stepping back, he broke their embrace. _Oh no, I'm not letting you get away_, she thought, so she walked right back into his arms. 'You don't have to go so far away,' Rayna said. Chuckling, he stroked her back while she leaned into him, savouring the feel of having his arms around her. _There is no way I'm gonna be able to let him leave before dawn, _she she said out loud, 'You know what - I don't want to make you leave early. I'll tell the girls at dinner.'

Deacon looked down at her in surprise. 'Are you sure, Ray? Won't they think this is a bit sudden?'

'Sudden? What - me loving you?' she said, looking up at him. 'No. Daphne asks me all the time when you and I are getting back together. She says since Teddy has Peggy it's only fair that I have someone. And I think Maddie would be happy to see her biological parents together.' She said the last part quickly, hoping it wouldn't strike a nerve. It did, but Deacon chose to ignore it.

'So Daphne thinks you should have _someone _– doesn't have to be me, huh?' he chuckled, stroking her hair.

'It does have to be you - and she knows it. The other day she saw me crying over an old picture of you and me together,' she said, wincing at the memory. 'She asked me what was wrong and I couldn't hide it – I told her I was just missing you is all.' She stroked his cheek reverently. 'Then she asked why you and I couldn't just fix things,' Rayna related. 'She knows you're the only one who has my heart,' she said, kissing him softly.

Deacon hated hearing that Rayna had been hurting and that the girls were aware of it. Between kisses he said, 'Well then, that settles it. You still want me to come by after bedtime?'

'Why don't you come by for dinner? I'll mention it to them as soon as I get home. If something changes, I'll call you.'

'Dinner it is, then.' He kissed her one last time and reluctantly they returned to their seats. Liam was sleeping peacefully, his head resting on Juliette's shoulder, which she appeared not to mind. Rayna raised her eyebrows at Juliette and Juliette raised hers in return, noncommittal. Rayna settled herself against Deacon, who wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Still exhausted from the previous night, they both drifted off to sleep.

Juliette looked at them. She was happy for them (mostly) but their little cutesy routine was annoying. Deacon couldn't get enough of Rayna and it showed - in the way he buried his face in her hair and the way he held her close.

Juliette looked at Liam, who was breathing softly beside her. Did she like him because he liked her or did she like him for himself? She thought it was the latter. In the past couple of weeks they'd spent a lot of time commiserating together – mostly about Rayna but about music, too. He was witty in an obnoxious sort of way, and she thought he was a gifted musician. As she mentally compared the two guitar players she thought about how different the two men were: Deacon was sarcastic and prone to fits of pique whereas Liam's banter was nearly always good-natured. But the two men were alike in that neither of them took Juliette's crap, which made her respect each of them all the more.

Was that the only thing she liked about Liam? No, she also liked the fact that he was constantly surprising her. For instance, she had no idea he knew any of her material until he suggested Avery switch up the intro to 'I'm a girl.' He then confessed to owning her CD.

'I like to know the artists I'm touring with,' he'd said. But that didn't explain why he'd picked up two copies – one for his office and one for his car. What she didn't know was that he liked looking at Juliette's picture on the cover. The expression in her eyes was the one he'd come to associate with her: teasing and impertinent.

As they got to know each other Juliette found herself becoming more and more attracted to Liam. She liked his eyes, which sparkled with mischief most of the time. They hadn't discussed anything personal – she didn't know where he was from or what had led him to this tour, and he didn't know much beyond the fact that her upbringing had been tough and her mother had recently passed away. There was much to discover about each other and she was looking forward to it. She settled back and closed her eyes.

An hour later, they were all more or less awake. Observing the sleepy stares of the people around her, Juliette got her game face on.

'OK, y'all, time for that game. Who wants to start?'

Liam rubbed his eyes and peered around him in confusion. 'I'm still a little tired so I don't think I'm up for 'Who do you love?', Juliette. Got any other ideas?'

'Yes,' she said promptly. 'Let's play 'I love you because.'

A collective groan issued from the passengers around her but Juliette ignored their pleas. She'd already unearthed a plastic spinner and placed it on the table between them.

'I'll go first,' she said, giving the knob a spin. The arrow pointed at Rayna who raised her eyebrows expectantly at Juliette and waited.

Juliette hesitated, then said honestly, 'I love you because…you were there for me when my mama passed.' Rayna was touched. She smiled at Juliette and then reached over to squeeze her hand. Juliette smiled shyly in return. Now it was Rayna's turn. Groaning, she spun the arrow and it pointed at Liam. Liam gulped and Deacon rolled his eyes.

'I love you because…' Rayna picked up Deacon's hand but stared straight at Liam. 'You make me laugh,' she said to Liam, who chuckled.

It was Liam's turn. He spun and the arrow pointed at Juliette. Turning his head he looked at her thoughtfully. Tapping a finger against his he said, 'Hmmm…How can I pick just _one_ reason?' She felt her face grow hot as he stared at her, contemplating what he would say. 'I love you because your eyes sparkle when you laugh,' he said smiling flirtatiously as he tried to gauge her reaction. She smiled, satisfied with his answer.

It was Juliette's turn again. Deacon and Rayna hoped Juliette and Liam's arrows would keep pointing at each other so they wouldn't have to play but instead of Liam, Juliette's arrow pointed at Deacon.

_Oh boy,_ she thought, but she was prepared: she'd spent much of the last half hour coming up with her answers. 'I love you because…you inspire me,' she said nervously. The events of the last hour forgotten, Deacon smiled in return.

Then Deacon spun, praying the spinner wouldn't point at Liam. He breathed a sigh of relief when the arrow pointed at Juliette who waited expectantly while Deacon formulated his answer. He looked at her affectionately and said, 'I love you because you're a great songwriter.' She shook her head bashfully and Deacon said firmly, 'I mean it, Juliette - you are.' Juliette beamed and relaxed into her chair.

Deacon looked at Rayna. He could tell she was not thrilled with his answer. Luckily he'd already thought of what he would say to her if his spinner ever pointed at her.

'I've had enough turns for now,' Juliette said. 'Liam, why don't you go ahead and spin?' she said, hoping his arrow would land on Deacon or Rayna.

'Alrighty,' Liam said. 'If you insist.' He spun and the arrow pointed at Rayna. _Uh oh._ Trying to sidestep the landmine that was Deacon he said the only innocent thing he could think of. 'I love you because you bring me sodas when I'm sick.' Rayna laughed and spun the arrow. It pointed at Deacon.

Liam and Juliette nudged each other, exchanging amused glances. Rayna ignored them and looked directly at Deacon, whose heart was pounding wildly in his chest. 'I love you because when you look at me I forget how to breathe,' she said honestly. This was met with a mocking '_Awwwwwwwww' _from Liam and Juliette but Deacon just smiled into Rayna's eyes, picked up her hand and kissed it. When he spun the arrow it pointed to Rayna.

'Oh, here we go,' Juliette said loudly.

Ignoring her, Deacon looked into Rayna's eyes and said, 'I love you because you're my compass – my magnetic North. No matter what happens I will always come back to you.' Rayna's eyes filled with tears and she kissed him tenderly on the lips. Though the last thing she wanted to do was hurt Liam she simply couldn't help herself. All the barriers between them had been broken down the night before and she had no choice but to give in to her instincts - she was helpless to do anything else. For his part, Deacon wasn't crazy about kissing Rayna in front of an audience (particularly Juliette) but his emotions were too raw, the pain and happiness too fresh to do anything but meet Rayna's kiss with all the passion in his soul.

Across from them, Juliette and Liam looked on, astonished at the intensity of the kiss. They couldn't see any tongues, but it was way more than a peck on the lips. 'OK, break it up, people – break it up. This ain't no strip club,' Juliette teased. Breaking the kiss, Rayna looked somewhat sheepishly around her. As if waking from a dream, Deacon looked around him, startled to see the amused looks on Juliette and Liam's faces. Though it was now Rayna's turn, she said hoarsely. 'I'd like to take a break. Let's give someone else a chance to spin.'

'OK, I'll do it,' said Juliette. She spun and the arrow pointed at Liam. Pretending not to notice the heavy breathing of the pair opposite her she said simply to Liam, 'I love you because of the way you bite your lip when you think no one's watching you.' Liam's eyes were no longer on Rayna; they were on the captivating eyes of the woman next to him.


	21. Chapter 21

They would be back in Nashville in an hour.

Bucky read his Kindle, Glenn worked on his laptop and Avery strummed his guitar while Liam and Juliette argued over the state of country music. Liam opined that most of today's hits were mind-numbingly simplistic, while Juliette countered that he was just a snob who refused to give artists outside of his narrow sphere a chance. The only thing on which they could agree was that there was something wrong with a world in which a digital fart app and a song that cost $50,000 to produce cost the same amount of money on iTunes.

Deacon was scribbling notes and lyrics in his notebook. He didn't need his guitar this time - the music just flowed.

_Help me remember to forget  
The lies you told  
Help me forget the pain  
And remember I still love you so…_

Rayna couldn't see what Deacon was writing – only that he was scribbling and humming softly to himself. When she tried to help he said, 'Just a sec, Ray – I've almost got it,' and went back to humming again. It didn't matter – she wouldn't have been able to concentrate, anyway. Her own book had been open to the same page for 30 minutes. The words swam in front of her eyes and she was hit with a wave of nausea. Not the morning sickness kind but the kind borne of fear and anxiety.

Rayna replayed Deacon's words over and over in her mind. Although they had moved her at first she wondered if she'd misunderstood his intent. On the surface he seemed to say he would always be there for her but what he'd actually said was that he would always come back to her. Which would require him leaving her in the first place. Perhaps he wasn't as committed to her vision of their future as she'd thought? Was she being too literal, overanalyzing things or had he inadvertently revealed something he only knew subliminally? Whatever it was, the anxiety kept gnawing at her, and it made her ill.

Across from Rayna, Juliette's cell phone buzzed with a message from Emily. Juliette chortled as she read an article aloud to Deacon and Rayna.

'Listen up, you two - you guys made the front page of _People Country _online,' she sang. 'Listen to this:

_Is the turbulent romance between pregnant Queen of Country Rayna Jaymes and longtime lead guitarist (and rumored father of her children), Deacon Claybourne, back on? Tongues were wagging during a sold-out concert in Los Angeles last night…''_

Rayna broke in saying, 'Juliette, please. We really don't need to hear it.'

'I do – I wanna hear it,' Liam said gleefully. Rayna shot him a look but he just shrugged his shoulders and said, 'What? Don't you wanna hear what people thought of the show?' Rayna just glared at him.

'Come on Ray, let's go get something to drink,' Deacon said, unbuckling his seatbelt and taking Rayna by the hand. Before Juliette could read any more, Deacon and Rayna disappeared towards the back of the plane.

Turning to Liam, Juliette continued to read:

_'…after Jaymes suddenly replaced lead guitarist (and rumored flame) Liam McGuinniss with Claybourne for a duet with this shock intro: 'This song was written by my partner and friend of more than 20 years, Deacon Claybourne. We're going through a hard time right now and sometimes it's just easier to say how you're feeling through a song.' The song in question was none other than 'Talk to Me While I'm Listening,' a little known Claybourne classic with lyrics like 'Before you let it go – the greatest love I've ever known, won't you please talk to me while I'm listening…'Though allegedly estranged since the car accident in May that left both with serious injuries, the duo exited the stage hand-in-hand. Any guesses on what happened next?'_

'If they only knew,' Juliette laughed. 'I should send that reporter a picture of Rayna's hickeys.' She looked at Liam, waiting for him to join in her laughter.

He looked at her slyly. 'Aw, you're just jealous,' he said, ''Cause you weren't mentioned in the article.' Her mouth opened in mock outrage.

'I am not!' she said hotly. 'Well, you're just the 'rumored flame' – that's got to hurt.'

Liam chuckled. 'Nah – my name's in _People Country_ - I can't complain.' She swatted him with the magazine she'd been reading and he said, 'Hey – don't hit me too hard or I won't be able to take you to dinner.'

'I thought we weren't doing that until you felt better.'.

'Well, sitting next to you seems to have had a curative effect on me. I'm feeling better already,' he said. 'Want to have dinner tonight?'

She looked at him thoughtfully, weighing her options. 'Okay, just a quick one. I need my beauty sleep.'

'I've seen you after a sleepless night, Juliette. You couldn't look ugly if you tried.' She smiled, flattered, then started reading her magazine.

Back in the kitchenette, Deacon handed Rayna a cup of ginger tea. She'd said she was nauseous but her downcast expression suggested something more was bothering her. Since they were alone, he took this opportunity to ask.

'Is something bothering you? Besides the nausea?'

Damn, he always could read her like a book.

'Kind of,' she said. 'It's no big deal - we can talk about it later,' she said, hoping this would be the end of his questions. This was a conversation that required more privacy than an open hallway.

Frustrated, Deacon said, 'Ray, if we're gonna make this work I need you to be honest with me all the time - not just when it's convenient,' he said, more forcefully than he intended.

'_If _we're gonna make this work? Oh, so now it's a question?' she whispered furiously.

'What?' He didn't understand why she was suddenly angry with him but suddenly he was angry too. _We've been back together for less than 24 hours and she's already keeping things from me. _

'Are you in or are you out, Deacon?' she whispered fiercely, her eyes gleaming with unshed tears.

'Rayna, what are you talking about? Of course I'm in – why are you even asking me that question?'

'You said I'm your magnetic North – that you'd always come back to me,' she said, furiously wiping a tear from her cheek. 'But that would mean you'd have to walk away from me in the first place,' she whispered, looking up at him with trepidation. 'Is that what you want – is that what you meant when you said that?'

Suddenly he understood her anger. She was afraid he wasn't in this for keeps. His anger melted away as he looked at her. Shaking his head, he kissed the tears from her cheeks.

'Ray,' he said. 'Is that what's bothering you?' She nodded, looking up at him.

'I meant touring, being on the road - being away from home,' he said, brushing a stray lock of hair from her forehead. 'I will always come back to you because you're my home. You're where I belong,' he kissed her softly, whispering against her lips, 'And there is no place I'd rather be.'

'Really?' she said, kissing him happily.

'Really.'

########

Tandy was waiting for Rayna and Bucky when they touched down. Avery and Glenn emerged first, then Bucky who ran towards Tandy, sweeping her into a hug. Giggling, Tandy said, 'Guess you missed me as much as I missed you?' Bucky nodded and kissed her on the lips. 'Sure did, Sweetheart.'

'Where's Rayna?'

'Her purse spilled in the aisle so she's packing it up. She and Deacon will be right out.'

'Deacon?' Tandy looked at him in surprise, then with recognition. 'Oh, so your little scheme did the trick?'

'So it would seem,' he said, smiling and squeezing her hand. She looked at him expectantly. 'Well? Are they back together?'

'See for yourself,' he said, nodding in the direction of the plane from which Deacon had just emerged.

Tandy watched as Rayna followed Deacon down the steps, clutching his hand tightly. Her sister looked tired but happy. Catching sight of Tandy, Rayna flashed the biggest smile Tandy had seen in months. Tandy returned the smile, and then cocked her head at Deacon. _Well?_ Tandy asked silently. Rayna just shrugged her shoulders and beamed.

Deacon got to Tandy and Bucky first. 'Tandy,' Deacon said cordially.

'Hey, Deacon, how are you?' Tandy said.

'Good, good,' Deacon said bashfully. He didn't know how much Bucky had told Tandy but he figured it was probably enough to be embarrassed about. Tandy turned to her sister and hugged her.

'Hey, Tandy,' Rayna said. 'Thanks for picking us up - where are the girls?'

'Teddy and Peggy took them shopping – he's dropping them off in an hour.' Catching sight of Rayna's neck,' Tandy whispered, 'You'd better wrap that scarf a little more tightly unless you want Teddy asking some uncomfortable questions.' Rayna blushed.

Tandy realized her sister probably wanted to keep Deacon with her as long as possible so she offered, 'Can we drop you anywhere, Deacon?'

'I was just going to take a cab to my house – ' he started.

'Why don't we drop you off? Rayna interrupted.

'You sure you don't mind? That's three drop-offs,' he said shyly, shuffling his feet.

'Only two,' Tandy answered. 'Bucky's coming over to my house. Besides yours is on the way to Rayna's.'

'Okay, then. Thanks,' he said.

It was a 15 minute ride to Deacon's. When they got there, contractors were swarming in and out of the house.

'Having some work done?' Bucky asked.

'Yeah, the kitchen – it's a real pain. Should be done in a week or so,' he said, opening the door to get out. 'Thanks for the ride.'

'Babe, I'll call you in a half hour – let you know when to come over,' Rayna called after him.

'OK, talk to you then. See you later, Buck, Tandy.' Deacon hurried up the steps into his house.

When he was out of sight, Tandy turned to look at Rayna in the backseat. 'Spill, Rayna. I want to hear _all _of it,' she said.

Before Rayna could speak Bucky raised his hand in protest. 'Wait a minute – can't you wait until I'm out of earshot?'

'Don't worry, Buck – I'll spare you the details,' Rayna said. 'Tandy, I'll tell you all about it – later,' she said, eyeing Bucky.

'If Deacon's coming over tonight you won't have the chance,' Tandy said stubbornly. If Deacon and Rayna were back together she wanted to hear all about it – right down to the salacious details. Only then would she be able to gauge whether her sister was heading in the right direction.

Rayna sighed. 'Come by my dressing room before sound check tomorrow,' she offered.

'Okay,' Tandy conceded.

Bucky and Tandy helped Rayna into the house with her bags. Tandy offered to go get some groceries or do the laundry but Rayna knew her sister just wanted another opportunity to dig for information.

'Tandy – I'm fine,' she said firmly. 'Teddy said he stocked the fridge yesterday and we'll just order take-out tonight. As for laundry, I'll do it after this tour wraps tomorrow. You and Buck go enjoy yourselves. Bucky, I'll see you tomorrow at 10:00. Tandy, sound check is at 4:00 so come see me at 3:00 and we'll talk, okay?'

'OK, Rayna,' she said reluctantly and headed for the door. 'Tell the girls I said 'hi'.

'I will,' Rayna said, breathing a sigh of relief. She just wanted to be alone and think about everything that happened – and everything that would happen now that she and Deacon were back together.

As they left, Bucky shook his head, laughing. 'Well, that was subtle, Tandy.'

'What do you mean? She's my sister – I just want to make sure she's okay,' Tandy insisted.

'Uh huh, that's all it was, eh? Admit it – you just wanted another chance to interrogate her about Deacon,' he said, smiling.

'Well, I guess I'll have to settle for interrogating _you_ about him – _after_ I welcome you home properly,' she said.

'It's a deal,' he said, kissing her softly.

#####

'Is that a picture of Mom and Deacon?' Daphne asked, peering over Maddie's shoulder at her iPhone.

'Yes,' Maddie said, starting to read the article. She, Daphne and Teddy were waiting for Peggy to change her clothes, and then they were all heading over to the house.

'Read it out loud,' Daphne said eagerly.

Having read the first few sentences, Maddie tried to put Daphne off in deference to Teddy. 'It just says they sang a song together.'

Before Maddie could stop her, Daphne started reading aloud. 'Daphne, stop! Dad doesn't want to hear this,' Maddie said, snatching her phone back from her sister. 'I'll show it to you later.'

'Where's the article from?' Teddy asked. 'Is Daphne old enough to read it?'

_'People Country_,' Maddie said. 'There's nothing bad in it.'

Teddy wasn't thrilled hearing about his soon-to-be ex-wife's love life, but he'd resigned himself to it – they were all public figures and he knew it was inevitable his daughters would read articles about them.

'It's okay – go ahead,' Teddy said. Maddie reluctantly read the article aloud.

When she finished, she looked at Teddy, who looked uncomfortable. Peggy, 7-months pregnant, had overheard most of it so she walked over and put her arm around Teddy's waist.

'Are they back together?' she asked Teddy. 'I don't know,' he said, 'We'd better get going,' he said to the girls. 'Your mom's expecting us.'

Teddy dropped the girls off at the door. Peggy stayed in the car, for which Rayna was grateful. Teddy looked at Rayna searchingly. He was about to say something when Peggy honked the horn. After he left and the girls filled Rayna in on their last few days, she led them to the couch and sat down.

'Girls, Deacon came to see me in Los Angeles…'

'I know – we read about it,' Maddie said, showing Rayna her iPhone on which the _People Country_ article was displayed. She looked at Rayna questioningly. 'The article said you and Deacon left the stage holding hands. Are you back together?'

Rayna couldn't tell whether the news would please or upset Maddie but Daphne looked at her mother with excitement. 'Are you, Mom?!'

Unable to read Maddie, Rayna said simply, 'Yes.' She looked from one daughter to the other. 'How do y'all feel about that?'

'Yay!' Daphne said. 'Now you can be happy again!'

Maddie was conflicted. She was happy for her mother because she knew how sad she had been since she and Deacon had split up. On the other hand, Maddie had enjoyed having Deacon all to herself. Now she would have to share him with her mom. Then again, if they were a family, maybe she would get to spend even more time with him. In that case, she was happy about it.

'I'm glad, Mom,' Maddie said sincerely. 'It'll be nice to have him around more.'

Overjoyed, Rayna decided to ask them about tonight.

'He's having some work done on his house so I thought he could join us for dinner and stay in the guest room tonight,' she hesitated. 'But I won't if you'd prefer it to just be a girls night tonight. I really want to know how you feel, so please be honest.'

'Fine with me,' they both said at once.


	22. Chapter 22

On his way over, Deacon picked up the Chinese food Rayna had ordered. As he waited for someone to answer the door, he realized just how nervous he was. This was the beginning of the next chapter in his life and he was uneasy. What if the girls started to resent him? What if they didn't want him around? What if they thought he was trying to replace Teddy in their affections? None of those things had been an issue when he was just Maddie's biological father but now that he was about to become - in effect - the girls' stepfather, would they feel differently about him?

The door opened and Rayna flew into his arms. It had only been three hours but she was so happy to see him; after everything they had been through she never wanted to be apart from him again.

Laughing, he held her close and kissed the top of her head. 'That is the kind of welcome a man could get used to,' he said. Noticing the bag he was holding awkwardly she realized just how close she'd come to knocking their dinner on the ground. 'Sorry,' she murmured, and went to take it from him. 'Darlin', you never need to be sorry about kissin' me. Ever,' he said, kissing her lips one last time before following her into the house.

'The girls are just finishing up their homework,' she said, leading him down towards the kitchen. His heart clenched when he glimpsed the family photos in the hallway. In one, Maddie and Daphne were laughing and looking at Teddy. In another, a much younger Maddie sat on Teddy's lap, gazing up at him adoringly. He could feel the anger building again but he did his best to tamp it down. It would have to be dealt with, but not until he and Rayna were alone.

When they entered the kitchen Daphne and Maddie were sitting at a table hunched over their notebooks. Looking up, they saw Rayna holding a bag full of food and leading Deacon by the hand.

'Uncle Deacon!' Daphne said, dropping her pencil and running to give him a hug. He bent down and kissed her on the cheek, saying 'Hello darlin'.'

Maddie stayed seated and waited for Deacon to come to her. He did, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her in for a hug. Then he kissed the top of her head.

'How you doing, Sweetheart'?

'Good,' she said shyly. For some reason the start of her visits with Deacon were always a little awkward. It usually faded away after a few minutes, but not knowing what to call him was a continued source of anxiety. He was so much more than 'Uncle Deacon' now but she didn't want to betray Teddy by calling him 'Dad.' Consequently, she tried to avoid calling him anything at all. Deacon hadn't said anything about it but Maddie wondered if he felt as awkward as she did.

'Did you find out what you got on that math test you were worried about last week?' he asked Maddie, looking down at the notebook in which she was writing formulas.

'97' she said, smiling up at him.

'That's my girl,' he said proudly.

'_And_ she likes a boy,' Daphne said triumphantly.

'Daphne! I do not!' Maddie blushed. She would have to give her sister a serious talking to later.

'Do too.' Daphne turned to Deacon. 'His name is Dylan and he's in her class and he has the most _beautiful _eyes,' Daphne said in a singsong voice, pointing to her own eyes for dramatic effect.

'Daph!' Maddie exclaimed, blushing. _Uh oh_, Deacon thought. _It's started already – I've barely gotten used to the idea of being a father and now I have to worry about fighting off boys._

'What?' Daphne said to Maddie, feigning innocence. Leaning into Deacon she added, 'That's what I heard her tell Talia.'

Maddie stood up and went round to where Daphne was sitting. 'Daph, if you don't quit it, I'm gonna…' Maddie said menacingly, her fists clenched. She was mortified. _What would Deacon think?!_

'Girls, settle down,' Rayna interrupted. 'It's time for dinner.'

Maddie nudged Daphne as they headed for the dining room.

'What was that all about?' Rayna asked Deacon as they filed in.

'Did you know Maddie likes a boy?' Deacon whispered into Rayna's ear.

'What? Who?' Rayna exclaimed.

'His name is Dylan,' Deacon replied, 'And according to Daphne he has the most beautiful eyes…'

'Daphne!' Rayna interrupted. 'What's she got to do with it?'

'I'll tell you later,' he chuckled.

Rayna walked to her seat but Deacon stopped her before she could pull out her chair.

'Allow me, darlin'' he said, pulling it out and motioning for her to sit.

'Why thank you, Deacon,' she said, laughing up at him.

Daphne and Maddie were thrilled to see so Rayna happy. They'd been afraid they would never see her smile again. Looking at the amused faces of her daughters, Rayna started passing the food around.

'Are y'all through with your homework?' she asked.

'I have a couple more problems to do,' Maddie said. 'I'm kinda stuck.' Turning to Deacon, who was piling cashew chicken on a plate full of rice, she said shyly. 'Deacon, can you help? Mom's terrible at math.' Maddie mouthed a quick 'Sorry' to her mother who quickly retorted, 'Hey, I just haven't done it in a while is all.'

Turning to Deacon, Rayna said, 'I signed up for a course called 'Forgotten High School Math for Parents' but it hasn't started yet. Maybe you should come with me.' Rayna blew on a spoonful of Hot 'n' Sour soup to cool it and then said playfully to Maddie, 'Just you wait, Missy - I'll be caught up to you in no time.'

'Did you start high school without tellin' me?' Deacon said to Maddie, confused.

'It's an accelerated course,' Maddie explained, tucking into her own mountain of rice covered with shrimp in black bean sauce. 'You can take it as an elective if you score well enough on your tests.'

'I see,' he said, looking at her with admiration. He couldn't help feeling pride welling up in him. _His_ daughter had gotten a nearly perfect score on an accelerated math test. He'd always known she was smart but somehow knowing she was his made her successes that much sweeter. He didn't think he'd be able to be much help with her math but he would enjoy trying. 'It's been a while since I've done high school math, darlin' but I will do my best,' he said, smiling at her across the table.

'Thanks,' Maddie beamed.

Rayna turned to Daphne who was carefully separating pieces of broccoli from the beef on her plate. 'How about you, Daph' – did you finish your homework?' Rayna said.

'Almost – I have one more sentence to write,' she said, spearing a piece of broccoli.

'What you writin' about?' Deacon asked.

'It's something for my journal. We have to write a paragraph about our family. I wrote about Mom and Dad and Maddie and Peggy but now that you and Mom are back together I want to write something about you,' she said matter-of-factly.

Deacon was touched. Rayna squeezed his hand under the table.

Looking up from her plate, Daphne addressed Deacon and Rayna. 'Are you guys going to get married?'

Deacon choked on a cashew and Rayna nearly spit her soup across the table. Deacon looked at Rayna for help. _How do you want to play this?_ He said silently. Rayna shrugged and decided to answer honestly.

'Well, hon, we haven't really talked about that…' Rayna said, her heart hammering as she wondered what Deacon would say.

'…yet,' Deacon broke in, looking at Rayna who smiled at his reply.

'So you will be talking about it?' Maddie asked carefully.

'Oh, I can see that bein' a topic of conversation at some point,' Deacon said, looking meaningfully at Rayna. Thrilled, she squeezed his hand.

'Are you going to live with Aunt Tandy when the baby is born?' Daphne asked Deacon, knowing that Rayna was staying with Tandy when it wasn't her week with the girls. Rayna had put off finding a place of her own until she knew for sure the status of her relationship with Deacon.

'Well, darlin',' Deacon said to Daphne, 'I have my own place and part of the work I'm havin' done at the house is turning the spare bedroom into a nursery.' He looked at Rayna, eyes twinkling.

Rayna looked at him in surprise. _You are?_

Deacon nodded at Rayna's unasked question. 'In fact, later this week I was hopin' to get y'alls opinion on paint colors and stuff.'

'That sounds great – Peggy wouldn't let us choose anything when she decorated the spare bedroom,' Daphne reported. Peggy had chosen the room closest to Daphne's as a nursery and Daphne was clearly still irked at being left out of the color scheme decision.

'Is that right?' Deacon said. 'Well, I trust your opinion on these things more than mine so I'd appreciate it if you could help me out. In fact, I was thinking…' he said slowly to Daphne and Maddie, not daring to look at Rayna. 'Maybe your mama and the baby could stay with me instead of Aunt Tandy during the weeks she's not with you. What do you think, Ray?' He turned to her expectantly, hoping he knew her answer but anxious in case he was wrong.

Rayna's eyes filled with tears. She hated how emotional she was these days, but she knew that even if she weren't pregnant Deacon's wanting her to live with him would have had the same effect. She would like nothing more than to live with him. Tandy had been unbelievably generous these past few months, but Rayna's home was with him.

'I like that idea,' Rayna said, squeezing his hand and looking at him with eyes full of tenderness. He smiled and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.

'Well then, I guess that settles it,' Deacon said.

After dinner, Deacon helped the girls with their homework while Rayna tidied up. She was exhausted from the events of the last few days so when she was finished she stretched out on the bench seat in the kitchen and surveyed the scene in front of her. Noticing how tired Rayna looked, and that she was rubbing her stomach the way he'd seen her do it yesterday when she was queasy, Deacon excused himself and went to the kitchen. Within a few minutes he came back holding a cup of ginger tea in Rayna's favorite mug (or what had been her favorite mug 15 years ago). He'd caught sight of it in the back of her cupboard and couldn't believe she had kept it – let alone that it was still in one piece. He'd gotten it for her during some down time in South Carolina. She'd told him at the time that it fit perfectly in her hands and he'd replied that the mug wasn't the only thing that fit perfectly in her hands. Then he'd taken her to bed where she proved him right. Looking now at the scratches on the mug, he tried not to think about how much time had passed since that day.

Rayna knew its significance when he handed her the mug. She looked up at him with eyes full of love and longing. Now that they were all together – she, Deacon and the girls - she was suffused with happiness. For the first time in 13 years she didn't feel as if a part of her was missing.

After she and Maddie had finished their homework, Daphne showed Deacon where to put his bag. The guest room was elegantly styled with a queen-sized bed and floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the pool. Deacon was relieved he wouldn't be sleeping in Rayna's bedroom - he had no desire to sleep in a bed she'd shared with another man. Still, he did wonder if she'd come to him during the night. He hoped so. As he and Daphne headed back to the kitchen he quickly checked to make sure the door locked. He was pleased to discover it did.

While Daphne and Deacon were gone, Maddie asked Rayna a question that had been on her mind.

'Did you feel the same way about Dad as you do about Deacon?' Maddie had been dying to ask that question and now seemed like the perfect time. She had wanted to ask Rayna about it after the accident but she hadn't dared bring it up because whenever Deacon's name was mentioned Rayna got a sad, faraway look in her eyes. Maddie hadn't wanted to cause her mother any more pain but now that Rayna and Deacon were back together she knew the mention of Deacon's name would not have the same effect.

Surprised, Rayna said, 'Why do you ask?'

'Well,' she hesitated. 'It seems like you were more upset about breaking up with Deacon than you were about breaking up with Dad. I was just wondering if that's 'cause you love Deacon more.'

'Maddie,' Rayna said, considering how to respond. 'What you're asking is private but what I will tell you is that there are different types of romantic love.' Deciding that it was better to tell Maddie the truth (if only in broad brush strokes) Rayna added, 'And you're right - what I felt for Teddy was different than what I feel for Deacon. Where is this coming from?'

'It's just that … if you and Deacon break up, you'll be sad all over again.' Maddie said, looking at her mother and twisting her hair as she spoke.

'Honey, please don't twist your hair like that – it'll break. Listen,' she said firmly. 'I can't predict the future but I have no intention of breaking up with Deacon ever again. But if I do, I will survive. And no matter what happens between Deacon and I, you will always have your own relationship with him and that can never be broken.'

'I know,' she said softly.

They heard Daphne introducing Deacon to all the stuffed animals in her room so Maddie thought she had enough time to ask something else that had been on her mind.

'Did you still love Deacon while you were married to Dad?'

'Maddie, can you please tell me where this is coming from? Is something bothering you?'

'No, it's just – it seems like you wouldn't have married Dad if Deacon hadn't been an alcoholic.'

Rayna sighed, unsure of how honest she should be. Maddie was only 13, but she was a mature 13, and apparently she had already deduced that Rayna's feelings for Deacon were stronger than what she'd felt for Teddy. Rayna wouldn't have been as honest with Daphne, but she thought it was important for Maddie to know that she had been the product of a deep and abiding love. Rayna decided to be honest without giving too much away. 'You're right, Maddie – I probably wouldn't have. But that doesn't mean I didn't love Teddy.'

Daphne and Deacon came in just then. 'We'll talk about this later if you want,' Rayna said to Maddie, smoothing the hair from her forehead.

'Sorry – are we interrupting?' Deacon said. He'd only heard the last part of what Rayna had said but it was enough to make him sick. _Why is she telling Maddie she loved Teddy? God, I hate hearing that. _Once again the memory of losing Rayna and his daughter to another man made the bile rise in his throat and he fought to keep the anger in check.

Swallowing his feelings, he allowed Daphne to lead him to the family room. Maddie set up a board game on the coffee table and they all gathered around. Deacon and Rayna sat shoulder to shoulder while the girls sat cross-legged on the floor. They played for a while until Daphne's yawns indicated it was time for bed. Rayna went in to read with her while Deacon and Maddie sat by the fire. They didn't talk. He looked at her occasionally to see if she wanted him to break the silence but she seemed lost in her own thoughts and he didn't want to intrude. He figured she would say whatever was on her mind when she was ready.

After a while she did. 'So…you and mom are back together,' she said quietly. It was a statement rather than a question.

Deacon nodded. 'Yep, we are. How do you feel about that?' He noticed she was twirling her hair the same way Rayna did when she was nervous.

'I'm glad. Mom was really unhappy when you guys were apart.' But something in Maddie's expression belied her words: she didn't seem glad - she seemed worried.

'Sweetheart, is something bothering you? You can tell me, you know.' He turned toward her and looked at her fondly, inviting her to be open with him.

'Are you gonna start drinking again?' she blurted out.

Surprised, Deacon gaped at her. 'No, why?'

'It's just – I don't want Mom to be hurt again and I know she would be if you did.' She looked at Deacon nervously, unsure of what he would say. She didn't mention how hurt _she'd_ be if he started drinking again.

'Maddie, I can't guarantee that I will never hurt your mama again, but I promise you I am not gonna drink.' He meant it. In the last couple of months he had redoubled his commitment to his sobriety. He had to – he was a father now. The accident had been a painful reminder of the collateral damage his drinking could cause and he couldn't risk hurting all the people who depended on him ever again.

'OK,' Maddie said, relieved to get it out in the open. While they were slightly on the same subject she thought she'd ask the same question she had asked Rayna. 'I was just wondering…did you love my mom when she was married to Teddy?' (Maddie almost said 'Dad' but caught herself in time.)

'Darlin' I have always loved your mama and I always will. What's this about?'

'I'm just wondering…if you guys are gonna stay together this time. I mean… It would hurt a lot if we were a family … and then we weren't anymore,' she whispered, so quietly he could barely hear her.

Again, he looked at her in surprise. She was worried about becoming too attached to him; she didn't want to invest herself too much if he and Rayna were just going to split up again. For the first time he realized that in making a commitment to Rayna he was making a commitment to the girls as well. Was he all in? He thought about it and he knew the answer was 'yes'. No matter what happened, he and Rayna had to make it work. Leaving could no longer be an option. He needed Rayna to know that and he needed Maddie to know it too. 'Honey, I have no intention of ever being away from your mama again. I tried that once and it nearly killed me,' he smiled, pulling her in for a hug.

'No matter what?'

'No matter what.'

'Good,' she said, smiling up at him.


	23. Chapter 23

Rayna kissed Daphne goodnight and joined Maddie and Deacon in the family room. They had turned out the lights and were gazing at the fire as it crackled in the fireplace. When he saw Rayna gliding toward him, golden hair illuminated by the firelight, Deacon's breath caught in his throat. Even in jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt she was absolutely beautiful; no other woman could - or ever would - compare. He patted the seat beside him and motioned for her to sit. She did and the warmth of her body next to his made his heart pound. He put his arm over her shoulder and she leaned into him, resting her cheek against his chest.

Maddie got to her feet and went round the coffee table to join them on the couch. She sat on the other side of Deacon but didn't lean in to him; instead she waited to be invited. Deacon sensed her shyness, drew her close and kissed the top of her head.

Deacon's heart overflowed with love for the 2 1/2 people beside him, as well as the one sleeping down the hall. They were his family now and it was everything he had ever imagined. It just felt _right_. He wasn't going to ruin this moment by dwelling on the past; instead he gave himself permission to luxuriate in it.

None of them spoke. They just let themselves enjoy the feelings of contentment that washed over them.

Finally, Rayna broke the spell. 'Maddie,' she said, looking across Deacon to their daughter who was yawning. 'It's time for bed. It's a school day tomorrow.'

'Can't I stay up a little longer? You just got back.' Maddie had enjoyed having her mother close to home as she recuperated from the accident and Maddie had really missed her these last few days. Although Maddie loved Teddy, she hated having to spend every other week away from Rayna.

'Honey, after this show tomorrow you will be spending so much time with me you'll be begging Aunt Tandy to let you stay with her,' Rayna said, hoping to lighten the mood.

'No, I won't. I could never get tired of being with you,' Maddie answered. 'I miss you when you're not here.'

Rayna's heart broke at that statement. She hated the fact that she could only be part of the girls' day-to-day lives half the time. It occurred to Rayna that now that the paternity issue was out in the open and Rayna and Deacon were back together, perhaps Maddie would choose to stay with Rayna and Deacon full time. That did little to salve her heart over Daphne but she consoled herself with the selfish thought that perhaps Teddy might eventually become too preoccupied with Peggy and his new baby to keep moving houses every other week. From hints Maddie and Daphne had dropped, Rayna got the impression Peggy wasn't too thrilled with the current arrangement. Perhaps one day Rayna and Deacon could live with the girls full time and Teddy could visit or have them overnight as often as he wanted.

'I know you do, Maddie. And I miss you too,' she said. 'But I'm going to talk to Teddy about maybe getting more time with you and Daph after school. Instead of y'all being in the homework club, what do you think about me picking you up - even during Teddy's weeks? You could do your homework here and we could have a little more time together before he gets home from work. Would you like that?'

'Yes!' Maddie squealed. 'I would love that and I know Daph would too.' Disentangling herself from Deacon's arms, she rushed to give her mother a hug. Then she turned to Deacon. 'Will you be here for breakfast?'

_Uh oh. Does she feel like I'm intruding on her time with her mama?_ He wasn't sure how to answer. Did she want him to be or was she hoping he'd be gone early? 'Uh, yep' he said, adding awkwardly, 'Unless you don't want me to be?'

Smiling at him, Maddie put her hand on his shoulder and said, 'I do want you to be – maybe Daph and I can make you our special pancakes,' she said.

Relieved, Deacon echoed her words. ''Special pancakes'?'

'You mean the lemon poppyseed recipe?' Rayna said to Maddie.

'Yes – they're delicious,' Maddie said to Deacon, nodding emphatically.

'Sounds great,' Deacon lied. The thought of lemon poppyseed anything made him ill but Maddie didn't need to know that.

'You know what, hon? I think Deacon might really like the cinnamon roll version,' Rayna suggested. 'Do we have the ingredients for that?'

Rayna remembered the night Deacon had sworn off lemon-poppyseed for life. They'd been on the road and a member of the crew had brought in a beautiful lemon poppyseed cake to share with the band. Deacon had spent the next several hours running between the stage and the toilet.

'I'll check,' Maddie said, running off to the kitchen.

Turning to Rayna, Deacon whispered, 'Thank you,' into her ear.

She kissed him, saying, 'I couldn't make you eat that. I'll never forget your face that night. Honest to God, you were green. I don't know how you made it through that show.'

He chuckled. 'It was a struggle – I won't lie,' he said, stealing a kiss from Rayna before Maddie came back.

When she did she reported that they had all the ingredients for cinnamon roll pancakes. Giving them both a quick hug and a kiss, she said 'Goodnight' and went to her room, singing happily.

Deacon stretched his legs out and pulled Rayna more closely to him. The evening had gone better than he'd expected but now he was ready to have her all to himself.

'And then there were two,' he said, leaning in to kiss her.

Rayna stifled a yawn against his lips.

Chuckling he said, 'You ready for bed, Ray?'

'I am,' she said, staring at him through half-closed eyes. 'Guess last night is catching up with me.'

'Well, you got a big day tomorrow and you need your rest.' Standing up, he pulled her to her feet. 'Allow me to escort you to your room,' he said, offering her his arm. 'No, let me take you to yours,' she said. They got up, arms companionably around one another, and headed for the guest room. Turning on the light next to the bed, she gave him a quick kiss. Then she whispered, 'I'll be back,' and disappeared, leaving him to wonder what she had in mind.

Once in her bedroom's ensuite, Rayna washed her face, brushed her teeth and dabbed the perfume he loved behind her ear. As she did, she tried to figure out the best way to approach their lovemaking. She was on fire for him but still too sore to demonstrate her affection in the customary way. Still, that didn't mean they had to be chaste.

She shed the jeans and t-shirt she'd been wearing and pulled a light blue silk nightie from her drawer. Drawing it over her head, she imagined how Deacon would react to seeing her in it. It was sleeveless, with tiny blue roses around the neck. It ended mid-thigh. She'd bought it because blue was his favorite color on her and he loved the feel of silk against his skin. She'd been hoping to surprise him with it after the CMA Awards but she hadn't had the chance. The nightie would likely end up on the floor as soon as she saw him but she knew he would appreciate it just the same.

She slipped a robe around her shoulders and exited the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. She didn't want to sleep with Deacon in her bedroom; they needed their own space - one in which there would be no reminder of the lost years.

Deacon had stripped down to his boxers and lay there quietly strumming his guitar. He wasn't worried about disturbing the girls because Rayna had told him all the rooms in the house were soundproofed. That way she could practice her music anywhere she wanted without fear of waking them up. He hoped the insulation would also muffle the sounds he had every intention of eliciting from Rayna.

He heard a knock on the door. 'Come in,' he said softly. The door opened and there she was, a vision that seemed to have walked right out of his dreams. She locked the door behind her and took off her robe, revealing a sexy blue nightie he immediately wanted to rip off her body.

His breath caught in his throat. 'You know I'm not gonna be able to let you get any sleep when you're wearin' that,' he growled. He got up slowly, deliberately, staring deeply into her eyes as he gathered her into his arms. He kissed her passionately, releasing the pent-up emotion from the day into her mouth as he ground his hips against hers. She clung to him tightly, never wanting to let him go. They kissed for long minutes, reveling in the knowledge that they could take as much time as they needed.

Eventually they staggered back to the bed. He covered them both with the blanket but she threw it off and climbed on top of him, making him moan as she kissed her way down his neck. He tried to bring her head up so he could kiss her but she wouldn't let him. She was too intent on kissing her way down his chest, sucking at his nipples and caressing his stomach with her hands.

'Ray,' he said, 'Come back up here,' he said, feeling bereft without her lips against his.

'Shhh,' she soothed. 'Just relax and let me have my dessert,' she murmured, gently working her way down his torso and kissing the thatch of hair beneath his belly button. The touch of her lips against his skin was electrifying, the torture exquisite.

'What? Ohhhhh, Ray.' Her lips found his manhood and slowly, slowly her tongue began to swirl around the tip in ways he didn't think he'd be able to stand. Eventually she alternated bobbing her head up and down and delicately caressing his balls with her tongue in a figure 8 pattern that made him wild with desire. All too soon he was close to the edge.

'Ray, please – inside you – I need to be inside you,' he groaned, helpless.

'Sorry, babe – I'm still too sore. I want to taste you,' she said, continuing her maddening ministrations. The swirling motion she made with her tongue was more than he could bear. He gave in to it and exploded, bucking his hips as he cried out in ecstasy. She swallowed it all and wiped her lips with her hand. Then she pressed her lips against his taut belly, kissing and suckling her way back up to his mouth. He clung to her, pulling her to him and gathering her in his arms. 'What about you?' he said, breathing heavily.

'I'm fine, babe,' she said truthfully. 'I'm too sore for anything but curling up beside you and going to sleep,' she said. She loved falling asleep beside him, the way he folded her into his body, gathering her against his chest, the way he was protective of her even in sleep.

'You sure?' he questioned. 'How 'bout if I use my tongue?' he said, getting ready to make the descent down her body.

'Babe, I will definitely take you up on that offer but not tonight,' she said, snuggling against him.

Acquiescing he said, 'OK, Ray, have it your way.' He reached out and turned off the bedside lamp.

She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart hammering as he came down. 'I love you, Deacon,' she whispered.

'I love you too, Ray,' he said softly. 'With every cell in my body.'

He meant it.


	24. Chapter 24

The early morning light was just beginning to filter through the curtains when Rayna opened her eyes. Deacon slept soundly, spooning her from behind. He murmured softly in his sleep and she reveled in the feeling of his warm body enfolding her, his breath hot against the back of her neck, his erection hard and warm against her ass. _Sore or not,_ she thought, _I'm gonna take advantage of that. _She slowly turned to face him, tugging on the comforter that covered them both. As she breathed in the heavenly warm scent of his body wafting up from beneath the blanket she tried to extricate her hair from his fingertips; sleeping with Deacon always left her with tangled hair. She braided it for Teddy who otherwise complained that it tickled, but Deacon liked it down. Long strands gave him options a braid couldn't - like burying his face in it or pulling her in for a savage kiss.

As she worked to free her hair she thought, _I'd better pick up some of that extra-strength conditioner before the show tonight. _

_The show. Pancakes. Christ – did I oversleep? What time is it?_

Hastily she raised herself on one elbow to look at the clock, yanking her hair in the process. 'Dammit!' she cursed quietly: 6:15. _Why didn't my alarm go off? _Reaching over Deacon she picked up her phone and realized she'd mistakenly selected '5:30 PM.'

Inwardly groaning, she plucked the rest of her hair from Deacon's fingers and pulled it into a bun, listening for noises from the kitchen. Nothing. _I still have time to get to my room_. Deacon's arm was around her waist so she gently lifted it, trying to get up without disturbing him. Subconsciously he felt her movements and brought his arm back down, pulling her tight against his erection. She knew that morning erections were involuntary and that they served some biological purpose (preserving penile health for one) but she couldn't help being aroused. His erections always turned her on – even the ones he got when all they were supposed to be were friends.

She'd felt him hard against her countless times during her marriage, when their goodbye hugs lasted just a little too long. He would pull back, embarrassed, but what he didn't know was that she'd wanted him just as much as he'd wanted her. Every single time. She'd always wished there was some way to tell him he had nothing to be embarrassed about, that if nature had endowed her with something bigger he'd be feeling her arousal too. And the way he'd rubbed his penis against her most sensitive spot just now, in his sleep. _Is that instinctive?_ _God, I wish I could take advantage of that. Can I? Do I have time? Maybe between school drop-off and rehearsal?_

Deacon's eyelids fluttered. 'Where you going, Ray?' he said sleepily, touching his forehead to hers. Tempted, she kissed his lips but quickly resigned herself to her fate. _Not now, but later. Definitely later._ Sighing, she gently removed his hand from her hip and placed it on his own. 'Babe, it's late – I got to get the girls off to school.'

'I'll come with you,' he said into her mouth, kissing her.

'No, go back to sleep. I'll wake you when breakfast is ready.' She didn't want the girls to know she'd slept in the guest room. Everything was too new for that.

She left quietly, breathing a sigh of relief when she saw the lights were still off in Daphne and Maddie's rooms. Then she was tired all over again - maybe she could sleep for another half hour. Maybe Maddie would forget about pancakes and settle for cold cereal. They could make pancakes for Deacon on the weekend.

She crawled into her own bed, this time setting the alarm for 7:00 AM.

In the guest room, Deacon fought his way out of sleep. He'd tried to hold onto Rayna but she'd disappeared by the time he had his wits about him. Sighing, he rolled over and waited for slumber to reclaim him. When it didn't he got up, got a clean change of clothes from his bag and slipped them on. He brushed his teeth in the room's ensuite, tiptoed out of the room and was just about to sneak into Rayna's when Maddie and Daphne met him at the door.

'Hey, darlins',' he said, giving them each a hug. 'Your mom still asleep?'

'Yeah, her alarm just went off but she slept right through it. I was just about to wake her up.' Maddie said. The girls were already dressed, shined and polished for school.

'You know what, your mama has a big show tonight, so let's let her sleep. Tell me what I can do to help get this day started and then we can wake her up.'

'Lunch and breakfast,' Daphne said firmly.

'I think you may have that turned around, darlin'' He looked at Daphne skeptically.

'She means, first we pack our lunches and then we eat breakfast,' Maddie said patiently.

'I think I'm up for that.' He grinned and cocked his head at Maddie. 'We got time to make those pancakes?' Maddie beamed, happy he remembered. 'I think so, if we hurry,' she said.

'OK, lead the way,' he said. Daphne took him by the hand and led him to the kitchen. She and Maddie made the batter and icing. Deacon was in charge of the griddle. By 8:00 lunch was packed and a tall stack of cinnamon roll pancakes adorned each of four plates. They were just about to get Rayna when they heard the door open and saw Teddy walk in.

'Sure smells good in here…' He stopped when he saw Deacon, who was covered in flour and about to flip the last pancakes.

'Dad!' Daphne cried, running over to give Teddy a hug. Maddie got up from the table and hugged him too, awkwardly. Teddy thought he knew why.

'Where's your mom?' Teddy asked, not acknowledging Deacon.

'She's still asleep. We're just about to wake her up. Want to stay for pancakes?' Daphne said eagerly.

He stroked her hair, saying, 'No thanks, honey.' Then he looked at the four plates and was overcome with sadness. It wasn't too long ago that one of those plates would have been for him. Of course he still had the girls, but he didn't have Rayna. He missed her and the family unit they had built together. The fact that Deacon was standing there in _his_ kitchen, making pancakes with _his_ daughters incensed him but faking a smile, he told Daphne, 'I figured your mom would be tired so I thought I'd give you a ride to school.'

Deacon stood there awkwardly, waiting for bubbles to form on the last four pancakes. It was time to add the cinnamon sugar icing. He picked up the pastry bag and started massaging its contents towards the tip but the sound of Daphne's voice stilled him. 'Wait - can I do it? Maddie got to do it last time.' She left Teddy's arms and went to the stove.

Deacon looked at Teddy, who said nothing. _Well, if that's the way we're going to play this, I guess I'll just pretend he isn't here_, Deacon thought. 'OK, darlin' – you're the boss.' Daphne took the bag from Deacon's hands. 'Whoops, Deacon said, 'The tie's loose – it's gonna squirt out the end if we don't fix it. There,' he said, gently fiddling with the bag. He handed it back to Daphne and she squeezed the icing into round, messy swirls. 'That's it – squeeze it like – hey, why am I tellin' you? You're a pro.' She grinned and Teddy grimaced_. _

After the accident Teddy had resigned himself to Deacon and Rayna being together but in the last couple of months he'd gotten accustomed to the idea she and Deacon wouldn't reconcile. That thought was satisfying in a way seeing Deacon in his kitchen was not. _He almost killed her but they're obviously back together_, he thought darkly. _She let him stay the night in our bed with the girls in the house. What the hell was she thinking_?

He went to find out. 'I'll get your backpacks,' Teddy said to the girls. Deacon had been too preoccupied with keeping Daphne from burning herself at the stove to notice Teddy's expression.

Teddy knocked softly at Rayna's door and hearing nothing, stepped in. As he watched her sleep he was overcome with feelings of jealousy and remorse. Everything they had built together was gone. He had the girls some of the time, and Peggy and the new baby, but the life he had known was over and it wasn't coming back. When he stepped foot in this bedroom it was as a stranger, not as Rayna's bedfellow. He felt the anger building and he went to her, shaking her awake more roughly than he intended.

'Rayna, wake up.' She opened her eyes, looking around her in confusion.

'Teddy? What are you doing here? Is everything alright? What time is it?' She rubbed her hands across her eyes, trying to clear her head. She looked at the clock: 8:05.

_Dammit what is wrong with this alarm?_ Shaking Teddy's hand off her shoulder, she started to get up and felt a wave of nausea as she rose. She quickly sat back down, leaned forward and took a few deep breaths. He could see she wasn't feeling well but he was too angry to care. Before she could sit back up he hissed, 'You let him spend the night with our daughters in the house. What the hell were you thinking?'

She was in no mood or condition to deal with his jealousy. 'Teddy, he's having work done on his house. He slept in the guest room.'

'Oh, really? Then how do you explain _those_?' he said, pointing to her hickeys.

Her hand rose protectively to her throat. _Crap._ Without thinking she replied, 'Those aren't from last night and the girls haven't seen them. I've been wearing a scarf,' she managed to get out before being overwhelmed with nausea. She knew she'd have to make it to the bathroom soon or Teddy would have barf all over his shoes. Hastily rising, she bolted for the bathroom but Teddy grabbed her by the shoulder and shouted, 'Don't walk away from me while I'm talking to you!'

'Teddy, please – let me go!' As she tried to wrest herself from his grasp, Deacon entered the room. In two long steps he was by her side, roughly pushing Teddy away. 'Get your hands off her!' he said menacingly. Grateful, she rushed to the bathroom. The two men could hear the sounds of her retching. Forgetting Teddy, Deacon rushed to her side and held her hair, which had come loose from the bun, as she expelled the contents of her stomach into the sink. Thankfully it wasn't much. Deacon wet a washcloth, gently wiped her cheeks and smoothed the hair from her sweaty forehead.

'You okay? Can I get you some tea?' he said. She turned to him and rested her head against his chest, shaking. She hated throwing up, the violent heaving of an empty stomach.

'No, hon – I'll wait a few minutes. Thanks.' After rinsing her mouth with water and brushing her teeth, they exited the bathroom together. Deacon's arm was looped protectively around her shoulders. Gently, he led her to the chaise at the foot of the bed and sat her down. Rayna looked at Teddy who was standing awkwardly at the door.

'What do you want?' she said tiredly.

Teddy tried not to notice the way Deacon was looking at her, eyes full of love and concern, or the way Rayna held his hand tightly for support.

'I figured you'd be tired so I came to take the girls to school. I do not want him driving them anywhere. Is that clear?' They might be back together but Teddy was going to make damned sure his daughters weren't going to be driven around by a drunk.

'Yes, Teddy,' she said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at his tone. 'Tandy's picking them up from school and driving them to the arena. She'll bring them home after the show.'

'Fine. And I do not want him sleeping here again. Do you hear me?' Rayna knew Teddy was just jealous of Deacon but his patronizing attitude made her want to slap him. They'd been getting along so well since she'd gotten out of the hospital; clearly Deacon's presence had sent him over the edge.

She spoke calmly, not wanting to rise to the bait. 'Teddy, can we please talk about this later? I'm really not feeling well and I have to get ready for rehearsal.'

'Fine.' Teddy turned on his heel and left. Deacon and Rayna looked at one another and burst out laughing.

'Ain't he a ray of sunshine?' said Deacon.

'He sure is.' Rayna smiled. 'It's funny - he and I have been getting along so well lately; I guess knowing you and I are back together just makes him see red.'

'Yeah, well maybe I'd feel for the guy if he wasn't such a jackass.' She laughed and got up.

'I can't believe it's so late - I got to go make the girls' lunches and breakfast.'

Deacon gently pushed her back down. 'The girls' lunches are made. They're in there eating breakfast, book bags packed, dressed and ready to go. All Teddy has to do is drop them off.'

She looked at him gratefully and leaned her head against his chest. 'Thank you, Deacon.' He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, kissing her softly on the top of her head. 'No need to thank me, Ray. They did most of the work.'

They stood there swaying for a moment until she felt composed enough to go say goodbye to the girls. She felt better already. She always felt better when he was around.


	25. Chapter 25

_This one's for OnceUponASomeday! Content in this chapter is explicit so if this type of language offends, please avert your eyes now. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

They stood swaying together, Rayna's face buried in Deacon's shirt. He smelled like the inside of a bakery on a warm Southern day. 'You smell good,' she murmured.

'That would be the cinnamon Daphne spilled on my shirt.'

'No, it's not just that - it's you. You always smell good,' she said, 'Like bread and cinnamon.'

'That would be the vanilla our daughter splashed on the counter. Don't tell her but I wiped it up with my sleeve.'

_Our daughter. _They both liked how that sounded.

As they stood facing each other she became aware of the growing heat between her legs. She needed to feel him inside her. And she was going to have him just as soon as she could. But first there were the girls to say goodbye to, and Teddy to usher out the door. Breaking their embrace, she took his hand and led him to the kitchen.

When they got there, the girls were just putting their dishes in the sink. Teddy was taking a call in the living room. From the tone of his voice it sounded like he was placating someone. Rayna could only guess who: Peggy.

The kitchen was a disaster. Flour dusted every surface and a dab of sticky sugar icing was sliding down a cupboard door. Dishes were piled high in the sink and milk glasses were still on the table. Rayna estimated the disaster clean-up would run at least 20 minutes which would definitely cut into her 'Deacon time' before she had to rush off to rehearsal.

Observing the scene, Rayna said gaily, 'What a mess! Looks like whoever made breakfast enjoyed themselves!'

Daphne rushed to Rayna. 'We saved you some pancakes, Mom. They're in the oven. Yours are too, Uncle Deacon,' she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the stove. 'You took so long getting Mom we ate without you,' she scolded, hands on her hips like a mini-Rayna.

'Well, sometimes things take longer than you think, darlin,' he said, smiling. 'I'll try not to keep you waiting next time,' he added, mock-seriously.

'It's okay,' Maddie interjected. 'It gave Daphne enough time to steal a couple of your pancakes,' she said, trying to pay Daphne back for her crack about Dylan the night before.

'I did not!' Daphne said hotly.

Maddie shrugged. 'Did too.'

'You had more than I did,' Daphne protested.

'Girls.' Rayna spoke firmly. 'It doesn't matter. Deacon and I will split whatever's left over.' Then she gathered both her daughters into a hug. 'Thank you for making breakfast and your lunch too.' Looking from one to the other she said, 'Do you have everything you need? Daph, did you put that permission slip in your backpack?'

'No, I forgot. Where is it? Uncle Deacon, did you see it anywhere?' Daphne asked.

'Well, I did see something that looked official around somewhere…'

'I put it on the fridge last night,' Rayna said. 'There it is,' she said, scanning the refrigerator door. 'Next to the calendar. See Daph? Go get it, and put it in your backpack. Thanks, hon.' Daphne plucked the paper off the fridge and scampered off to find her backpack. Maddie followed to get hers.

Just then, Teddy came back into the kitchen and approached Rayna, ignoring Deacon. 'You and I will talk later,' he said to Rayna. 'Come on girls, it's getting late,' he called.

The girls ran in, so Rayna gave them the day's itinerary.

'Aunt Tandy's going to bring you to the arena after school. You can do your homework in my dressing room and watch the show with her. After the show, she'll bring you backstage and take you home later. Then I'll see you on Sunday when I take over.'

'Not 'til Sunday? I was hoping you were taking us to get our haircut on Saturday,' Daphne said plaintively.

'I don't get you back 'til Sunday at noon but I promise we'll do something fun then. Maybe we can go get a pedicure.'

'OK, how should we tell them to cut our hair? Dad doesn't know what to tell them.'

Rayna looked at Teddy, eyebrows raised. Grudgingly he said, 'Maybe Mom can take you to get your hair cut. Rayna, that okay with you?'

'Sounds perfect. Girls, I will pick you up at 1:00.'

'We're having dinner with Peggy's family that night so can you have them back by 4:00?'

'Sure.'

'OK, see you Saturday,' he cleared his throat. 'Maybe we can talk then.'

Rayna nodded.

'Have a good show,' Teddy said awkwardly. 'Bye.'

'Bye Teddy, see you Saturday.'

'Bye Mom, see you tonight,' Daphne said, following her sister to the door. 'Uncle Deacon will you be at the show tonight?'

'I wouldn't miss it. See you there.'

As the door closed behind Teddy and the girls, Deacon tried to pull Rayna in for a kiss.

'Hold that thought, babe,' she said, running to the window. She didn't want to start anything she couldn't finish. And she needed to finish. When she saw Teddy backing out of the driveway she ran back to Deacon.

Gazing at her adoringly Deacon said, 'Do you have any idea how much I love you?'

'Hmmm, about half as much as I love you?'

'Try again,' he said.

'Maybe you better show me,' she said, reaching for his belt buckle. 'We have about 10 minutes,' she said, mentally calculating her chore list. He looked at her, trying to figure out how to make the best use of their time. She started tapping her foot, mock impatient. 'Babe, you'd better get started if you want to finish in time.'

'I am getting started' he said, kissing her gently. She moaned as her lips parted for him and she felt his tongue snaking into her mouth. It was good, but she needed something else this morning.

Breaking their kiss, she said, 'I'm afraid I need something a bit … harder.' Her voice was husky with desire. She was _hot_ for him. She'd been ready for him ever since she woke up that morning. Her pleasure centre was the sole focal point in her body and everything else radiated from it.

'_Harder_, huh? Can you be a bit more specific?' he said, recognizing the gleam in her eyes but wanting to take it slow.

_Oh yes, I can be specific_, she thought wickedly. She didn't want to waste any more time kissing. That could be part of it but she needed to feel him in her very core. 'I want to feel you inside of me, Deacon,' she whispered in his ear. 'I want you to drive your cock so far into me I can feel it in my throat.' Deacon's was shocked to hear her speak thusly, but shocked in the very best way possible. All of a sudden every nerve ending in his body was on high alert. It drove him wild to hear her speak so explicitly and she knew it. Kissing his neck, she elaborated further. 'I want to hear you cry out my name when you come.' Then she went in for the kill, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist. 'I want to walk into that rehearsal full of your sperm,' she said, caressing his cheeks. 'And I may want you to screw me again before sound check,' she finished, undoing his belt buckle and and the zipper and slipping both hands inside.

'Oh, Ray,' he said, breathing heavily, moaning as she grasped him with both hands and started jacking him up and down. 'Are you sure you're not too sore? I don't want to hurt you.'

'I don't care. I need you. I want you. Now.'

In one motion he swooped her up and carried her to the guest room where he laid her on the bed. She went to take control but he pushed her back and stripped her of the pajama bottoms she had put on after leaving the guest room earlier that morning, tossing them on the floor. He knelt between her legs and placed his mouth on her swollen sex. Then he began to tease her, tantalizing her with his tongue. She moaned as his lips touched her but she wanted - needed more. 'No, Deacon, I need you inside me, please.' He didn't want to hurt her - he wanted her to be wet and ready for him so he ignored her, swirling his tongue around, nipping at her most tender flesh. He caressed her thighs with his hands, gently running his fingers up her leg. She bucked her hips and ground her sex into his face, crying out with pleasure. He thrust his tongue inside her.

Almost mad with desire she grabbed his head and tried to pull him up, nearly sobbing in frustration. 'Inside me, Deacon, inside me!' Moving quickly up her body he gave her what she needed. He grabbed both wrists, raised her arms above her head and pinned her down. She felt him hard against her thigh and then he was between her legs, forcing them apart with his knee as their pelvises collided. He used one hand to grip his shaft and place it at her opening, gazing into her eyes as she looked at him desperately. 'Please, babe, please,' she whimpered, feeling him so close but not close enough. She bucked her hips against him, trying to force their union. 'Shh, Ray, shhh, it's alright,' he soothed, staring into her eyes. Momentarily stilled by the intensity of his gaze, she stopped moving, staring in wonder at the love she saw there. Then he lowered his face to hers and kissed her gently, sweetly. As his tongue parted the seam of her lips he thrust forward brutally. In one long stroke he was inside her, almost undone by the wet, searing heat that enveloped him.

She cried out into his mouth, gasping in pleasure and relief. She wrapped her legs around his ass and forced her tongue down his throat, savouring the taste of him, the pleasure that radiated from all the places their bodies were joined. They moved together and he let go of her wrists. Her hands went to his ass, clutching him as she encouraged him to go deeper, deeper. She clung to him, never wanting this moment to end. Despite the fact that she was nearing her peak, she felt so bereft when he withdrew; it was only when he plunged deep inside her that she felt utterly and totally complete. He couldn't believe how she felt around him; she was so tight, so wet and the look in her eyes, the desperation that told him she felt an emptiness only he could fill, only heightened his pleasure. He reached between their bodies to flick her clit. Her breathing grew more shallow and he saw in her eyes that she was almost there. He was, too. He rotated his hips, touching her in exactly the right spot and she exploded, screaming his name in ecstasy. Then he came, as hard as he had ever come in his life, crying out her name.


	26. Chapter 26

_Thanks to David Levithan for some of the language in this chapter. _

* * *

They lay there breathing heavily, Deacon collapsed atop Rayna. He kissed her cheeks, her eyes, and her nose as he murmured tenderly, 'I love you so much, Ray - so much.' He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. Rayna could feel his heart pounding against her chest, could feel the love and passion behind his words. Her eyes gleamed with unshed tears and she held his face in her hands as she tried to convey what she was feeling, 'I love you, too, babe - oh God, I love you so much.' Deacon stroked her hair and kissed her lips tenderly. Then he buried his face in her neck and suddenly they were both crying. Deacon didn't know what made their lovemaking so powerful, so transcendent, but that's what it was. He felt like he was in the middle of a universe filled with light and love, one that stretched out forever. He didn't know how he'd lived without it for the last two months - let alone the last 13 years.

What was it about this renewal of love with Rayna? How could such a small measure of time contain such enormity? He suddenly realized why people believed in déjà vu, why people believe they've lived past lives, because there is no way the years he's spent on this earth could possibly encapsulate what he was feeling. The moment he gave in to Rayna back in Los Angeles felt like it had centuries behind it, generations—all of them rearranging themselves so that this precise, remarkable intersection could happen. In his heart, in his bones, no matter how silly he knew it was, he felt that everything had been leading to this, all the secret arrows were pointing here, the universe and time itself crafted this long ago, and he was just now realizing it, he was just now arriving at the place he was always meant to be.

He rolled off her, clutched her tightly and she turned to face him, seeing the tears in his eyes. 'Babe,' she said. 'Are you okay?' she asked, brushing his hair from his forehead.

'Never better,' he croaked, smiling weakly. He grabbed her hand. 'That was just…' he started and then stopped. There were no words to describe what that was. She looked at him, nodding. The enormity of her love for him washed over her again and tears from her own eyes began to fall. She loved him so much her heart literally ached. But there was something in his eyes she didn't understand, so she waited for him to speak.

'I can't…I can't do this, Ray,' he whispered, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

Her stomach lurched. _What? _She grabbed his shoulder. 'Can't do what?' she said harshly.

Seeing the fear on her face, he forced himself to go on, needing her to hear how much he hated this. 'Having you here and there, bits and pieces, stealing time between the moments of your real life. I hate that whether we're gonna spend the night together tonight is even a question. I don't want to spend another night away from you - ever.' He looked at her intently. 'I want the right to share your bed every night. I want that to be a given - not something we try to squeeze in. And if you don't feel the same way… I can't do this. I can't be with you part-time.'

'Oh, babe,' she said, relieved. 'Don't scare me like that! There is nothing I want more than to be with you always,' she said, voice heavy with emotion.

'Then marry me,' he said simply.

'What?' She could hardly believe her ears. Then her heart felt like it was about to explode as she looked at him in wonder.

'Marry me, Ray,' he said, looking at her with eyes full of love and longing, stroking her face with his fingertips. 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to waste any more time. I want it all, Ray,' he said with certainty. 'And I won't settle for anything less.' Truthfully, he was a bit nervous about how she would take that declaration but her expression told him he was on firm ground.

'Oh, Deacon,' she said, kissing him passionately. 'Of course I'll marry you.' Suddenly she pulled back to look at him intently. 'But…we have to lay a few ground rules first, okay?'

'Okay,' he whispered, propping himself on one elbow as he looked deeply into her eyes. 'How many rules are we talking about, Ray? Should I start taking notes?' he asked playfully.

'Just a couple. Can we talk about it tonight? When we get home?'

'Which 'home' are we talking' 'bout, Ray?'

'Ours – the one that's being worked on…Oh,' she said, remembering the construction. 'How about a hotel?'

'A hotel it is, then. I'll make the reservations. King size bed okay?' She felt herself stirring again at his words. God, all this man had to do was mention a bed and she was hot to get him into one.

'I guess that'll do,' she said, kissing him.

##########

With oven mitt in one hand and a spatula in the other, Rayna adorned two plates with piping hot pancakes. She insisted on drowning hers in maple syrup but Deacon thought they were plenty sweet on their own. They stood facing each other, only inches apart, and fed each other breakfast. Rayna stood between Deacon's knees as he leaned against the counter. As his lips parted to receive her offering, he admired the view. They were both naked. Her breasts seemed even larger than they had the night before, her nipples visibly darkened and elongated. Her smooth belly, swollen from the baby, seemed to have grown overnight and he knew it wouldn't be long before the hair that curled between her thighs would be barely visible. Overwhelmed by the events of the morning, and by the sight of Rayna's breasts and belly staring him in the face, Deacon tried to still his shaking hands. But despite his best efforts, drops of syrup fell to the floor every time he lifted the fork to her lips. He'd deal with that later. Rayna put a bite gently in Deacon's mouth, her eyes skating over his body as she admired his toned arms and tight abs, the way his manhood was beginning to stand at attention. She froze at the sound of her name.

'Rayna?' Came Juliette's voice from outside the house. Eyes wide, Deacon and Rayna both moved at once. Rayna lunged for the kitchen table and dragged the tablecloth off, forks and empty plates flying. As she was attempting to wrap the barely big enough piece of cloth around her body the door opened and Juliette and Liam walked in. 'Bucky said we could come right in…' Juliette and Liam stopped. They knew exactly what they had stumbled in on.

'Have you two ever heard of knocking?!' Rayna shrieked.

'Like I said, Bucky said we could come right in,' Juliette said, ignoring her and looking at Deacon, who had turned three shades of pink. He'd grabbed Teddy's apron off the wall – a joke gift from the girls with 'World's Best Dad' emblazoned across the front - and was fumbling with the tie at the back.

'We came to give you a ride to rehearsal. You weren't answering your phone so we decided to come on by….'

'Go to the living room. Now!' Rayna ordered, pointing the way with one hand and trying to hold the tablecloth over her breasts with the other. 'Stay there while I get dressed,' she commanded. 'Need any help?' Liam teased. He spoke without thinking, automatically trying to get under Rayna's skin, but then he noticed the murderous look Deacon was giving him. 'Guess you have Deacon for that…' he trailed off.

'Unbelievable!' Rayna muttered to Deacon.

Liam couldn't resist a rejoinder. 'Yeah, it _is_ unbelievable - unbelievable that you two can't keep your hands off each other long enough to make it to rehearsal!' he chortled. 'That tablecloth really does it for you, Rayna – maybe you can work it into the wardrobe for tonight.'

Juliette grabbed Liam by the arm and dragged him in the direction of the living room. 'Are you _trying_ to get into a fistfight with Deacon?' she swore under her breath. They stood facing each other, arms wrapped around each other's bodies. Liam bent to kiss Juliette's forehead and Juliette purred, 'Besides - after last night, the only one you should be helping to dress is me.'

'Well, maybe I can help you do that before the show tonight? I'm pretty good with buttons,' he said, eyes twinkling.

'Yes, I do recall you being particularly good with your fingers,' she said, as she kissed him passionately.

Exiting the kitchen, Rayna and Deacon made their way to the guest room. Though they were out of sight of the living room, Deacon walked backwards just in case. Rayna followed him into the room and pulled on the pajama top and bottom she'd discarded earlier. Deacon hastily put on his jeans and button-down and turned to face her. 'Well, that was embarrassing,' he said, smiling. 'Guess we should have locked the door.'

Rayna nodded. 'I didn't think anyone would come in ... but you're right. Remind me next time to lock the door.'

'Oh, so there will be a next time, Mrs. Claybourne?'

'There will definitely be a next time, Mr. Claybourne. I'm looking forward to it.' She kissed him lightly on the lips. 'I'm going to take a shower and change. Would you mind telling our _guests _I'll be ready in 15 minutes?'

'Sure thing, Ray. Need some help soaping up?'

She shook her head. 'We know where that would lead and Juliette and Liam would probably barge in anyway.' She stroked his cheek tenderly. 'And the only witness I want to how much pleasure you give me is you,' she said. Kissing him, she said, 'I think I'll definitely need help washing my hair tonight, though.'

'It's a date. I'll book the hotel and come by your dressing room before the show. Enjoy your shower. I'm going to tackle those dishes.'

'Babe, you don't have to – ' she started, but he stopped her with a kiss. 'I don't mind,' he said.

'Thank you,' she said gratefully, knowing she would have no time to do them herself. She headed off for her shower.

Deacon pulled on his socks and shoes, tore the sheets off the bed and put them in a pile on the floor. He'd ask Rayna where to put them later.

He wandered back into the kitchen and said hello to Bucky, who had just arrived. Deacon made his way to the living room, where Juliette and Liam were locked in a kiss. Clearing his throat loudly he said, 'Sorry to _interrupt._ Rayna's taking a shower and will be ready to go in 15.'

'Thanks,' Juliette said sheepishly. Bucky came in to speak with Liam so Juliette decided she'd take this opportunity to needle Deacon some more.

'You looked good in that apron, Deacon.'

Ignoring her, he started loading the dishwasher. Suddenly he turned to face her.

'You sure gettin' involved with Liam's a good idea?' he asked.

'Don't tell me you're jealous,' she said, grabbing a dirty plate and putting it in the dishwasher.

'From what I've seen he's a bit of a player. I just don't want you gettin' hurt is all,' he said.

Half touched and half insulted she said, 'I can take care of myself, Deacon. I been doin' it long enough.'

'I know you can, Darlin' but sometimes … let's just say you're not the best judge of character.' They both knew he was referring to Dante.

'I could say the same thing about you,' she said defensively. 'Are you sure you should be getting involved with the woman who broke your heart?'

'Juliette, I'm not trying to argue with you. I know who Rayna is – faults and all. What do you know about Liam?'

'As much as I need to know,' she said, realizing at once how stupid that sounded. Before she could think of another answer, Rayna walked into the kitchen, hair wet and dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. She did not like seeing Juliette Barnes standing so close to Deacon but consoled herself with the thought that she was the one standing there with a belly swollen with his baby and so much sperm it was still leaking out.

'Y'all ready?' Rayna said to Juliette. 'Yep – Bucky's talking to Liam.'

'Lets go then. Buck?' Rayna called out. 'You ready?'

'Coming,' Bucky said. He, Juliette and Liam said their goodbyes to Deacon and headed out to the car. Rayna kissed Deacon on the lips and told him she'd see him backstage before the show.

Five minutes after they left, Deacon heard the door swing open. Surprised, he called, 'Did you forget somethin', Darlin?' Then he saw Teddy.

'What are you still doing here?' Teddy glowered.

'Loadin' the dishes, Teddy,' Deacon said simply, looking at Teddy defiantly. 'Would you rather I'd a left 'em for you?' Then he stopped, took a deep breath and remembered Rayna and the girls. The last thing any of them needed was a fistfight between he and Teddy.

'Just – don't worry about it. Just get the hell out.' Teddy said, fists clenched.

'Suit yourself,' Deacon said calmly, wiping his hands on his jeans. He headed for the guest room to get his stuff. When he came back, bag and guitar in hand, Teddy looked at him fiercely.

'I meant what I said, Deacon. I don't want you staying the night here again.' Shoulders squared, Teddy waited for Deacon to react. He hoped it wasn't with fists flying but he was prepared to take him if he had to.

'I hear you let Peggy stay over,' Deacon said. 'What's the difference?'

'The difference is that Peggy and I are engaged.'

Deacon looked at him thoughtfully, not sure how much he should reveal of this morning's conversation with Rayna. Still, Teddy would find out sooner or later and he figured it was best to settle this once and for all, man to man. Maybe it would be one less argument Rayna would have to have with Teddy. 'Well, I guess it's not so different after all,' he said, shrugging his shoulders.

'What the hell does that mean?'

'Draw your own conclusions, Ted. I'm about to become a member of your extended family so you'd better get used to having me around.'

Teddy was stunned. 'You've been back together a day and now you're getting _married_?' Teddy shook his head. 'Doesn't bode well, Deacon. Not at all.'

'Look, I've loved that woman for 25 years. And you know what? You and I are never going to be friends but whether you like it or not, we are going to be in each other's lives, so let's just learn to tolerate each other. For Rayna's sake. For the girls' sake.' He saw resignation in Teddy's face.

Teddy hated to admit it but he knew Deacon was right. If he and Rayna really were getting married, Teddy knew he would just have to learn to live with it.

'Fine,' he said flatly. 'But I do not want you driving the girls around.'

Deacon looked at him. He hated to admit it but he probably would have felt the same way had their roles been reversed. 'Understood,' he sighed. 'Have a good day, Ted.' With that, Deacon picked up his bag and guitar and left. Teddy stood there looking at the door, thinking of their conversation.

_She's going to marry him._ And there was nothing he could do about it.


	27. Chapter 27

Tandy plopped herself down on the soft leather couch in Rayna's dressing room. Scarlett had offered to give the girls a tour around the arena and Tandy figured that gave her just enough time to grill Rayna about her adventures with Deacon.

Rayna was drinking a cup of tea. She had resigned herself to having this chat with her nosy sister because she knew Tandy wouldn't let up if she didn't hear the whole story.

'You gonna spill?' Tandy asked, as excited as if she were just about to watch the season finale of a primetime soap.

Rayna sighed and sat down next to her sister, determined to give her only a rote recitation of the facts. 'Buck got Deacon to come visit me in LA. Deacon wasn't ready to make up but he agreed to come because he was worried about me. Liam got sick and Deacon offered to finish the show. We did one of the songs Deacon wrote after he found out I was marrying Teddy.'

'Talk to Me While I'm Listening,' Tandy said breathlessly. 'Honestly, Rayna, I can't believe you made him sit through that.'

'The only reason I chose that song is because we weren't communicating and I wanted him to understand how I felt.'

'How did he take it?'

'He didn't like it but it did the trick. At least he was willing to talk to me after the show.'

'So after the show…' Tandy prompted.

'We went back to the hotel and we talked.'

'About…?'

'Everything.' She looked down, still hurt at the memory of Deacon telling her he thought it was too late for them. When she looked up, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. 'It was brutal, Tandy. The look in his eyes….' She shook her head, trying to forget Deacon's expression in those moments. 'He told me he loved me, but he said he didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive me for not telling him about Maddie. He said he could understand why I didn't tell him at first, but that I had no right to keep it from him after he'd been sober all these years.'

'Oh, honey.'

'I thought I'd lost him for good this time, Tandy. I truly did.' She took a moment to collect herself and then she went on. 'He said he'd spent the last couple of months trying to find a way to forgive me but he just couldn't because all he could think of was that he'd missed Maddie's childhood because I wanted to protect my marriage.' Her head hung sadly at the memory. 'He said that if I'd truly loved him I could never have kept that secret from him.'

'Did you tell him he was wrong? That you kept it to protect both he and Maddie? Is that what changed his mind?'

'No,' she said steadily, looking straight into her sister's eyes. 'I told him he was right.'

'What?'

'He was right, Tandy. ' She lowered her gaze to her hands and twisted the ring on her finger the girls had given her. 'I couldn't lie to him – even though I'd been lying to myself.' She forced herself to look at her sister. 'And then I admitted I'd always blamed him for making me make that choice in the first place and that ….maybe my not telling him was a little bit of payback.'

'Rayna! Is that really the way you felt?' She'd never heard Rayna describe what she'd felt in that way, though Tandy had often wondered if part of Rayna kept the secret as a form of punishment.

'I think so – I didn't know it until he accused me of not loving him enough to tell him, but I think I did blame him.'

Tandy was silent for a moment. 'Then what happened?'

'I told him that I'd always loved him, but that maybe it wasn't a mature kind of love because in the end I let protecting my marriage outweigh his right to know he had a daughter.'

Rayna got up to refill her tea and Tandy noticed it looked like it hurt to walk.

'And…?'

'And we had angry sex. Over and over again. Then we flew back home and he came over for dinner.

'Did you have more angry sex last night?

'Tandy! No,' she laughed. 'I was too sore.'

'I thought you were walking funny.'

'You have no idea.'

'Tell me.'

'Tell you what?'

'How many times did you have angry sex?'

'Why do you want to know?'

'I don't know, but I do. Absolutely.'

'I'm pretty sure Deacon would not appreciate me telling you the details of our sex life but I trust you will be discreet?'

Tandy nodded.

'Promise?'

'Yes, now tell me before the girls get back!'

Rayna laughed. 'Let's see…four times that night, twice the next morning, then again this morning before I came here and last night – no, technically that was just oral sex so…that makes seven times.'

'Seven times in a 48 hour period. Plus oral sex.'

Rayna shrugged. 'We had a lot to work through. But this morning was the best of all – until Liam and Juliette showed up and caught us naked.'

'They caught you naked?!'

'They came to gave me a ride to rehearsal and for some reason that defies explanation Bucky told them they could just walk right in. Thank God for that blue tablecloth – otherwise Liam would have gotten an eyeful.'

Tandy laughed out loud. 'I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. What did Deacon do?'

'You know that 'World's Best Dad' apron the girls got Teddy last year?'

Tandy nodded.

'He put that on and hustled down the hallway ass-backward.'

Tandy burst out laughing. The she got back on point.

'So this morning was best because…'

'Tandy, this is starting to disturb me. Why are you asking so many questions about my sex life? Do you see me asking about you and Buck?'

'I don't know – you and Deacon have always had this larger-than-life passion – I'm just wondering how that manifests itself in real life.'

'Well this morning it manifested itself in the best sex I've ever had and a proposal of marriage.'

'_What?_ Did you ask him or did he ask you?'

'He asked me. He said he wanted to be with me full time and – I know you'll like this part – he wanted the right to share my bed every night.'

'And what did you say to that?'

Rayna rolled her eyes at her. 'Guess.'

'You said yes.'

'Of course.'

'Rayna, I know the sex is great but are you sure this is a good idea? I mean you've literally only been back together a day.'

'Tandy, I've always loved him. I've spent the last 13 years pretending that didn't matter but no matter how hard I try, I will never love any man the way I love Deacon. I know that now. He is it for this lifetime and I'm tired of fighting it.'

'You sure that's a good enough reason to get married? It sounds more like you've just resigned yourself to your fate.'

'It's the best reason to get married, Tandy. It's not just that I know I'll never love another man. I don't _want_ to love another man. Why should I? Deacon is perfect. It sounds clichéd but he is the only man I have ever loved with my whole heart. Now that the secret's out and we don't have his drinking problem hanging over our heads it's just him and me, the way it was always meant to be. This is our chance, Tandy,' she said, the tears threatening to spill over. 'We finally get our happy ending.'

Tandy took Rayna's hand. 'Okay,' she said softly. 'I understand. And I'm happy for you.'

'Are you?' Rayna tried to choke back her tears. 'Sorry – I am just so emotional these days.'

'I am,' Tandy said sincerely.

Suddenly the door burst open and Maddie and Daphne came in, chattering excitedly and trailed by Deacon and Scarlett.

'Mom, you should see Juliette's costumes for tonight. She had new ones made for the show and they're so pretty! She even let us try a couple on!' Maddie gushed.

'I hope the ones you tried on were longer than the doilies she usually wears,' Rayna said dryly. 'I can't wait to see them,' she said, happy to see them so happy. Deacon came to stand beside her and leaned down to brush a gentle kiss across her forehead. She instinctively leaned into him, a movement that was not lost on Tandy. Then Rayna remembered where she was and quickly leaned away from him to speak to the girls.

'I think it's time y'all get started on your homework.'

'Mom, it's Friday night. Can't we do it tomorrow or Sunday?' Daphne pleaded.

'No, I'd like you to do it now and get it over with.'

Maddie turned to Deacon. 'Deacon, will you help me with math? You helped a lot last night,' she said shyly. 'Sure will, darlin.' Be glad to,' he said, getting a little choked up again.

'Don't forget me,' Daphne chimed in. 'I need help with my spelling.'

'Sweetheart, I could never forget you,' he said, settling down beside her. Daphne beamed and Tandy looked on approvingly. She was glad to see that Daphne would never be made to feel second- or third- best with Deacon. That counted a lot in Tandy's book, and she felt herself warming to the idea of having Deacon as her brother-in-law.

Rayna turned to Scarlett. 'Thanks for giving them the tour, Scarlett.'

'It was no trouble, Ms.– I mean, Rayna. No trouble at all.' She smiled bashfully and took her leave.

'Mom, Dad called and said you could spend the night at the house tonight since you're taking us to get our hair done tomorrow,' Daphne said, opening her spelling notebook. 'He wants you to call him.'

Deacon's jaw clenched and Tandy caught the look that passed between he and Rayna.

'Okay, hon. I'll call him.' Then she spoke to Deacon. 'Deacon, can I talk to you a minute? I want to show you this chord we're thinking of working in to 'Already Gone' tonight.'

'Sure. I'll be right back,' he said to Daphne, ruffling her hair.

Tandy looked at Rayna. 'Everything okay?' she mouthed. Rayna nodded and followed Deacon into the hallway.

'I guess I'll have Nashville's finest hotel room all to myself tonight,' he said, trying not to look as disappointed as he felt.

'I'm sorry, babe. I know you already made reservations but I can't really back out of this. I'd love it if you stayed at the house with us again tonight.' She looked at him hopefully.

'If you'll recall, a certain soon-to-be ex-husband of yours doesn't want me staying there.' He'd tell her about his man-to-man talk with Teddy after the show.

'I don't care, Deacon. He doesn't get to call the shots on this. I need you.' She buried her face in his chest and inhaled deeply. The way he smelled always calmed her down.

'Okay, if you're sure.' He kissed her forehead. 'You ready for the show tonight?'

'Ready for it to be over,' she countered. 'I wish you were playing with me tonight.'

'Oh, I will be, darlin. You don't have to worry about that.'

She slapped him playfully on the arm. 'Onstage.'

"Maybe Liam will have a relapse,' he joked.

'You know what? I think there's definitely something going on between he and Juliette. There was this weird vibe in the car ride over this morning.'

'There is definitely something going on,' he said. 'I caught 'em kissing in your living room this morning.'

'_What?_'

'I asked Juliette about it and she told me to mind my own business. _After _she accused me of being jealous.' He chuckled when he saw the murderous look in her eye.

'Were you jealous?'

'Of Liam and Juliette? Why? You think I got a crush on Liam?'

She swatted him again.

'Now if we're talking about you and Liam, well, that's a different story. If I'd caught him kissing _you_ I'd definitely be jealous. And he'd be wearing his ass in a sling.'

She smiled, glad he found himself at a place where he could joke about Liam.

'Now, I believe I'd better get back to my date and you better get ready for sound check,' he said, kissing her gently.

'Well, Daphne does seem pretty territorial about you…'

'Yes, she does. And I do not want to get on her bad side.'


	28. Chapter 28

_Sorry for the delay, guys - the show's new season has left me singularly uninspired. I also got a new job, and that has really been cutting in to my fanfic time. Thanks for your patience - and, as always, for reading (your comments mean a lot, so please keep them coming)._

* * *

Rayna stood in front of a full-length mirror, holding up the dress she'd be wearing for 'Wrong Song.' She prayed the seamstress had left enough room to accommodate her burgeoning belly and breasts because bursting the seams and giving the audience a peep show would not be a good way to end this tour.

Juliette had invited Maddie and Daphne to watch her get ready and the girls had rushed through their arena meal of chicken fingers and salad to get there in time. Bucky had taken Tandy off somewhere, and Rayna was anxious to capitalize on the absence of their extended family.

'Alone at last,' Deacon said, locking the door with a flourish.

She smiled at him and raised her eyebrows. He smiled back and winked. She threw the dress over a chair and took a running leap into his arms, throwing him against the wall.

'Whoa, darlin!' You gotta be careful there.' He laughed, clutching her ass to keep her from falling.

'Sorry,' she said, sliding down and undoing the buckle on his jeans before slipping her hand inside. 'We have about 20 minutes before hair and makeup get here so now's the time to get all hot and sweaty. You with me?'

'I am. What you got in mind?' He leaned against her, forehead to forehead, caressing her silky soft hair.

'Remember what I said this morning?'

'Hmmm … when you begged me to marry you?'

She swatted him but continued her massage. 'No, about making love to me before sound check.'

'You're late, darlin. You had sound check an hour ago.'

'I know, but I'd like you to do it anyway.'

'Think we can get it done before your crew arrives?' he said breathlessly.

'Well, it won't take much to get me to the finish line and I'm trying to get you there too. How am I doing?'

'Pretty well, darlin, pretty well,' he groaned. He kissed her, parting her lips with his tongue and exploring her mouth. She pulled down his jeans and he turned her around, leaning her against the wall.

Suddenly there was a knock, and the door handle turned as someone tried to get in. Groaning, Deacon quickly did up his jeans and Rayna pulled down the skirt of her dress, rearranging it as she opened the door.

'Hey,' Liam smirked. 'Am I interrupting anything?' he said, looking Rayna up and down. Her face was flushed and Deacon looked like he was spitting nails.

'What can I do for you, Liam?' Rayna said evenly, feigning an air of nonchalance.

'I just wanted to tell you I was going to switch up the chords for 'Wrong Song' – didn't want you to be surprised.' Turning to Deacon, he said, 'Thought I'd take your advice.'

'Good to know,' Deacon said, hiding behind the door to conceal the bulge in his pants.

'Well, I'll see you onstage, then. Bye.'

'Bye.'

She closed the door hard and burst into laughter when she heard it slam. 'Hope his feelings aren't hurt. Do you think he knows we we're trying to get rid of him?'

'Darlin', the last thing on my mind is Liam's feelings. Can we just get back to what we were doing?'

'Okay,' she said, turning back around and facing the wall. She reached behind her to resume her ministrations.

'Can't we do this face to face?' Deacon moaned.

'You want to look into my eyes while you fuck me?' Rayna said, turning around.

'I sure do, darlin'. Nothin' sends me over the edge faster than seeing your face when you come.'

'Since we are in a hurry, I suppose that'll do.' She spread her legs, he lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him. He cupped the cheeks of her ass and she used her hand to guide him in. When she felt him slip inside her she moaned appreciatively. 'God, Deacon, I love it when you're inside me. You feel so good, so good. Babe, I love you so much.' They stared into each other's eyes, which made the sex even more intense.

He twisted his hips, boring into her at just the right angle and it catapulted her over the edge. God, she loved this man. She sobbed into his shoulder but his words forced her to look up. 'Look at me, Ray,' he commanded, his face twisting with pleasure as he slammed into her. 'Tell me you're mine. Tell me you belong to me and nobody else.' Breathing raggedly, she stared deeply into his eyes and answered truthfully. 'I belong to you, Deacon, no one else – oh God,' she groaned, reveling at the power behind his thrusts. 'It's always been you – it will always be you. For as long as I live.' Hearing those words, her acknowledgement that no other man would ever touch her again, that he owned her at last, sent him over the edge and he forced himself into her as deeply as he could. He staggered back and carried her over to the couch. They were still joined as they lay down together, murmuring softly to each other as they came down.

When she looked at the clock on the wall she realized it was only 30 minutes to show time, which meant hair and makeup would be here any minute. She gave him one last kiss and then she was off the couch, pulling down her skirt and trying to fix her hair. When she looked in the mirror she thought she looked as if she'd been out for a run. Rivulets of sweat were running down her neck so she quickly opened a bottle of water and poured it over some paper towels, cooling her forehead as she tried to make herself presentable. She did the same for Deacon, who was adjusting his jeans. His hands were trembling as she wiped his face lovingly, reveling in the coolness of the water on his skin. Someone knocked on the door but before she went to answer she leaned forward to nibble his bottom lip, leaving him breathless.

The show went off without a hitch. Afterwards, Rayna said goodbye to everyone, smirking as she watched Liam try to get Juliette's attention. They left hand-in-hand, barely acknowledging Rayna and Deacon who gathered the girls and got ready to head home.

When they arrived, the girls went to bed and then it was just the two of them, alone on the couch.

'Want to talk about those ground rules?' Deacon said languidly. He was tired but he just wanted to get this conversation over with. He wasn't particularly worried about what Rayna might say – hell, he had a few ground rules he wanted her to agree to himself. If he were lucky their list of rules would be identical.

Rayna looked at him. 'They're pretty simple,' she said slowly. 'No drinking and no cheating. Can you live with that?'

'I can. I've got a couple of my own,' he said, looking at her intently. 'No lying and no leaving.'

Rayna thought she could live with those things. Still, she wanted to tease him a bit, so she smiled. 'No leaving, huh?'

'No leaving,' he repeated, seriously. The smile died on her lips as Deacon continued. He was not in a joking mood. 'Either we agree we are in this for the rest of our lives or we go our separate ways tonight.' Rayna gasped. 'I don't want that, Ray, but except for the deal breakers, I don't want leaving to be an option. When things get tough I want to know that you're gonna stand there and fight for us right along with me. We start the day together and we end the day together, period. For the rest of our lives.' Her expression was inscrutable and for the first time he wondered if they really were on the same page. 'Can you live with that?' he said tentatively.

'Yes,' she said, snuggling into him.

'Good,' he said. 'Let's get you to bed, Mrs. Claybourne.'

He got to his feet, offered her his hand and led her to the guest room. Too tired for their usual shenanigans, they soon fell asleep, Rayna's face pressed against Deacon's bare chest and his face buried in her hair.


End file.
